There are some right berks on this planet

[Easy 10]

"Lets run it up the flagpole and see who salutes"
"We want to see a win/win situation"
"We need some thinking outside the box here"
"I want you to baste my scrotum with cottage cheese"

 

[Simster]

If you'd just take a brief scuba in my thinktank, you'd see that by looking at the whole piece of the pie rather than the resource sector in which you participate, you'd see it's all part of the bigger picture, and maybe just a bit of team focus management could be the ticket here.
Rightsizing is nothing to be afraid of - its efficiency through people in diversity. Resource management, squaring the circle, call it what you will - but it must be done together as its together that this org will succeed. Never forget, "organise" is part of organisation (nearly).







:Strokes Ponytail:

 

[Westdene Seagull]

I have heard American Senators use the phrase 'herding cats'. I am guessing that is similar to 'lassooing the kangaroo'. In other words, utter bollocks.

And what is 'thinking outside the box'. Does that mean Leon only thinks to go down once he's inside?

Herding cats was a well known advert by my previous employer. They seemed to be very proud of it and thought it meant they could run projects and systems regardless of the size and complexity.

The reality was rather different.

 

[The Large One]

"Lets run it up the flagpole and see who salutes"
"We want to see a win/win situation"
"We need some thinking outside the box here"
"I want you to baste my scrotum with cottage cheese"

That last one was interesting, but the first three were just made-up nonsense, Easy.

 

[Simster]

My lovely employer has just taken on a new American sales manager from Bloomberg. He has on his office wall a massive poster of a rowing boat crew with the word "TOGETHER" at the bottom...which is all very nice, apart from the fact that the bloke can't actually be arsed to come over and bother to meet any of his editorial colleagues. What a turd.

Go an replace that poster with this little beauty.


http://airjudden.tripod.com/funnystuff/funnyposterignorance.htm

 

[Granny Goodchild]

Try this:-

HOW TO STAY AWAKE AT MEETINGS - A New version of Bingo


1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square, [5"x 5" is a good size]. Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That will give you 25 one inch blocks.


2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* synergy

* strategic fit

* core competencies

* best practice

* bottom line

* revisit

* take that off-line

* 24/7

* out of the loop

* benchmark

* value-added

* pro-active

* win-win

* think outside the box

* fast track

* result-driven

* empower (or empowerment)

* knowledge base

* at the end of the day

* touch base

* mind-set

* client focus(ed)

* paradigm

* game plan

* leverage


and last but not least

MOVING FORWARD......


3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.


4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,

stand up and shout, "BULLS**T!"

............................................................................................

Testimonials from satisfied "Bulls**t Bingo" players:


"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."

-Paul D., Caloundra


"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

- David D., Rockhampton


"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Sydney


"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLS**t!' for the third time in two hours."- Kathy

 

[maffew]

you've gotta point to the whiteboard and write
"ASSUME"

and then say
"and you make an ASS out of U and ME"

emphasizing the U and ME

 

[caz99]

Just looking at my work calendar for October, I am reminded of one of our vision statements:

Our vision for people - access to quality legal services - making it possible through people.

I went to a Plain English Campaign course a couple of weeks ago and the trainer went off on one when some girl on the course mentioned their 'stakeholders' and being 'proactive'. He also wasn't a big fan of blue sky thinking.

And if someone can explain what squaring the circle means I would be very grateful. People round here use it all the time.

that sounds like one of ours where do you work?

 

[looney]

Ive been asked to help set up a management training course. I have been told I cant use the word "Economics". I will calmly walk away from this thread now before I blow up like Krakatowa.

 

[Barnet Seagull]

imagineering.

 

[looney]

Try this:-

HOW TO STAY AWAKE AT MEETINGS - A New version of Bingo


1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square, [5"x 5" is a good size]. Divide the card into columns, five across and five down. That will give you 25 one inch blocks.


2. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* synergy

* strategic fit

* core competencies

* best practice

* bottom line

* revisit

* take that off-line

* 24/7

* out of the loop

* benchmark

* value-added

* pro-active

* win-win

* think outside the box

* fast track

* result-driven

* empower (or empowerment)

* knowledge base

* at the end of the day

* touch base

* mind-set

* client focus(ed)

* paradigm

* game plan

* leverage


and last but not least

MOVING FORWARD......


3. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.


4. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally,

stand up and shout, "BULLS**T!"

............................................................................................

Testimonials from satisfied "Bulls**t Bingo" players:


"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."

-Paul D., Caloundra


"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."

- David D., Rockhampton


"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box." - Ben G., Sydney


"The speaker was stunned as eight of us screamed 'BULLS**t!' for the third time in two hours."- Kathy

Thats going in the f***ing course.