Things you might learn from watching American TV cop shows

[Acker79]

They have very impressive zooms

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[Lady Whistledown]

Most complex cases are solved in an afternoon.

And ALL cases are solved at some point. Nothing ever goes unresolved, unless it's a decades old murder case which requires the intervention of a weary detective with a personal interest thanks to the mysterious death of a family member years ago.

 

[The Large One]

• There's never anything contained in a pile of cardboard boxes left out on the street

 

[skipper734]

Mercs, Porsches and Jags and other sporty European cars can always be caught by yankee pick ups or big wallowing American USV's if driven by an American film Cop. Because 60 Mph is really fast.

 

[Simster]

At some point during a car chase, the chasing cop car will be required to mount the "sidewalk" and smash through hundreds of people either sitting in a cafe or buying groceries at a market stall.

And without exception, they will all successfully move (or dive) out of the way of the car travelling towards them at 50mph without incurring serious injury.

 

[The Large One]

They have very impressive zooms

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• Computer operators NEVER use a mouse.

 

[simmo]

No cop ever runs out of bullets.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

In UK police dramas, CCTV from any location will be in high definition, full colour, and focused on the exact spot at the exact time any given crime occurs, featuring a clear image of the villain's face, which will always be familiar to the Sun Hill beat regulars. And it will somehow follow him down the street as he makes his escape.

It will not be in time-lapse, black & white, and pointing in the other direction

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

One punch knocks you out

 

[Lady Whistledown]

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[Lady Whistledown]

One punch knocks you out

Unless you're the good guy.

 

[Thimble Keegan]

All cops take gunshot injuries with the minimal of fuss but when the hot colleague/love interest attempts to clean/dress the wound they wince in pain.

Albion & England forever.

Thimble Keegan
Rustington BHA

 

[Lady Whistledown]

A group of villains will never, ever attack a lone cop en masse, instead they will circle him and have a go one at a time, thus allowing him to pick them off one by one with some judicious karate kicks, until they're all on the ground.

 

[The Large One]

• White trenchcoats will never go out of fashion

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

When being chased on foot through a street/warehouse/anywhere in fact, a villian will always find a handy selection of marbles, basketballs, paint tins or other convenient devices to knock over behind him and slow his persuer temporarily.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

Sliding/jumping over bonnets of cars that have come screeching to a halt in the road is mandatory.

 

[¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤]

In a courtroom, a judge will always have to call "order" as shouting, hollering and arguing will inevitably break out.

 

[Biscuit]

There'll always be a vegetable stall in the way in a car chase.

and it's generally staffed by a short stout italian man who throws his arms up in dispair!

Cops only ever drink coffee and bad guys only drink alcohol out of a bottle.

 

[Lyndhurst 14]

They’re not very realistic. Most of the NYPD do not spend their time tearing around with the flashing lights on, most of it is spent parked outside the local 7 / 11 munching donuts and chatting up the women behind the counter.

 

[Arun1664]

Cocaine is only sold and trafficed by well dressed Columbians or Black Guys.
The way to test if white powder is Cocaine is to lick it off a pen knife