The Penis... ...mightier than the sword?

[The Andy Naylor Fan Club]

This is a football forum after all.....so may I suggest Keepy uppy.

By the way, spare a thought for this poor unfortunate.

 

[withdeanwombat]

You'll never make a sailor.

 

[The Clamp]

Hello.
I am looking for some advice from the sages of NSC.

I spent this glorious spring day in the garden, painting the chicken run woodwork with Ronseal weatherproofing in the shade of Seagrass, A colour that I found happily matches almost perfectly the compost bin. Having completed two coats I went indoors for a shower and shave before retiring to The Stanley for some well-earned reward.

As is my usual practice, while having my second "thorough" shave of the seven day period, I was astonished to notice that I had very suddenly developed the ball sack of an old man. There they swung, a full inch and a half lower than they had on Wednesday. My scrotum was descending faster that the lift in a Tokyo Hotel.

Is this normal I ask?

Is it some kind of second adolescence that I had not previously been made aware of? Will my voice adopt an even lower register than it does currently? Perhaps, by the morning I will be a nicely rounded tenor, people may well stop me in the street for a bit of Nessun Dorma, while waiting for the bus.

It's very unsettling you know, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror of the cabinet door whilst stepping into the shower, and noticing that you are doing a passable impression of the "last turkey in the shop."

Any helpful comments would be appreciated.

Thanks for taking the time to read this.
I await an explanation at your pleasure.

What a ****ing stupid thread. Honestly. Grow up.

 

[burnee54]

You'll never make a sailor.

Never make a sailor do what?