Things that annoy me on holiday...

[Megazone]

There really are some miserable sods on here.

The next thread should be 'Things that annoy you when your 1st child has just been born' or 'annoying things people do when helping you'

 

[happypig]

Restaurants/bars that serve shite food masquerading as exotic and cheap, watered-down beer and cocktails that have entertainment on, usually a very poor tribute artist such as "Parvinder IS Robbie Williams" and on comes a four stone Bangladeshi with a lisp who murders "Angellths" whilst middle-aged northern women reeking of Regal King Size and HRT patches hold up a lighter in their nicotine-stained fingers before ordering another round of pina-coladas and outside there's an ex-pat woman the colour of a conker squeezed into a dress three sizes too small who asks everyone "yalright love, 'ave you 'ad yer tea" and who tries to persuade you that the recently released rapist in the kitchen has got a michelin star for being able to microwave lasagna which, when it eventually turns up, is still frozen in the middle and when you finally decide you've had enough and "Robbie" launches into "She'th the vun" you give the waiter a fifty Euro note and watch him disappear, with your change, on a moped, never to be seen again.
That.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

As an aside on this thread so apologies. I've never been on an all inclusive because :

- You have to get up at 07.00 for a Sunbed.
- It's full of Russians
- The food is tasteless crap
- The walls are thin and the tossers next door make loads of noise.

Are any of the sweeping generalisations true or am I talking shite?

 

[Coldeanseagull]

My wife. 20kg allowance of which 15kg are clothes she will never wear. When on holiday, she'll buy more clothes she'll never wear and stuff them in my suitcase cos mine only contains 5kg of stuff I'm going to wear. The people she talks to have all got manc accents, the sun cream is sticky and every insect sticks to it so gets spread all over my bare, white skin. Her insistence of laying prostrate on a plastic sunbed so far from the bar, as to give my poor feet blisters and insisting I rub said black speckled sun cream onto her blistering body. The inability of also said manc tourists to learn even basic pleasantries to greet and thank the hotel staff really grinds and I find a little common courtesy goes a long way to ensuring a trouble free stay.....and help with the overweight suitcase my wife has at checkout.
The luckiness of being 'picked' for a free gift by some northern monkey on some mediterranean island if I go and watch a 20 minute presentation
It has already been mentioned, but continental breakfasts. Ham salad is lunch or dinner muchos gracias.
I have more, but I wouldn't want to spoil foreign holidays for anyone as it is all tongue in cheek

 

[Coldeanseagull]

There really are some miserable sods on here.

The next thread should be 'Things that annoy you when your 1st child has just been born' or 'annoying things people do when helping you'

I'll start. When your wife starts planning the foreign holiday and expects everybody to help carry the pram and pampers....

 

[Bob'n'weave]

Russians.

 

[The Spanish]

Restaurants/bars that serve shite food masquerading as exotic and cheap, watered-down beer and cocktails that have entertainment on, usually a very poor tribute artist such as "Parvinder IS Robbie Williams" and on comes a four stone Bangladeshi with a lisp who murders "Angellths" whilst middle-aged northern women reeking of Regal King Size and HRT patches hold up a lighter in their nicotine-stained fingers before ordering another round of pina-coladas and outside there's an ex-pat woman the colour of a conker squeezed into a dress three sizes too small who asks everyone "yalright love, 'ave you 'ad yer tea" and who tries to persuade you that the recently released rapist in the kitchen has got a michelin star for being able to microwave lasagna which, when it eventually turns up, is still frozen in the middle and when you finally decide you've had enough and "Robbie" launches into "She'th the vun" you give the waiter a fifty Euro note and watch him disappear, with your change, on a moped, never to be seen again.
That.

Someone called Parvinder is very unlikely to be Bangladeshi.

 

[Beach Hut]

Scousers of which there are numerous here:

Polite reminder YOU ARE NOT ****ING FUNNY

 

[LlcoolJ]

What sort of shit holidays do you lot go on? I'm all inclusive all the way but apart from the rude Russians I recognise none of these gripes.

 

[Tokyohands]

People who compare everything to stuff at home.

