tronnogull
Well-known member
- May 17, 2010
- 602
Suppertime. 8 year old son stops eating and looks around the kitchen thoughtfully.......then says to his Mum and me, " Where are you going to live when I grow up.....?"
Got something to say or just want fewer pesky ads? Join us... 😊
[Humour] Things that kids have said that made you laugh out loud
- Thread starter Icy Gull
- Start date
- Jul 10, 2003
- 27,751
A friend, who's wife decided that they would use the anatomical terms rather than the regular euphemisms for body parts.
Hence standing at a bus stop in a volume only a three year old can achieve. 'Look at that man Daddy, his trousers are so tight you can see his penis'
Hence standing at a bus stop in a volume only a three year old can achieve. 'Look at that man Daddy, his trousers are so tight you can see his penis'
- Aug 7, 2003
- 8,085
My granddaughter when aged six told me “My daddy has a sausage on the front of his bottom, do you? 
My sister in law is quite potty mouthed, especially when driving. One day she braked hard to avoid a car in front with my three year old niece in the car seat in the back, who yelled “oh for F**KS sake, there goes bunny-bun”
pasty
A different kind of pasty
Waiting for a bus home from town, my young niece was pestering me for sweets. Her mum had specifically asked me not to get her any as she had plenty at home, so I told her no, I’m not buying you sweets because they’ll make you fat if you eat too many.
Cue a heavily pregnant woman joining the bus queue to whom my niece proudly exclaimed “I know what you’ve been doing”
Cue a heavily pregnant woman joining the bus queue to whom my niece proudly exclaimed “I know what you’ve been doing”
- Jul 10, 2003
- 27,751
Another 'friend' with a child of about 18 months, after two days of him holding his head and saying 'hurt' decided he needed to go to the Doctors.
The Doctor, having spent many years training for just such a situation suggested that child, with their hand on their head, was trying to say 'Hair'
The Doctor, having spent many years training for just such a situation suggested that child, with their hand on their head, was trying to say 'Hair'
5Ways Gull
È quello che è
When my son had just started school we were out on a family trip with the kids in the back. We were stopped at some lights and he suddenly turned to his older sister and shouted "can I snog you!!". My wife went berserk about the use of the word snog, really telling him off. When she had calmed down I turned to her and said "so it's just the use of the word snog? You're not worried about the incest aspect?"
spongy
Well-known member
We were just potty training our daughter and she was getting used to knickers. One day whilst Mrs Spongy was driving home from nursery had the following conversation...
"Mummy, I need a poo"
"It's 20 minutes until we get home home so you need to clench and hold it in"
"OK poo, stay in my bum hole".
And another on the way to nursery, there is only on street parking at her work and can't normally get a space close to work so one day, she turned into the closest road in the hope there's be a space but there wasn't. So daughter at 3 years old clear as day sat in her booster turned around and slapped her hands palms up on her knees and said
"There's never anywhere to f***ing park here" and then let out a long sigh.
I found it hilarious but also telling of Mrs Spongys language when driving
"Mummy, I need a poo"
"It's 20 minutes until we get home home so you need to clench and hold it in"
"OK poo, stay in my bum hole".
And another on the way to nursery, there is only on street parking at her work and can't normally get a space close to work so one day, she turned into the closest road in the hope there's be a space but there wasn't. So daughter at 3 years old clear as day sat in her booster turned around and slapped her hands palms up on her knees and said
"There's never anywhere to f***ing park here" and then let out a long sigh.
I found it hilarious but also telling of Mrs Spongys language when driving
FatSuperman
Well-known member
- Feb 25, 2016
- 2,922
My son, aged three or four was sitting with me in the office. I was working and he was trying to play a game where you have a headband on, with a plastic bee hanging off it. You bend down to pick up plastic marbles (it uses the magic of magnets). It's basically impossible, as the magnet connection is pathetically weak.
"f*** in sake"
"Pardon?"
"f*** in ng sake"
"Umm... I think that's... I don't like that word. Say 'fiddlesticks'"
"I carrrrrnt"
"Say oh poop poops?"
<long pause as he smiles to himself>
"OK?"
"No I'm doing f*** ing sake"
"Oh gosh"
"f*** in sake"
"Pardon?"
"f*** in ng sake"
"Umm... I think that's... I don't like that word. Say 'fiddlesticks'"
"I carrrrrnt"
"Say oh poop poops?"
<long pause as he smiles to himself>
"OK?"
"No I'm doing f*** ing sake"
"Oh gosh"
B-right-on
Living the dream
When my youngest was just starting school, so about 4-5 yo, Mrs B was dropping her off at school in the normal school rush to get to work
A parent was not being quick enough for my Mrs to drop their daughter off and move along, so my Mrs called the other parent a 'bloody idiot ' whilst in the car waiting for the space to free up.
My daughter promptly told the other child 'my mummy thinks your daddy is a bloody idiot'. The other child then told the parent that Miss B Jr's mummy thinks that you're a bloody idiot.
My Mrs was accosted by the other mum several days later and a had to do a decent amount of grovelling.
A parent was not being quick enough for my Mrs to drop their daughter off and move along, so my Mrs called the other parent a 'bloody idiot ' whilst in the car waiting for the space to free up.
My daughter promptly told the other child 'my mummy thinks your daddy is a bloody idiot'. The other child then told the parent that Miss B Jr's mummy thinks that you're a bloody idiot.
My Mrs was accosted by the other mum several days later and a had to do a decent amount of grovelling.
HastingsSeagull
Well-known member
When the Harry Potter films first came out I was teaching a highly special needs boy with autism plus, to swim. He was ‘riding on his broom’ as a warm up and then later was playing a game of Quidditch hunting under water (putting his face in let alone fully under was something he usually couldn’t do, but this was fun). Sadly instead of constantly announcing he was looking for the golden snitch as an explanation, he kept excitedly calling to everyone that he was hunting for the golden snatch! Then diving under, around and as good as through laughing and happy adult’s legs.
Nobby
Well-known member
- Sep 29, 2007
- 2,892
At Brighton races many years ago - my Mum used to take us - my Gran was into racing big time.
We used to go with my slightly elder cousin. She had a particularly loud voice.
Sometimes we would go around to the starting stalls.
One day, we were standing at the rails as the jockeys circled their mounts before being loaded into the stalls.
As one pretty famous rider circled very close to us, my Mother said - “ooh look, there’s Lester Pigott”
My cousin exclaimed loudly - “what, the man or the ‘orse”?
His face was a picture!!
We used to go with my slightly elder cousin. She had a particularly loud voice.
Sometimes we would go around to the starting stalls.
One day, we were standing at the rails as the jockeys circled their mounts before being loaded into the stalls.
As one pretty famous rider circled very close to us, my Mother said - “ooh look, there’s Lester Pigott”
My cousin exclaimed loudly - “what, the man or the ‘orse”?
His face was a picture!!
boik
Well-known member
When my sister was about 6 we were all sat round watching the football results. Suddenly she said in a loud voice "are there two Bristol's?". Took me a few years to understand why mum and dad found it so funny.
- Oct 17, 2008
- 14,493
Very young to be driving?After being cut up by another car once, my friend's 5 year old simply said 'F***ing c***.'