Thread of jokes for which the punchlines are in the other thread

[pasty]

What can a cow do that a woman can't?

 

[The Large One]

What time does Hans Kraay get to Wimbledon?

 

[Man of Harveys]

Cliff Richard is playing a concert in Japan. It's going well so he asks the crowd "do you have any requests?". "TITS OR FANNY, TITS OR FANNY", they shout. "I don't know that one and I'm a Christian entertainer...how does it go?"

 

[The Large One]

How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

 

[seagullwedgee]

I was on my driving test and the instructor asked "can you make a u turn"....

 

[house your seagull]

i always thought my dad had torettes ...

 

[seagullwedgee]

my mate saya a new secretary has just started at his office, and all the blokes call her Spanner. "why do you call her that"?

 

[The Large One]

Velcro...?

 

[Behind Enemy Lines]

A horse walks into a bar. The barman says...

 

[Easy 10]

Bloke walks into a pub with a big smile on his face.
"What are you looking so happy about ?" the barman asks.
"Well, on my way here I found this girl tied to the railway tracks" he said. "So I untied her, and then shagged the living daylights out of her".
"Cor, nice one" says the barman. "Was she a bit of a looker then ?"

 

[Simster]

Did you hear about the spastic who wanted an icecream. The ice cream man asks "do you want a large or small icecream". And the spastic says...

 

[Man of Harveys]

Did you heard about the spazz who won Come Dancing?

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

How do you flap a towel Dad ?

 

[Everest]

There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
"Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382". "Wow!" said the herder.
"That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?" asked the woman.

 

[binky]

What's the difference between athe rolling Stones and a Welsh shepherd?

 

[Cullip4]

Whats Black and got 8 Legs?

 

[Tony the Pony]

What goes down quicker than Jordan?