Times you've thought DID I JUST SEE THAT!??

[Norman Potting]

I was once driving down a narrow country lane in the wee hours of a cold winter's morning when my car ground to a halt and I was hit by a glaring bright light.

Without fear I leapt from my car, believing myself fully prepared to meet whatever it was head on, not realising that those lights I had seen were from an extraterrestrial landing craft.

Suffice to say that this gleaming behemoth stopped me in my tracks, no matter what I thought was out there I wasn't prepared to see a ship hovering over me.

I stood stock still, not sure what to do next. My decision was made for me as, without any warning, the craft touched down (RIP Car) and a small imp-like creature emerged.

Now, I didn't understand any of the noises this little fellow was making but even I could tell it was seriously annoyed about something.

After the initial shock of the situation had subsided I set about trying to communicate with the creature and understand what was causing it such apparent distress.

Eventually, it produced a small spherical object for my inspection whilst waving a tentacle (oh yeah, it had tentacles) at a fairly noticeable dent on the side of it's otherwise immaculate craft.

It was then that I realised what had happened, with the dread of certainty dawning on me like the sun itself would in just a few short hours.

I knew then that I'd have to communicate to the creature that this apparent attack on their craft was nothing more than a mishap rather than the first salvo of an intergalactic war.

Using flashcards, morse code and the ever useful interpretive dance I managed to dissuade the creature from obliterating our planet and instead aim at the true culprit, the one responsible for causing such damage to his pride and joy.

I must confess that it was here that I decided to bend the truth as I couldn't let the real villain of the piece take the fall, not if I wanted to remain a true and proud Albion fan.

Thankfully, using the power of the internet, I could show my new friend video 'proof' of the item being launched into space as well as a clear image of the culprit.

Long story short, it departed vowing revenge on the earthling now known to it as 'Punch-Eon' and I could rest easy knowing that, for now, Leo will remain safe...well, as long as he can keep future spot kicks down anyway.

Are you Meade's Ball's twin?

 

[Alex Alex Dawson oo! oo!]

After finishing my A level mocks in January 1972 I visited some relatives in Derry, Northern Ireland.

Whilst there I went on a protest march through the city, during the course of which I saw some soldiers start firing on the crowd. I have no idea why.

 

[Norman Potting]

I was walking from Glynde to Lewes at dusk one August evening in 2009. I turned a corner and looked in a field, only to recoil in horror at what looked, through fading light, to be an almost prehistoric animal walking around.

It was a Bactrian Camel. After emerging from hiding I got a lot closer and it turned out to be a friendly chap.

Scared the feck out of me, mind

I know exacty where you mean - we were driving down that lane in broad daylight a few years ago, went past a field of Llama/Alpaca (not that uncommon these days), went round a corner and possibly the same camel was standing by a gate grinning at us - I bet he did it on purpose to see the reaction of motorists!

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

Are you Meade's Ball's twin?

Oh but for the chance to have shared a womb with the great wordsmith...sadly it's not the case.

 

[Petunia]

Reuben Xaus' willy when he dropped his pants at a very drunken post Superbike race party a few years ago

 

[Gwylan]

Another weird thing - I was in the audience at the 'inaugural' Brighton Riot Squad gig at the Vault, and have 'chatted' with 3 members of the band in the space of a month, without realising two of them were in the band. Now, that's spooky

Ha, that IS spooky. If you chat with the fourth, that would be very, very weird indeed

 

[Easy 10]

Oh but for the chance to have shared a womb with the great wordsmith...sadly it's not the case.

Never say never.

 

[BigGully]

Walking along the seafront on sunny Summers day a few years back, got to that paddling pool thingy which was heaving with parents and kids and suddenly caught sight of some skanky kid with a towel wrapped round his girlfriends body (male stripperesque) who was on her knees giving him a BJ !!!

It kinda didnt register fully until I had walked about 20 yards past them, but on trying to show my mate I just couldn't find them in the malaise of a busy seafront !!

 

[Codner pharmaceuticals]

Driving out of São Paulo airport in Brazil in 92 and a bloke was striding purposefully down the central reserve of the motorway, stark bollock naked.

Amazing how many of these stories are motorway related... I saw a completely naked man legging it round the M25 with an elderly coach driver trying his best to catch him - brilliant.

 

[Arthur]

Walking along the seafront on sunny Summers day a few years back, got to that paddling pool thingy which was heaving with parents and kids and suddenly caught sight of some skanky kid with a towel wrapped round his girlfriends body (male stripperesque) who was on her knees giving him a BJ !!!

