[Misc] Things your parents said that surprised you

[Knocky's Nose]

Me, aged 15. Just met a stunning looking girl and was smitten.

My Dad : "She may be pretty now, but what does her Mum look like? She'll look like her Mum when she's older.."

Me : "Her Mum is a rather big lady. But Dawn (my new girlfriend) is very sporty and will always stay in shape Dad!"

Dad : "Doesn't always work like that. I once had a girlfriend when I was about 18 who had a stunning Mum... I shagged her, too!"

Me :

 

[e77]

Once asked my mother what football team I should follow. Her answer involved soap and a firearm, much to my surprise.

 

[Southern Scouse]

More statements and at least 40 years ago…
Mum…. I’ve left a packet of condoms in your bedside table, cannot be too careful can you?

Mum…..I left an ashtray by your bed as throwing your dog ends out of the window is a hazard to our customers (We lived above our shop)…
Bless her

 

[rebel51]

Why the fook was you born. Your a pain in the arse

 

[Eeyore]

I remember not being allowed out after being ill. "You can shout and jump as much as you like" Mum said.

So I shouted and I jumped. The kitchen strobe light then came tumbling on the floor below.

Exempt from any punishment, my Mum retreated downstairs rather wishing she hadn't said it.

 

[Justice]

You no longer have any Porno mags thanks mum ffs.