The One Show. Irresponsible TV.

[Gazwag]

f***ing chiles

I thought Christina had stopped that now

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

 

[Couldn't Be Hyypia]

 

[Perry Milkins]

You need:

A mask
A horizontal striped sweater (black and white usually)
Gloves
A crowbar
And a bag with "SWAG" written on it

Find an open window and bobs your uncle, use crowbar if not wide enough or if you need to force a front door.

tsk tsk..you forgot the background music 'dump dump dump dump..derrrrr..dump dump dump dump dump.

and you have to creep very furtively lifting each knee up really high before placing your foot on the ground.

 

[strings]

One hammer, one nail.

Hit nail (with hammer) into the corner of the glass part of the patio windows, resulting in glass shattering. One quick and easy method of entry - if you put a brick or shovel through it won't always shatter, resulting in potential injury.

Maybe I should move from my current job in admin and go for a life of crime...

 

[BRIGHT ON Q]

I though exactly the same.I think it was irresponsible too.

 

[Easy 10]

My place was a mess before it got burgled (/QUOTE]

Nice of them to tidy up before they left then

 

[CHAPPERS]

I like that bird of the one show.

Mmmm.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

I like that bird of the one show.

Mmmm.

Evidently not as much as Chiles does.

HOW did he do that?? He's a funny guy (better on MOTD than Lineker, by a mile), but he looks like a bear.

 

[bigc]

Dover, I take it you never saw the show on BBC1...BEAT THE BURGLAR?

Daytime fare from about 2005 I think? Showed an ex-con breaking into peoples houses who'd volunteered to go on the show, thus demonstrating how easy it was.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

And don't forget Police Camera Action, which, week after week after week, shows people driving really badly, sometimes in stolen cars.

Hmmm, that gives me an idea. I think I'll go out and drive like a twat right NOW.

 

[The Spanish]

Dover, I take it you never saw the show on BBC1...BEAT THE BURGLAR?

Daytime fare from about 2005 I think? Showed an ex-con breaking into peoples houses who'd volunteered to go on the show, thus demonstrating how easy it was.

that was funny as f*** that programme (queue 8 billion posts on how i was burgled and how traumatic it was, thats not the point, the oh that happened to me you cant laugh at that boring brigade). People put themselves up for some prick to smash their house to bits on telly and then be told they should have locks on their windows. attention seeking cnts.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

that was funny as f*** that programme (queue 8 billion posts on how i was burgled and how traumatic it was, thats not the point, the oh that happened to me you cant laugh at that boring brigade). People put themselves up for some prick to smash their house to bits on telly and then be told they should have locks on their windows. attention seeking cnts.

The best one was a family who had a fairly large dog of some description. They confidently told the presenter that, even if the "burglar" managed to get past their window locks and alarm, he would end up being savaged by Rover at his most territorial.

Imagine the looks on their faces when the burglar casually walks in: not only does Rover fail to bite the bloke, but he doesn't even bark, instead following the bloke around attentively, licking his hand, and then allowing the felon to attach a lead and walk him out of the house along with the swag.

Bloody brilliant

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Evidently not as much as Chiles does.

HOW did he do that?? He's a funny guy (better on MOTD than Lineker, by a mile), but he looks like a bear.

Quite. How DOES a squashed-headed dullard get to earn millions from the Beeb through being not much more than a plain-talking Brummie with a barely-developed sense of humour. Does the Beeb get a Regional Accent Grant from the EU or something? Same question re the grinning Oirish no-mark lay-dee.