[Albion] The newest member of the Brighton fan club....

[B-right-on]

Congratulations on the safe arrival of your daughter.
I have two of a similar age (5 and 8 months). I fully empathise with what your saying, not long ago I was in the same sort of situation. You become consumed by the sense that you SHOULD own your home, otherwise you have failed your kids. But that’s not the case.
I won’t patronise you with “it’ll all be alright” slogans, and I don’t have any answers. But I understand what’s going on for you.

This. Its easy for me to say bcs I have my own house, but I know friends who don't. Some, like you, are stressed about owing their own home and think that they have failed bcs they don't.

Others just accept renting is the way they'll be and live their lives, go on holidays etc.. And just be the best parents they can be.

 

[Coldeanseagull]

Congrats to those who will not sleep ever again!
Kids are fantastic when they are kids, so enjoy them now. When they hit puberty they are horrid! Any other problems are trivial compared to what you'll go through.
My girls are 24 and 27, they're just about bearable now. Grandkids are better, you get to give them back when they piss you off

 

[Thunder Bolt]

Congratulations to both Dads on this thread, spongy and Jimmehh. You both sound like very caring dads and that's what children need more than anything else.

 

[madinthehead]

Firstly congrats!
Second breathe...
Thirdly your ability to buy a house and being the best parent possible have nothing to do with each other. The fact that your sleep deprived, emotionally drained self is havin hese doubts/ thoughts make me think your heart is in he right place and that is half the battle.
Try to enjoy the next few months and enjoy all the new born baby things.
One step at a time with everything else.
Good luck!

 

[Mayonaise]

My kids are all grown up now. I spent all their childhood working so I had enough money to buy them 'stuff' but didn't spend the time with them as was always knackered.

Buying them things didn't make me a better father - spend time with your kids, read to them, play with them - even when you don't feel like it. I wish I had!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Congratulations [MENTION=20792]spongy[/MENTION] on your new baby Junior Seagull, Charlotte Elizabeth. Top work! I know your mind must be racing right now, but at least allow yourself the luxury of savouring the moment with your new baby daughter. Plenty of time to do the maths in the future. But not now. And there will always be plenty of decent practical advice from decent practical people on NSC if you ever feel you're really up against it.

 

[spongy]

Thankyou everyone. Currently back at hospital visiting with no1 in tow to have a proper introduction.

Shes a very proud big sister!

Cant stay as long as I want to as shes been here an hour and getting fidgety already so off swimming for a few hours and I'll come back later.

No jealousy yet but theres plenty of time for that to change!

My mind is a bit clearer today so more optimistic.

I shall deal with other issues later, think I was just over tired and emotional yesterday.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Little Ms Spongy no2 arrived today at 12.26pm weighing a surprisingly small 6lb 14oz.

Mrs Spongy and Charlotte Elizabeth are doing great after a quick labour.

But I'm feeling a bit empty and lost right now.

Mrs Spongy had gestational diabetes with this one so the pregnancy has been a tad complicated. The decision was made a month ago to induce labour yesterday 2 weeks early.

Yesterday we turned up and I was probably somewhat naive thinking baby would be born yesterday. The induction started at 11.50am and after a good 10 hours of agony (and no full labour) the midwife gave Mrs Spongy a shot of pethadine to help.

It made Mrs Spongy a lot more comfortable so she (and I) could and rest but it also stopped the labour.

After 24 hours of being awake watching her whilst she slept her mum turned up and I took the time to shoot home, shower, get some stuff ready at home and head back.

I got back to hospital 2 hours later at 10.45. Proper contractions started at 11.00. Mrs Spongy s dreaming for epidural and anaesthethetists, but went from 2cm to 5cm in next to no time, by the time he arrived, put the canulars in and told us the dangers she was over 8cm and it was too late.

Charlotte Elizabeth Spongy was born at 12.26pm. After 9 pushes, in one go, no messing about.

I've spent the last few hours trying to digest what's just happened with parents and family visiting etc and have no idea what the **** iis going on.

Ms Spongy no1 is over the moon and beaming about being a big sister, my parents took her home after the visit in floods of tears be cause she didnt want to leave us but we couldnt let her stay as being 4 years old she be climbing the walls after an hour.

Shes staying at nana and grandads tonight,

I've just returned home after being told to have a good nights sleep by Mrs Spongy as shes going to be kept in for 3 days for checks due to the diabetes.

So I'm sitting at home now with a can of cider. Alone. And I feel lost, I've been awake since 5.30 yesterday. I should sleep but I cant, I've got so much running through my head.

Some of you may have my post recently on the housing thread and it's all I can think about now.

I'm now 40, with 2 kids, and still renting be cause I cant afford to buy. I cant afford to save now either.

Little ms spongy1 goes to school where we used to live. But if we cant move back there todays arrival wont get a place there. Do I now accept I'll never make it back there? Do we pull no1 out to a school nearer to us now to guarantee a place for no2 where we now are? But theres no guarantee our landlord will want us to stay where we are now in 3 years when it's time to apply for a place at school.

I've always told myself that the LEAST I should do is provide for my children the same quality and security that my parents provided for me.

Right now I'm not doing that. So am I failing? My friends tell me I'm a good dad to my children, and I think I am, no1 is a very happy, intelligent and independent (much to my annoyance, I fed up of arguing and being beaten in an argument by 4 year old logic)

But other important things such as stability I cant provide, I'm 40 ****ing years old. No home to call my own, the chances of buying a house get slimmer by the month, 25 year terms and me being 27 years from retirement is a no go with no deposit.

If I wanted a 100% mortgage, which I need, our joint income needs to be £120k a year. We are currently £75k a year short of that.

If we go without frivolous stuff such as food every month I could put £250 a month into the help to buy isa maybe, so in 10 years I shall have a deposit. What ****ing good is that to me? I'll be 50.

Sorry about this. I'm a completely knackered and emotionally drained person right now. But any answers on what I should do right now would be appreciated.

Please someone tell me how I provide a decent stable family home I can our own to this this little beauty of a daughter....View attachment 112457

Congratulations Spongy.

There was a new member as well this week, with my first arriving on Tuesday 2nd July, at 18:50, weighing a healthy 7lb 8oz.

Maisie Ava Renn.

I’m sorry to hear about your struggles, I hope you managed to get some sleep.

ATBView attachment 112458

This is fantastic, some real news at last, positive and wonderful.
Congratulations to all involved

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Thankyou everyone. Currently back at hospital visiting with no1 in tow to have a proper introduction.

Shes a very proud big sister!

Cant stay as long as I want to as shes been here an hour and getting fidgety already so off swimming for a few hours and I'll come back later.

No jealousy yet but theres plenty of time for that to change!

My mind is a bit clearer today so more optimistic.

I shall deal with other issues later, think I was just over tired and emotional yesterday.

Good man. All the best to you

 

[Durlston]

Congratulations spongy.

Reading your opening post has brought tears to my eyes. Concentrate on the positive things and treasure them. Bit choked up currently mate. I don't know what to say which is unusual for me! Stay strong and enjoy all the happy things. Life can be very tough.

I'd PM you if I had the mental strength at the moment. It's lovely to hear of a very young Seagull!

And it sounds like you're an amazing dad!