eastlondonseagull
Well-known member
Offensive (and funny in parts) they don't half hate Withdean 
--
Another Millwall defeat, another report from messageboard regular BigD. This time he casts his eye over the Lions' 3-0 loss to Brighton and Hove Albion:
Friday night football? What were they thinking? And at the Withdean scaffolding factory as well? It is a Godforsaken shitheap of a place at the best of times and I am as glad as the fudge packers are that they will be moving to a proper football ground in the near future. I hate that place with a passion. MrsB did vow that we wouldn’t go there again the last time but I know that my readers expect me to rise above my own personal feelings and lay forth with the fans eye view of what we laughingly refer to as a match report.
The Withdean. Is there a worse place to go to watch a game of professional football? In fact, is there a worse place to go to watch any kind of football?
We arrived nice and early in the Bonemobile and was met by the welcoming sight of numerous sign posts that boldly informed us that there was ‘No football parking, residents only’ or words to that effect. How quaint. Some might say that it is a good thing to keep the locals happy and that the park and ride is a boon to the travelling fans from London and indeed, Sussex. Not me though. Narrow minded in the extreme if you want my opinion. Oohhh, nasty motorcars everywhere on match days…terrible stuff…nightmarish situations…eh? What a load of bollocks. We are only there for a couple of hours max and then we are away again. Big f***ing disruption that is to the day-to-day goings on around the Withdean Home for Meccano enthusiasts. Grow up you nimby wankers and learn to accept it for the few years remaining and make all our lives that little bit easier.
Anyway. We parked near a harvester pub and popped in there for a quick bite to eat before the kick off and that was about as good as the evening got.
When the tannoy announcer gargles out our starting line up the collective groans of 700 odd Millwall fans caused a little bit more of the old pier to drop into the briny at the sea front.
I am wont to criticise Oor Wullie but any team that starts with Whitbread, Dunne and May in the line up is asking for trouble.
Day in goal, Senda, Robbo, Fatima and Frampton across the back, Spiller, Brammer, Harris and Dunne in midfield with Alexander and May up front. It looked for all intents and purposes that the wee man was going all out for a ‘try not to lose’ strategy.
The subs bench was astonishingly good though! Simpson, Smith, Hackett, Edwards and Barron. I am sure Wullie knows what he is doing but this sort of thinking only adds fuel to the fire of the boo boys and will just enforce the belief that he is cutting his schnozzle off to spite his face.
Play your best team Wullie!! Remember what our old chum Sophocles said at Glasgow elementary school all those years ago? Rather fail with honour than succeed by fraud.
Can I just take this opportunity to make a plea to all those hardy souls who did actually go the game? It is likely that we will have to go back to this shit hole at some point before the stadium in Falmer gets built. If we do, please, please refrain from taking up your position and uttering the most over used quip in Christendom from all visiting fans. You know what is it, don’t you? No?
“Fack me…where’s me binoculars”
It wasn’t funny the first time and it isn’t funny now and it will never be funny at all. The view is about as good as looking for a black cat in a coal cellar. We all know that. We don’t need reminding.
Sorry, I digress. The match started as we all tried to make sense of seeing Millwall in a changed strip of yellow shirts blue shorts and socks and yes I am aware it might well have been like watching Brazil for say, oh about all of 10 seconds, and then it proceeded to look like watching 11 Alan Brazils and believe me that ai9nt at all the same thing.
Brighton were up for it, make no mistake. They were pumped up and raring to go, it was already deemed party time by the announcer what with the campaign for Falmer finally bearing fruit (pun intended) the crowd were expecting a proper display and they weren’t disappointed.
With no Shaw marshalling the back four it pains me to say we were all at sea and under the cosh from the word go. The pressure was unrelenting and Day made a couple of timely saves to paper over the alarming cracks in our defensive unit.
It didn’t take too long for disaster to strike though and after about ten minutes Brighton forced a corner and as the ball came in it was scrambled away (and to be honest I was following the ball) but the ref blew for a penalty. Further evidence has revealed that it was Alexander who was penalised for a clumsy challenge but the ref gave it so it was a penalty.
Hammond stepped up to take it and although he struck it well, Day was unlucky not to make a fine save. 1-0. it was going to be a long old night.
We never got going after that. We had no width at all and no outlets for the beleaguered back four to aim for. It was no big surprise when after another 10 minutes of Brighton pressure we shipped in goal number two. It was a well-taken goal I begrudgingly admit as Cocks (sic) chipped over Day from the left of the area.
