The unwanted breakfast

[Nibble]

Got up especially early today to head down to my local café where no-one speaks to me because I read the Guardian and none of them can read. I was so looking forward to my personal favourite breakfast made up of individual items, Bubble and Squeak, Sausage, poached egg and beans with a mug of tea and a strawberry milkshake. I'm healthy ****er so this is my once a month treat. They hate me making up my own breakfast, they have a certain greasy spoon etiquette I enjoy ignoring, yet they grudgingly serve me. I think it's because I only go in once a month I'm not a regular and i'm quite unlikeable.

Anyway, my difficult breakfast order was slapped down in front of me. Despite eating it once a month for a few months now, and always looking forward to it, the minute it was in front of me I lost all my appetite. Couldn't touch it. Why? Have I turned?

Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone give a toss? Will I get a "Cool Story Bro" pic posted.

Strange though ain't it.

 

[rool]

where no-one speaks to me because I read the Guardian and none of them can read.

When I was 18/19 and a trainee accountant I remember being quite patronising to the tradesmen types who frequent the greasy spoons despite coming from pretty much the same background as them. Until one day in a pub one such oik challenged me to some mathematical dueling and pretty much whooped my arse. I have never made the same mistake since.

Were you wearing a cravat?

 

[Icy Gull]

Sounds like you have pissed the staff off to such a degree that your breakfast was dealt rather than served, always a good way to put someone off their meal. Did the beans spill over the edge of the plate as they dealt it?

 

[gripper stebson]

Got up especially early today to head down to my local café where no-one speaks to me because I read the Guardian and none of them can read. I was so looking forward to my personal favourite breakfast made up of individual items, Bubble and Squeak, Sausage, poached egg and beans with a mug of tea and a strawberry milkshake. I'm healthy ****er so this is my once a month treat. They hate me making up my own breakfast, they have a certain greasy spoon etiquette I enjoy ignoring, yet they grudgingly serve me. I think it's because I only go in once a month I'm not a regular and i'm quite unlikeable.

Anyway, my difficult breakfast order was slapped down in front of me. Despite eating it once a month for a few months now, and always looking forward to it, the minute it was in front of me I lost all my appetite. Couldn't touch it. Why? Have I turned?

Does this happen to anyone else? Does anyone give a toss? Will I get a "Cool Story Bro" pic posted.

Strange though ain't it.

I am largely bored by the story mate but am happy to confirm the highlighted area.

 

[The Modfather]

A Guardian reader slumming it in a greasy spoon eh? whatever next

 

[Nibble]

I think what it is, is that it's run by about 5 Ukranian men and one woman. The men sit around talking to the regulars and drinking black tea while the one woman is run ragged. I'm quite pleasant to her and whenever I talk to her to say even just thanks the men give me daggers. I'm not au fait with Ukranian breakfast etiquette whereas icy Gull above is clearly a man of the people. I think it's the monocle that puzzles them most.

 

[MattBackHome]

Strawberry milkshake?

 

[Nibble]

I am largely bored by the story mate but am happy to confirm the highlighted area.

You're just flirting with me.

 

[User removed 4]

I think what it is, is that it's run by about 5 Ukranian men and one woman. The men sit around talking to the regulars and drinking black tea while the one woman is run ragged. I'm quite pleasant to her and whenever I talk to her to say even just thanks the men give me daggers. I'm not au fait with Ukranian breakfast etiquette whereas icy Gull above is clearly a man of the people. I think it's the monocle that puzzles them most.

who gives a fvck what ukrainian etiquette is , you're in england .

 

[Nibble]

And when I say they cannot read. I'm not being rude or pompous. Only two of them can read. The others have large cheat cards with symbols representing the menu items pinned above the griddle.

 

[Nibble]

who gives a fvck what ukrainian etiquette is , you're in england .

Well, ever since my military boarding school days I'm not a big talker at breakfast. In fact talking at breakfast was actively frowned upon as it still is at a Navy breakfast. I will happily exchange pleasantries but I like to be left to read my paper and eat my scran in peace at 8am. The only other breakfast option near mine is Subway so it's this café or nowt. I manage to get on everywhere else except this place. Nice bubble normally though.

 

[jamie (not that one)]

who gives a fvck what ukrainian etiquette is , you're in england .

Daily Mail reader then?

 

[Beach Hut]

Had a BA breakfast this morning on a flight to Glasgow and not bad all things considered.

 

[W.C.]

who gives a fvck what ukrainian etiquette is , you're in england .

lordy, please please tell me you're joking??

Even with your 'AN NSC POST MAY HAVE MALIGNED THE ENGLISH' siren perched atop your computer it surely didn't light up for this 'comic' thread?

 

[smeariestbat]

i quite enjoyed your post, and i too have had this happen fairly recently with a monster burger, of which i shall post the picture:

and because you asked for it

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

Had a BA breakfast this morning on a flight to Glasgow and not bad all things considered.

I get a free buffet breakfast at my co-working space on Thursdays. I go for a huge run before hand, shower and then STUFF myself.

 

[Diego Napier]

Probably a good thing that you couldn't touch it.

We don't like you in our cafe (we can't stand anyone who can read, let alone read the Guardian) and we always have a dip around in your meal before you get it. If you keep coming back we'll make sure you milkshake is really jizzed up.

 

[Nibble]

i quite enjoyed your post, and i too have had this happen fairly recently with a monster burger, of which i shall post the picture:View attachment 47080

and because you asked for it
View attachment 47081

Haha! Hells teeth, I would have to do a Tubthumper and run beforehand. That's a mother.

 

[smeariestbat]

Haha! Hells teeth, I would have to do a Tubthumper and run beforehand. That's a mother.

thats also the single, you can get a double or even a triple!!!

 

[Nibble]

I am used to eating breakfast with lots of people in my job but mostly it's a quiet affair and there's plenty of it. The job I'm on now breakfast is bonkers, fresh pancakes, blueberries, in fact any fruit you want, eggs, bacon, well the list is endless. The last job was equally good except the yanks kept playing really loud music throughout until someone walked over and closed their laptop.

This is England my friend, breakfast is taken in silence with half drawn curtains, perhaps the odd "tut" as Father reads the times or a distant, chiming church bell.