sir danny cullip
New member
My sister's getting married in brighton on August 6 2011 is bad enough for me, no contest though.
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Things you dread to hear from your girlfriend/spouse
- Thread starter Notters
- Start date
My sister's getting married in brighton on August 6 2011 is bad enough for me, no contest though.
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
The one where she says "You know I said that I couldn't find my birth certificate? Well, I've got something to tell you about what it says on there under "gender"........"
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
"TALK to me"
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
My current one (and my God aren't I paying for this...) is "I told you three years ago my ankle and foot was broken and you didn't believe me...."
Currently on crutches and in a wheelchair off her feet for 8 weeks following corrective surgery to fix the broken ankle, metatarsal and correct the tendons and ligaments....pushing the whining bitch around ASDA with the constant reminder that it was "my fault" is not my idea of a fun Friday morning.
f***.
Currently on crutches and in a wheelchair off her feet for 8 weeks following corrective surgery to fix the broken ankle, metatarsal and correct the tendons and ligaments....pushing the whining bitch around ASDA with the constant reminder that it was "my fault" is not my idea of a fun Friday morning.
f***.
Mr Banana
Tedious chump
nwgull
Well-known member
are you in a relationship with my ex-wife?!
John Bumlick
Banned
seeing as some seem to be taking the opportunity to share some old 'jokes', here's my favourite on the subject:
"does this dress make me look fat?"
"no, dear, of course not....you make the dress look fat."
"does this dress make me look fat?"
"no, dear, of course not....you make the dress look fat."
Easy 10
Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Note also that these conversational demands generally surface while I am watching football. Or reading the paper. Or playing Unchartered 2. Or having a shit.
NEVER when East pigging Enders is on.
hart's shirt
Well-known member
"We need to talk."
"About what?"
"Not now - later."
"About what?"
"Not now - later."
Don Quixote
Well-known member
- Nov 4, 2008
- 8,362
"I hate you"
Captain Haddock
Active member
Sainsbury's??
Captain Haddock
Active member
Some great posts here....and Danny is undoubtedly my favourite sick and twisted bastard poster!
HampshireSeagulls
Moulding Generation Z
Being told that "I don't need to go to the beer aisles" is going to be a novelty for about two days...making her clip herself in to the disabled shopping trolley is my only method of revenge at the moment. That and threatening to leave her in her rented, Red Cross, non-propellable wheelchair if she keeps it up...
Templeton Peck
Faceman
Why don't you support a good football team like Man United? And after her first Brighton game, why is your ground so crap? (despite being told I'm boring her when I've tried to explain both before)
- Thread starter
- #75
At least you could get to the match. Mine was hypothetical by the way!
¤DãŃn¥ §êãGüLL¤
Banned
I seem to attract a lot of women who enjoy rough, aggressive sex. It's not normally my thing but they always initiate it by saying stuff like "I'm not your girlfriend, I'm waiting for a bus"
hart's shirt
Well-known member
"We need some new pillows."
Exactly how many pillows do we need? We've got too many already - they're all over the room.
And no, they don't need to be symmetrically organised on the bed in descending order of size.
It's not as if I sleep on them anyway.
"I don't want any chips."
You do want some chips, so this will mean that you'll be eating mine instead.
"Just one or two" can be translated as at least half of them.
If you want some chips, I'll buy you some of your own.
You do realise that they've still got the same calories whether they're yours or mine.
Forget it, I'll go hungry...
"Where do you see us going?"
I don't know, but it's not going to be shopping on Saturday afternoons.
Exactly how many pillows do we need? We've got too many already - they're all over the room.
And no, they don't need to be symmetrically organised on the bed in descending order of size.
It's not as if I sleep on them anyway.
"I don't want any chips."
You do want some chips, so this will mean that you'll be eating mine instead.
"Just one or two" can be translated as at least half of them.
If you want some chips, I'll buy you some of your own.
You do realise that they've still got the same calories whether they're yours or mine.
Forget it, I'll go hungry...
"Where do you see us going?"
I don't know, but it's not going to be shopping on Saturday afternoons.
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Mr Banana
Tedious chump
"I don't want to stop you from seeing your friends"
"It's ok I guess"
"It's ok I guess"