A majority of the Millwall faithful decided to let the world know that they needed a lavatory but I must say that screaming out SHIT, SHIT, SHIT really is a bit much. Perhaps it was an intentional play on words because goal Number 2 had gone in? If so, then I guess that is fair enough…
Dave Brammer took a hell of chance at one point by removing his shorts and then his top, as he stood on the touchline in front of the Brighton faithful. It caused pandemonium in the massed Brighton ranks as young men swooned and paramedics rushed to their aid with smelling salts.
It was understandable that the Millwall fans spontaneous sung to their Brighton counterparts “ Stand up, if you can’t sit down”..
I think we did have at least one attempt at goal in the first forty-five minutes but because the lads were kicking away from our end I have no real idea because you need binoculars to see anything at this place…har har har
First half failures, it has to be said, were Neil Harris and surprisingly Dave Brammer who both did very little to help the cause. Alan Dunne did nothing wrong. He didn’t actually do anything so no change there. Spiller did the work for all the above-mentioned players.
Robbo needs Shaw. It is as simple as that at the moment. Whitbread was no worse than any of the back four, it has to be stated . The two full backs were over worked and the two strikers under worked. Wullie needed to change things at Half time..
Half time came and do you know I didn’t see any MISA reps at all at the ground
?
I did see two earlier on in the day though so a mention for the Boss who travelled all the up to East Acton during the day to meet me for a little transaction and a mention for the ubiquitous Herman Boring who I saw before and after the game but not during!
Now I am not one to cast aspersions and I am sure there were others there so all I will say is better luck next time MISA reps…if there is a next time after this debacle!
On the subject of Millwall fans in general is it my inverted snobbery and I or are some of our fans not the full shilling? Before the game, as I was waiting for MrsB to return from the Ladies I watched as a middle aged woman with her teenage son began to peer through the little windows of the changing rooms (they back onto the away fan section). I heard her say to her son, “Is that Brighton in there”
“Dunno, Mum” he replied.
“I fink it is” she said, “Yeah, it is, it’s Brighton!”
“Say sumfin’ to ‘em, Mum” her offspring giggled
“’ello Brighton” She screamed, and promptly walked off….
Dear God above, as I sit here at my PC I am reminded of the fact that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity, is it. Of all the insults, berating, witticisms, she could muster to inflict on our opponents, she calls out “ ‘ello Brighton”….
Some more discerning reporters would not give a description of this woman out of compassion. Not me though. She was in her forties, short, plump, long dark hair and spoke like Jade Goody after a lobotomy.
Some may say ‘coach one material’? That is not for me to say but for you to decide…
The second half finally took place after a long winded Falmer acceptance speech by the Chairman of Brighton FC who must’ve been slightly puzzled by the cacophony of boos when he mentioned Ken Brown.
Oor Wullie at last let Smith off the leash as he replaced Bomber and the difference was there for all to see. This was a completely different team now, with just that one change, we finally had Brighton under some pressure. The strange thing with the substitution was that he put Smith on the right wing. Now this is really puzzling. If Wullie thought we needed to attack them down the right flank, why didn’t he put Hackett on, who is a natural right winger? I could understand it if Hackett wasn’t on the bench but he was so surely that would’ve been the thing to do. Or bring Smith on but play him on his more natural left?
Anyway, we were finally causing problems and when Brammer hit a thunderous shot towards goal it looked for a moment that we might be cheering something at last but a fine save from Kuipers put paid to that scenario.
Although Smith was doing the business it is sad to report that our fundamental problem will not go away. We don’t have anyone seemingly capable of turning a chance into a goal. May should not be playing at this level. Seriously. Alexander is probably a 10 –12 goal a season player. So when Simpson stripped off on the hour mark our hopes were raised. But once again Oor Wullie dumfounded us by taking off Alexander and leaving May on.
Simpson then showed why he should be starting every game while he is with us. He is quick, has a decent first touch, knows where the goal is and can cause panic stations in the most disciplined of defences.
We picked up a free kick on the edger of their box as the Brighton defenders resorted to kicking out in desperation. The resulting free kick was wasted though as Spiller drove it way over the bar.
Spiller, for money, our best player on the night, put Simpson in with a chance after threading a lovely ball through the Brighton rear guard but Simpson’s shot swerved wide of the mark.
Simpson was soon in thick of it again and as he honed in on goal he was surrounded by a gaggle of Brighton players who quickly realised that this lad was a real handful. The chance was gone as the Brighton defence managed to wrestle the ball away from Simpson’s feet and away to safety.
But it was at last something to pin our hopes on. We were slowly getting on top of the Albion and the next goal would be decisive. If we got it, then we could’ve pushed on for a draw. Unfortunately, it went the other way and killed the game off.
