Just as Kuipers retracted his now unrepairable finger from Kerry's Bunsen burner, a man on a tricycle with a clipboard and a fat TV sales man appeared each with copies of The Big Issue and the later with a bin bag full of old television remotes.
Meanwhile, back across town, Bobby was sliding the last silver bullet into the chamber of his Colt 45, shivering at the thought of the job before him - John Terry was a Werewolf and tonight was a full moon.
In summary, Bobby's mission was two-fold:
1. to prise Dirty Terry's fingers from pies that were stickier than the stickiest sticky things (eg. deep filled treacle tarts).
2. to make the England squad before the sun went down.
He called up his old pal, Lee Steele on his blue Samsung 2E90044DDi flip phone. Lee answered after one ring and said...
Meanwhile, on the other side of town in a Lower East Side flophouse, a hopped-up, strung-out William Burroughs, seeking to overturn conventions of narrative, plot and general good taste in his bid to join the ranks of the literary immortals, placed an exceedingly small mandarin on the head of the quivering Archer and cocked the trigger of his pearl-handled .38........