It kinda didnt register fully until I had walked about 20 yards past them, but on trying to show my mate I just couldn't find them in the malaise of a busy seafront !!

Had a similar experience several years back going to an Albion game. Leicester away (Adams had left us to go there, they won and got promoted and we were as good as relegated if memory recalls), I decided to drive on my own for some reason. I was running late so was giving it some right foot up the M1 minding my own business and I overtook a chap looking very pleased with himself when all of a sudden the back of a head appeared from his lap. I couldn't quite believe it so slowed down and let him overtake me. Sure enough my peepers weren't deceiving me and he was getting noshed off whilst doing about 80mph in the middle lane of the M1.

 

[Birdie Boy]

Early one Sunday morning going to West Hove golf club at the A27 turning you drive over cattle grids and I saw two policeman chasing sheep around. I asked what they were doing and they thought they had got loose bloody wallies!

 

[Puppet Master]

A tramp on a bench in Norwich playing with himself with a carrier bag on his head. More startling was people casuall walking past him without a care in the world.

 

[BigGully]

A tramp on a bench in Norwich playing with himself with a carrier bag on his head. More startling was people casuall walking past him without a care in the world.

What would you expect them to do, recommend a good porn site ....................

 

[Fignon's Ponytail]

Walking along the seafront on sunny Summers day a few years back, got to that paddling pool thingy which was heaving with parents and kids and suddenly caught sight of some skanky kid with a towel wrapped round his girlfriends body (male stripperesque) who was on her knees giving him a BJ !!

Much the same thing as we saw a few years ago during Pride. We were driving past the pub on the corner by Brighton station, & there was a young chap on his knees, taking a mouthful of his mate. On the pavement...surrounded by a huge crowd of drinkers not batting an eyelid...about midday on a Saturday.

 

[LlcoolJ]

At Creamfields with a group of mates in 2002 there were two girls walking around with a guy in a big rubber duck costume promoting some drink or other. We got our picture taken with them (as we did with random coppers, St John's ambulance men, people dressed as vikings etc) and thought nothing of it. Shortly afterwards we were stood at a terrace bar overlooking a large gentle hill and got talking to some local scallys. We spotted the duck and mentioned it to them and the three of them jumped straight over the fence of the terrace and ran about 100m, jumping on the duck and attempting to steal his massive rubber head/body.

The promotional girls screamed as the three lads wrestled with the duck who put up a good fight and was just about managing to hold on to his costume. The next second about five rozzers came charging out of nowhere and the scallys ran for it. Two made it into the crowd but one ran down the hill and from our perfect viewpoint we were treated to a keystone cops style chase as the lad dodged round various groups of ravers with the coppers in pursuit, complete with police helmets falling off and the lad only being caught when someone stuck a foot out and tripped him over sending him face first into the grass.

He was marched away to cheers from the crowd. About five minutes later, the other two turned back up at the bar and within half an hour he was back too having been chucked out and then paid to get back in.

It was mentioned on Radio 1 the following week by Sara Cox who had witnessed the duck assault but not the comedy chase. I've got some photos somewhere.

 

[halbpro]

A cup replay game in Ireland which descended into a pitch invasion after the final whistle featuring one fan of each team duelling, sword-fight style, with their rolled-up umbrellas in the centre circle.

That sounds AMAZING. Far better than a normal pitch invasion.

 

[Chicken Run]

Just seen a guy in a Brighton shirt cross the road at the bottom of North Road holding hands with another man. How cute I thought

 

[Seagull58]

Had a similar experience several years back going to an Albion game. Leicester away (Adams had left us to go there, they won and got promoted and we were as good as relegated if memory recalls), I decided to drive on my own for some reason. I was running late so was giving it some right foot up the M1 minding my own business and I overtook a chap looking very pleased with himself when all of a sudden the back of a head appeared from his lap. I couldn't quite believe it so slowed down and let him overtake me. Sure enough my peepers weren't deceiving me and he was getting noshed off whilst doing about 80mph in the middle lane of the M1.

Was he driving a silver s type jag?

 

[Seagull58]

I was driving on the A303 near Andover one evening and a car drove towards and past me going the wrong way on my side of the dual carriageway. It took a good few seconds to register that he was blasting the wrong way at a good 70 MPH. Fortunately, there were very few cars around. Then, about 2 years later, exactly the same thing happened on the same stretch of road (a different car though). I believe there have been several drivers killed on that stretch of road due to driving the wrong way on the carriageway.

 

[Cian]

That sounds AMAZING. Far better than a normal pitch invasion.

I can confirm it happened (was also there). This wasn't for show, the two of them were actually going at it properly.