Against the run of play, Brighton broke out of defence and a long looping ball across the Millwall area saw Brighton sub Martot fire into the Millwall net unchallenged.
It was all over bar the shouting and when Fatima got his marching orders in injury time it just about put the icing on the cake for a miserable night all round.
As Whitbread took the walk of shame around the running track towards the changing rooms he was met with a barrage of abuse from a large section of the Millwall fans that had bothered to stay til the end.
The fans would, I suspect, have been just as unkind to any of the Millwall players in this position but Whitbread made a fatal error by engaging with the apoplectic mob. All he did was hold his arms out as if to say ‘why are you berating me?’ but it was like a red rag to a bull and the baying mob let rip a torrent of abuse tha Bernard Manning would have been proud of.
Zack, if you ever read this, learn from this episode and never, ever engage with the fans when we have been thumped 3-0 and looking for a scapegoat!
Even worse, don’t ever criticise the travelling fan. Big Mistake. Big, big mistake. An even bigger mistake than when a Dalek had to climb off a dustbin. We are talking biblical mistake here.
You may never recover from it.
And I’d wager there are a lot of Millwall fans that hope you don’t.
The final whistle brought forth the cries for oor Wullies demise. Plenty of abuse, plenty of anger, plenty of disgruntled Millwall fans.
The players did their best to look apologetic and half hearted applauded those fans that stuck it out to the bitter end. I may be a tad cynical here but I reckon if the tunnel had been at the other end or at the side then they would’ve scuttled off without so much as wave.
It was not the worst performance I’ve ever seen from a Millwall team, far from it but when you are on a losing streak (and that is exactly what we are on) then every defeat feels like the worst.
Wullie is making mistakes. Our league position tells us that much. What I hope for his sake is that he knows he has made errors in judgement when selecting his teams and does something to rectify it.
As my old store man from work, Rodney Marsh used to say, “There is an old Indian saying that states: an error is not a mistake until you refuse to correct it”.
I couldn’t have put it better myself.
I desperately want Wullie to succeed, of course I do and so do you lot as well. If Wullie is getting it right then we are all benefiting. I will not jump on the bandwagon and keep demanding his head on a pole. I am going out on a limb, supporting our wee jock manager, and hope my faith is repaid sooner rather than later.
What’s next? Walsall at home and they are yet to win away this season.
Oh f***……
Yet again, many thanks to BigD.
--
Another Millwall defeat, another report from messageboard regular BigD. This time he casts his eye over the Lions' 3-0 loss to Brighton and Hove Albion:
Friday night football? What were they thinking? And at the Withdean scaffolding factory as well? It is a Godforsaken shitheap of a place at the best of times and I am as glad as the fudge packers are that they will be moving to a proper football ground in the near future. I hate that place with a passion. MrsB did vow that we wouldn’t go there again the last time but I know that my readers expect me to rise above my own personal feelings and lay forth with the fans eye view of what we laughingly refer to as a match report.
The Withdean. Is there a worse place to go to watch a game of professional football? In fact, is there a worse place to go to watch any kind of football?
We arrived nice and early in the Bonemobile and was met by the welcoming sight of numerous sign posts that boldly informed us that there was ‘No football parking, residents only’ or words to that effect. How quaint. Some might say that it is a good thing to keep the locals happy and that the park and ride is a boon to the travelling fans from London and indeed, Sussex. Not me though. Narrow minded in the extreme if you want my opinion. Oohhh, nasty motorcars everywhere on match days…terrible stuff…nightmarish situations…eh? What a load of bollocks. We are only there for a couple of hours max and then we are away again. Big f***ing disruption that is to the day-to-day goings on around the Withdean Home for Meccano enthusiasts. Grow up you nimby wankers and learn to accept it for the few years remaining and make all our lives that little bit easier.
Anyway. We parked near a harvester pub and popped in there for a quick bite to eat before the kick off and that was about as good as the evening got.
When the tannoy announcer gargles out our starting line up the collective groans of 700 odd Millwall fans caused a little bit more of the old pier to drop into the briny at the sea front.
I am wont to criticise Oor Wullie but any team that starts with Whitbread, Dunne and May in the line up is asking for trouble.
Day in goal, Senda, Robbo, Fatima and Frampton across the back, Spiller, Brammer, Harris and Dunne in midfield with Alexander and May up front. It looked for all intents and purposes that the wee man was going all out for a ‘try not to lose’ strategy.
The subs bench was astonishingly good though! Simpson, Smith, Hackett, Edwards and Barron. I am sure Wullie knows what he is doing but this sort of thinking only adds fuel to the fire of the boo boys and will just enforce the belief that he is cutting his schnozzle off to spite his face.