 

[Notters]

As an aside on this thread so apologies. I've never been on an all inclusive because :

- You have to get up at 07.00 for a Sunbed.
- It's full of Russians
- The food is tasteless crap
- The walls are thin and the tossers next door make loads of noise.

Are any of the sweeping generalisations true or am I talking shite?

We did it once (though supposedly at a top end place) to see what the fuss was about and that about sums it up.

 

[Blue3]

Airports. The older and grumpier I get, when holidays don't have to start and finish at one, they are much improved.

At least people seem to have stopped clapping when the plane lands now...never understood that.

Loads of clapping upon landing on our last flight in July again not sure why

 

[Chicken Run]

Parents with out of control children.

I've never understood why anyone would take a baby/toddler on a flight, I look at some parents who have gone down this foolish evolution after a flight and they look like they need rehab, all before holiday.

Can't they wait for four years ( child can feed itself on plane)before they waist their hard earned cash in what will be a shit holiday for them!

 

[dazzer6666]

As an aside on this thread so apologies. I've never been on an all inclusive because :

- You have to get up at 07.00 for a Sunbed.
- It's full of Russians
- The food is tasteless crap
- The walls are thin and the tossers next door make loads of noise.

Are any of the sweeping generalisations true or am I talking shite?

True of some, choose your destination.........one we've just been to had no Russians, loads of sunbeds (no problem getting them any time of day) and very good food. Suites were new and no noise from next door [emoji106][emoji106]

 

[el punal]

Stuck in hotel waiting for tropical storm Franklin to abate, I'm getting quite grumpy due to old age.

- tattoos
- people eating in the restaurants whilst wearing baseball caps
- anyone smoking near me
- Americans talking s***e very loudly
- grown men (all Brits) wearing football kits
- failure to have signed a striker before now

You should have gone to Butlins at Bognor . . . . . oh, you did?

 

[Commander]

Restaurants/bars that serve shite food masquerading as exotic and cheap, watered-down beer and cocktails that have entertainment on, usually a very poor tribute artist such as "Parvinder IS Robbie Williams" and on comes a four stone Bangladeshi with a lisp who murders "Angellths" whilst middle-aged northern women reeking of Regal King Size and HRT patches hold up a lighter in their nicotine-stained fingers before ordering another round of pina-coladas and outside there's an ex-pat woman the colour of a conker squeezed into a dress three sizes too small who asks everyone "yalright love, 'ave you 'ad yer tea" and who tries to persuade you that the recently released rapist in the kitchen has got a michelin star for being able to microwave lasagna which, when it eventually turns up, is still frozen in the middle and when you finally decide you've had enough and "Robbie" launches into "She'th the vun" you give the waiter a fifty Euro note and watch him disappear, with your change, on a moped, never to be seen again.
That.

Have you ever thought of holidaying somewhere different?

 

[Commander]

I've never understood why anyone would take a baby/toddler on a flight, I look at some parents who have gone down this foolish evolution after a flight and they look like they need rehab, all before holiday.

Can't they wait for four years ( child can feed itself on plane)before they waist their hard earned cash in what will be a shit holiday for them!

To be fair it's not that hard, a couple of hours is fine. Can't understand people who go long haul with toddlers though, what's the point? The kid won't know any difference about the destination and the resulting jet lagged toddler is going to ruin not only your holiday, but your first few days back home as well.

 

[knocky1]

Big groups of ramblers.
Typhoons from Indian Ocean creating rainfall and snow, outside the monsoon, in the Himalayas.
Earthquakes.
Getting altitude sickness.
Temperature above 16 degrees.
No Russian chavs to moan about.

 

[Return of the Rev]

Had two days in Bradford on Avon. Very nice no Russians and a short trip to Bath. A lovely time and nothing to moan about at all.

 

[Chicken Run]

To be fair it's not that hard, a couple of hours is fine. Can't understand people who go long haul with toddlers though, what's the point? The kid won't know any difference about the destination and the resulting jet lagged toddler is going to ruin not only your holiday, but your first few days back home as well.

My wife is ex Virgin cabin crew and she could never understand the sheer numbers of people on the Orlando flight clearly heading to Disney World with toddlers, what a waist of money! The rows she witnessed between parents over who's turn it was for the kid on the lap and tour of duty round the plane.