The NSC thread of useful advice from SONGS

[BBassic]

Don't whizz on the electric fence.

 

[SittingbourneSeagull]

Roll away the stone

 

[El Presidente]

If you don't want to **** me baby, **** off.


Sent from your mum using Tapatalk

 

[pearl]

Some of these posts aren't exactly...advice...are they?

sit down, shut up

 

[ManOfSussex]

Would Des Lynam reading Sir Rudyard Kipling's 'If' to the tune of Faure's Pavane count as a song?

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: 'Hold on!'

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
' Or walk with Kings - nor lose the common touch,
if neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man, my son!

 

[LlcoolJ]

"Everwhere we go they say [damn!]
N W A's ****in' up tha program
And then you realize we don't care
We don't just say no, we to busy sayin' yeah!
About drinkin' straight out the eight bottle
Do I look like a mutha ****in role model?
To a kid lookin' up ta me
Life ain't nothin but bitches and money"

Sound advice from Mr I Cube of the popular beat combo NWA.

Or alternatively...

"F#ck the police"

 

[Nathan]

Well I'm not the world's most masculine man
But I know what I am and I'm glad I'm a man
And so is Lola

 

[ManOfSussex]

When you're in love with a beautiful woman, it's hard.

 

[El Presidente]

Don't be told what you want
Don't be told what you need
There's no future, no future, no future for YOU

 

[Diego Napier]

You may be a sharp dresser, you may be a fantastic dancer, you may be a lively conversationalist, but what happens at the end of the evening when the time comes to show how you feel? unless you kiss with confidence all your fancy dressing, dancing and talking won't get you a second date.

I'd meet a boy I really liked, I'd start to win his heart
Come the time to kiss good-night, I always fell apart

I'd giggle like I had no brains or else I'd start to cough
I thought my perspiration stains would turn a fellow off

She was nervous, she was too shy
She was breathless, lips were too dry
Hands were shaking, didn't know why

Do you want to kiss this person? Then be honest - what is keeping you from kissing with confidence? Worries. Some of them can be put to rest if you ask yourself a few simple questions before kissing.

Is your breath fresh? Do you have spinach on your teeth? Is your deodorant strong enough?

You may also find yourself worrying about what will happen once you are in the act of kissing. will your stomach growl? will your braces lock? will you be able to prolong the kiss and still breathe?

Will I spoil it with my overbite? Will our noses bump in the moonlight? When our lips meet, will they fit right?

These worries are best cleared from the mind by the romance chant method, a technique which will also place your lips naturally in kissing position. hableme el unico del mundo. digame: como te hace ese sonido. tan glorioso. que aun ahora con anticipation de el. me ha reducio a un bestia. grunedo. entusiomandose y palpitando. practice this chant in the morning as you rise, in the evening as you retire and just before a date.

Once you have mastered these techniques there is only one worry left - will it go too far? it never will if you remain alert to these danger signals - heavy breathing, wandering hands, strong heartbeats. a nice way to maintain self-control without offending the other person is to say -- "i'm not ready to handle what I think is coming", then you both go home and daydream. tomorrow you can start again fresh. just remember - you cannot get pregnant from kissing.

I put an end to worrying, I learned the way from will
And showed me kissing with confidence was an acquired skill
When my boyfriends get too hot I can cool 'em down
Now I'm kissing with confidence everywhere in town

In the schoolyard, at the front door, in the laundromat, at the drug store, at the car wash, in the back yard, at the dairy queen, on a side street, in the basement, on the rooftop, at the drive in, at the stop and shop, on the back porch, at the candy store, on the boardwalk, by the seashore, on the balcony, in the malt shop, in the parking lot, on the blacktop

Once you can kiss with confidence, think of others these techniques will help. do you know someone who drools when he kisses or burps or bites? why not do them a favour and send them this record anonymously?

 

[El Presidente]

Five minutes
And you're almost there

 

[pearl]

i'm a wanker

 

[1066familyman]

A good Idren is better than a pocketful of dunza.

 

[Gwylan]

Don't follow leaders

 

[ManOfSussex]

Don't let your indecision take you from behind, trust your inner vision, don't let others change your mind.

 

[Canfan]

Never trust a man in a blue trench-coat.
Never drive a car when you're dead.

 

[tonyt]

Agadoo doo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree.....

 

[Buzzer]

Get born, get school, get job, get car
Pay tax and find a wife
And on that note the end can't come too soon
If you're not living on the edge you take up too much room

 

[Dr. Notthenineo'clocknews]

Never trust a man (with egg on his face)

 

[Gullflyinghigh]

If music be the food of love, play on, but I'm really too hungry for just one song