Play your best team Wullie!! Remember what our old chum Sophocles said at Glasgow elementary school all those years ago? Rather fail with honour than succeed by fraud.
Can I just take this opportunity to make a plea to all those hardy souls who did actually go the game? It is likely that we will have to go back to this shit hole at some point before the stadium in Falmer gets built. If we do, please, please refrain from taking up your position and uttering the most over used quip in Christendom from all visiting fans. You know what is it, don’t you? No?
“Fack me…where’s me binoculars”
It wasn’t funny the first time and it isn’t funny now and it will never be funny at all. The view is about as good as looking for a black cat in a coal cellar. We all know that. We don’t need reminding.
Sorry, I digress. The match started as we all tried to make sense of seeing Millwall in a changed strip of yellow shirts blue shorts and socks and yes I am aware it might well have been like watching Brazil for say, oh about all of 10 seconds, and then it proceeded to look like watching 11 Alan Brazils and believe me that ai9nt at all the same thing.
Brighton were up for it, make no mistake. They were pumped up and raring to go, it was already deemed party time by the announcer what with the campaign for Falmer finally bearing fruit (pun intended) the crowd were expecting a proper display and they weren’t disappointed.
With no Shaw marshalling the back four it pains me to say we were all at sea and under the cosh from the word go. The pressure was unrelenting and Day made a couple of timely saves to paper over the alarming cracks in our defensive unit.
It didn’t take too long for disaster to strike though and after about ten minutes Brighton forced a corner and as the ball came in it was scrambled away (and to be honest I was following the ball) but the ref blew for a penalty. Further evidence has revealed that it was Alexander who was penalised for a clumsy challenge but the ref gave it so it was a penalty.
Hammond stepped up to take it and although he struck it well, Day was unlucky not to make a fine save. 1-0. it was going to be a long old night.
We never got going after that. We had no width at all and no outlets for the beleaguered back four to aim for. It was no big surprise when after another 10 minutes of Brighton pressure we shipped in goal number two. It was a well-taken goal I begrudgingly admit as Cocks (sic) chipped over Day from the left of the area.
A majority of the Millwall faithful decided to let the world know that they needed a lavatory but I must say that screaming out SHIT, SHIT, SHIT really is a bit much. Perhaps it was an intentional play on words because goal Number 2 had gone in? If so, then I guess that is fair enough…
Dave Brammer took a hell of chance at one point by removing his shorts and then his top, as he stood on the touchline in front of the Brighton faithful. It caused pandemonium in the massed Brighton ranks as young men swooned and paramedics rushed to their aid with smelling salts.
It was understandable that the Millwall fans spontaneous sung to their Brighton counterparts “ Stand up, if you can’t sit down”..
I think we did have at least one attempt at goal in the first forty-five minutes but because the lads were kicking away from our end I have no real idea because you need binoculars to see anything at this place…har har har
First half failures, it has to be said, were Neil Harris and surprisingly Dave Brammer who both did very little to help the cause. Alan Dunne did nothing wrong. He didn’t actually do anything so no change there. Spiller did the work for all the above-mentioned players.
Robbo needs Shaw. It is as simple as that at the moment. Whitbread was no worse than any of the back four, it has to be stated . The two full backs were over worked and the two strikers under worked. Wullie needed to change things at Half time..
Half time came and do you know I didn’t see any MISA reps at all at the ground
?I did see two earlier on in the day though so a mention for the Boss who travelled all the up to East Acton during the day to meet me for a little transaction and a mention for the ubiquitous Herman Boring who I saw before and after the game but not during!
Now I am not one to cast aspersions and I am sure there were others there so all I will say is better luck next time MISA reps…if there is a next time after this debacle!
On the subject of Millwall fans in general is it my inverted snobbery and I or are some of our fans not the full shilling? Before the game, as I was waiting for MrsB to return from the Ladies I watched as a middle aged woman with her teenage son began to peer through the little windows of the changing rooms (they back onto the away fan section). I heard her say to her son, “Is that Brighton in there”
“Dunno, Mum” he replied.
“I fink it is” she said, “Yeah, it is, it’s Brighton!”
“Say sumfin’ to ‘em, Mum” her offspring giggled
“’ello Brighton” She screamed, and promptly walked off….
Dear God above, as I sit here at my PC I am reminded of the fact that artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity, is it. Of all the insults, berating, witticisms, she could muster to inflict on our opponents, she calls out “ ‘ello Brighton”….
Some more discerning reporters would not give a description of this woman out of compassion. Not me though. She was in her forties, short, plump, long dark hair and spoke like Jade Goody after a lobotomy.
