Things I've never done

[B.M.F]

Now if you'd have said cad or bounder you'd be correct

Not heard that saying for years I am guessing gutter snipe is a tad to harsh

 

[rospants]

Kangaroo. Certainly not a Spaniel.

on im a celebrity tonight, they are eating kangaroo anus as part of the trial

 

[bhaexpress]

Not heard that saying for years I am guessing gutter snipe is a tad to harsh

Gutter Snipe ! One of my late mother's favourite expressions, slightly dated I agree but so much more informative than 'chav' or 'wanker' !

 

[Barrel of Fun]

on im a celebrity tonight, they are eating kangaroo anus as part of the trial

Attached?!

 

[goldstone]

Some more:

Never voted Labour

Never smoked a cigarette ... or even taken a drag

Never taken an illegal substance

Never joined the Boy Scouts

Never been to a church service ... except marriages or funerals

 

[surrey jim]

I have never

Swam the channel
Been north of Sunderland
owned a property
Crashed a car/had a speeding ticket

 

[Man of Harveys]

Attached?!

No, I think they're probably still single.

 

[crasher]

I have never

been to Spain
taken cocaine
voted Conservative
read anything by Marcel Proust

 

[aftershavedave]

never watched coronation street, emmerdale or hollyoaks

never watched the x-factor

never seen a star wars movie, or lord of the rings or harry potter

never eaten a slimmers sandwich from boots

never drunk an alcopop

 

[Man of Harveys]

never drunk an alcopop

Is that true? What about YORK AWAY a few years back?

 

[aftershavedave]

Is that true? What about YORK AWAY a few years back?

i don't remember an alcopop do you?

 

[Man of Harveys]

i don't remember an alcopop do you?

You were telling me about some SWEET STICKY RED DRINK that you were drinking the night before

(actually, that might have been Aftershock - I guess that's not an alcopop - sincere apologies sir. And come to the pub tonight with the wee fella and Gluteus Maximus :clique

 

[aftershavedave]

You were telling me about some SWEET STICKY RED DRINK that you were drinking the night before

(actually, that might have been Aftershock - I guess that's not an alcopop - sincere apologies sir. And come to the pub tonight with the wee fella and Gluteus Maximus :clique

it was indeed aftershock. tasted like a mouthful of rancid piss.

(no can do on the pub front...madame afters v tired at the mo)

 

[scooter1]

Never had gay, dead or animal sex.... Never say never to anything else

 

[Uncle Buck]

Never started a decent thread.

 

[scooter1]

Depends how long they've been dead I guess....

 

[gwpdylan]

on a sporting front

Never scored a 50 (run out for 49)

Never ever hit 180 in darts

until last season i had never bowled a 5 for! then what happens? i get 6-18 and next week 5-12

so theres always a chance i guess, this seaon coming i must get that 50

 

[scooter1]

Yeah I was thinking that. If they have only just died, and are reasonably fit, then I guess that would take the honour.

1) DEAD - dependant on time of death, as well as the retaining of vital features.

2) GAY - At least it's vaguely normal, and you can try and pretend it's a woman with your eyes closed.

3) ANIMAL - the enjoyment on this would vary depending on which animal was in the chair, ranging from midly arousing to frankly foul.

What order are you going for, Scooter?

I guess its 1, 2, 3 - assuming that:
1,she's still warm(and fit)
2, I guess gay sex is just hairy anal sex
3, they're all fuckin nasty, but this has gotta be the worst??