The worst musical instrument ever

[GT49er]

Kathryn Tickell, playing the Northumbrian Small Pipes - as you say, a quite different instrument from the Highland Pipes.

He said similar - that's almost the complete opposite of quite different.

 

[GT49er]

Bagpipes? - I love 'em! (there might have to be some serious changes on NSC if and when Jockophobia becomes illegal!) - and Northumbrian pipes too. The recorder can sound nice when played properly (fast or slow) but admit that doesn't happen very often.

On the bad side, agree that Ukuleles are an unwanted excrescence, and the triangle and the jews harp are at best rather boring, especially if playing solo.

But for overwhelmingly worst ever instrument of all time....I give you......







The VUVUZELA!

 

[Lady Whistledown]

When I were a lad, there was a cupboard at school where the chosen few were allowed to select an instrument to accompany the hymns in assembly. If you were first in, you got to select the best instrument. Sorry, HT, but that tended to be the bongos or the tambourine with the drum skin. If you were last in, you normally got lumbered with the triangle or this sort of wooden stick thing with metal ball-bearings that you would move around to create some kind of awful metal on metal scraping noise. I still hear that sound in my nightmares. "Jubilate," SCRAPE SCRAPE SCRAPE, "Everybody..."

I used to nab the glockenspiel or the xylophone. Like you say: to be given the triangle is pretty much the ultimate musical instrument.

I couldn't read music, by the way. I just joined the orchestra as it meant you didn't have to go to hymn practice with the rest of the school and recite Morning has BROOOOOO-KEN a hundred times per week.

 

[BlockDpete]

Cycling the other week up top of Firle Beacon as it was getting dark - Came across a bagpiper making a racket on his own - says it all really when you have to practice in the middle of nowhere!!!!

Could be the chap that plays at the top of the first hill of the Beachy Head Marathon. Always sounds quite evocative to me.

 

[Dr Q]

A theramin

or recorder, especially played at length by a small child to the point of dribble coming out the bottom end ... errggh

I love the sounds of bagpipes in massed pipes and drums.

 

[BlockDpete]

Tinny phone speakers, as used on public transport.

Well, they play music, don't they?

 

[Blue3]

Bag pipes

Got to be this awful sound

 

[theboybilly]

Harmonica, as played by (or in the style of) Larry Adler. Music to slit your wrists to

 

[Eric Potts]

I would also like to add the pedal steel guitar , particularly in the context of country music. A soul-sapping experience to have to listen to.

 

[Razzoo]

Pedal steels are amazing, I believe that this is the "winner"

 

[GT49er]

Pedal steels are amazing, I believe that this is the "winner"

Nowhere near - far too melodic - this every time: the Vuvuzela.
View attachment 59775

 

[AmexRuislip]

http://youtu.be/zPY-bliiTKM

 

[GT49er]

No, this thread is about the worst musical instrument, not the worst way to play one (though that particular recorder is now the worst second hand recorder in the world if you're looking to buy one).

 

[Lord Bracknell]

He said similar - that's almost the complete opposite of quite different.

I'll stick with the Northumbrian Pipes being quite different from the Highland Pipes. You have to blow the Highland Pipes. You can't blow the Northumbrian Pipes.

 

[brakespear]

This has got to be one of the pieces.

Sorry, no. Although I don't actively dislike them The Stranglers are just one of those type of bands for me that you can never really see why people like them so much.

I'm not even going down the JS Bach road for fear of seeming pretentious. But I couldn't imagine either this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j0I2ZrBuFdQ

...or even better, this utterly magical piece of music:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FG-ZO26pnE8

...any other way. The harpsichord rocks.

ALso no, sorry, although they are both well-written pieces of music. The only Bach I know of that I like is played on a big old church organ (if it's the same Bach and not one of the relatives)

 

[Ken Livingstone Seagull]

I would have to go along with this. After all it's really just a small, cheap, tinny-sounding toy guitar with a tiny fraction of the guitar's dynamic or expressive range - something which might be excusable when real guitars were still quite expensive but that's far from the case these days. Although...I do love the song Ram On by McCartney which features it prominently.

Oh Harveys how could you? The ukulele is a brilliant instrument as any habitué of Hawaii will tell you. Youtube Braddah Iz or Jake Shimabukuru and you'll witness virtuosity at work.

No. My vote is the Sackbutt. Brilliant name, awful din.

 

[Man of Harveys]

Oh Harveys how could you? The ukulele is a brilliant instrument as any habitué of Hawaii will tell you. Youtube Braddah Iz or Jake Shimabukuru and you'll witness virtuosity at work.

Lend me that unicycle for some rapid backpedalling, will you?...OK I certainly think that actual Hawaiians should probably be exempt, as well as any George Formby enthusiasts who can't afford banjoleles. And I will certainly check out the artists you've mentioned - my disdain is more about this trendy nonsense where people are just using tinny little ukuleles instead of guitars. Aloha, clique buddy.

 

[Garage_Doors]

Does the wobble board count as an instrument.

 

[Prince Monolulu]

My wife has intimated on several occasions that playing the rusty trombone makes her feel totally nauseous and she finds it totally abhorrent.

 

[Ceej]