Some may say ‘coach one material’? That is not for me to say but for you to decide…
The second half finally took place after a long winded Falmer acceptance speech by the Chairman of Brighton FC who must’ve been slightly puzzled by the cacophony of boos when he mentioned Ken Brown.
Oor Wullie at last let Smith off the leash as he replaced Bomber and the difference was there for all to see. This was a completely different team now, with just that one change, we finally had Brighton under some pressure. The strange thing with the substitution was that he put Smith on the right wing. Now this is really puzzling. If Wullie thought we needed to attack them down the right flank, why didn’t he put Hackett on, who is a natural right winger? I could understand it if Hackett wasn’t on the bench but he was so surely that would’ve been the thing to do. Or bring Smith on but play him on his more natural left?
Anyway, we were finally causing problems and when Brammer hit a thunderous shot towards goal it looked for a moment that we might be cheering something at last but a fine save from Kuipers put paid to that scenario.
Although Smith was doing the business it is sad to report that our fundamental problem will not go away. We don’t have anyone seemingly capable of turning a chance into a goal. May should not be playing at this level. Seriously. Alexander is probably a 10 –12 goal a season player. So when Simpson stripped off on the hour mark our hopes were raised. But once again Oor Wullie dumfounded us by taking off Alexander and leaving May on.
Simpson then showed why he should be starting every game while he is with us. He is quick, has a decent first touch, knows where the goal is and can cause panic stations in the most disciplined of defences.
We picked up a free kick on the edger of their box as the Brighton defenders resorted to kicking out in desperation. The resulting free kick was wasted though as Spiller drove it way over the bar.
Spiller, for money, our best player on the night, put Simpson in with a chance after threading a lovely ball through the Brighton rear guard but Simpson’s shot swerved wide of the mark.
Simpson was soon in thick of it again and as he honed in on goal he was surrounded by a gaggle of Brighton players who quickly realised that this lad was a real handful. The chance was gone as the Brighton defence managed to wrestle the ball away from Simpson’s feet and away to safety.
But it was at last something to pin our hopes on. We were slowly getting on top of the Albion and the next goal would be decisive. If we got it, then we could’ve pushed on for a draw. Unfortunately, it went the other way and killed the game off.
Against the run of play, Brighton broke out of defence and a long looping ball across the Millwall area saw Brighton sub Martot fire into the Millwall net unchallenged.
It was all over bar the shouting and when Fatima got his marching orders in injury time it just about put the icing on the cake for a miserable night all round.
As Whitbread took the walk of shame around the running track towards the changing rooms he was met with a barrage of abuse from a large section of the Millwall fans that had bothered to stay til the end.
The fans would, I suspect, have been just as unkind to any of the Millwall players in this position but Whitbread made a fatal error by engaging with the apoplectic mob. All he did was hold his arms out as if to say ‘why are you berating me?’ but it was like a red rag to a bull and the baying mob let rip a torrent of abuse tha Bernard Manning would have been proud of.
Zack, if you ever read this, learn from this episode and never, ever engage with the fans when we have been thumped 3-0 and looking for a scapegoat!
Even worse, don’t ever criticise the travelling fan. Big Mistake. Big, big mistake. An even bigger mistake than when a Dalek had to climb off a dustbin. We are talking biblical mistake here.
You may never recover from it.
And I’d wager there are a lot of Millwall fans that hope you don’t.
The final whistle brought forth the cries for oor Wullies demise. Plenty of abuse, plenty of anger, plenty of disgruntled Millwall fans.
The players did their best to look apologetic and half hearted applauded those fans that stuck it out to the bitter end. I may be a tad cynical here but I reckon if the tunnel had been at the other end or at the side then they would’ve scuttled off without so much as wave.
It was not the worst performance I’ve ever seen from a Millwall team, far from it but when you are on a losing streak (and that is exactly what we are on) then every defeat feels like the worst.
Wullie is making mistakes. Our league position tells us that much. What I hope for his sake is that he knows he has made errors in judgement when selecting his teams and does something to rectify it.
As my old store man from work, Rodney Marsh used to say, “There is an old Indian saying that states: an error is not a mistake until you refuse to correct it”.
I couldn’t have put it better myself.
I desperately want Wullie to succeed, of course I do and so do you lot as well. If Wullie is getting it right then we are all benefiting. I will not jump on the bandwagon and keep demanding his head on a pole. I am going out on a limb, supporting our wee jock manager, and hope my faith is repaid sooner rather than later.
What’s next? Walsall at home and they are yet to win away this season.
Oh f***……
Yet again, many thanks to BigD.
