The Most Appalling Halftime Entertainment

[el punal]

While NSC is on negativity overdrive at the moment I thought this little hoot might bring a bit of Christmas jollity and fun. That is, for you to come up with (in your view) the most awful, cringe making, toe curling embarrassing act that could do a halftime set at the Amex.

The idea for this act of masochism/sadism was based on darling Cliff Richard doing his impromptu sing-a-long at Wimbledon some years back.

So please, bring forth to the table your plate of entertainment poo, be it singers, bands, jugglers, dancers or whatever.

 

[clippedgull]

The 'replacement' Gullys Girls which included Gullys Boys were pretty low class

 

[Shatner's Bassoon]

The team could carry on playing.

 

[Ipswich_Crazy]

At Portman Road, we used to have "team dance routines" from this group of local kids. The smallest must have weighed 10 stone. The blokes who used to come on and fork the divots back on the pitch once had to come on with a load of topsoil in a wheelbarrow after they'd finished.

It was like a young version of the Roly Poly's from those '80's Les Dawson-type shows.

 

[DarrenFreemansPerm]

At Portman Road, we used to have "team dance routines" from this group of local kids. The smallest must have weighed 10 stone. The blokes who used to come on and fork the divots back on the pitch once had to come on with a load of topsoil in a wheelbarrow after they'd finished.

It was like a young version of the Roly Poly's from those '80's Les Dawson-type shows.

 

[Vegas Seagull]

The Crystals ft Paul Barber

 

[BensGrandad]

So please, bring forth to the table your plate of entertainment poo, jugglers, dancers

That sums it up for me I would like either a single opera singer or group not them obviously because of cost but like El Divo

 

[Igzilla]

"The True Story of the Nazi-Soviet Pact", as told through the medium of mime by the Sami Hyypia Performance Company.

However, I would rather prefer a fan's penalty shoot out (anyone remember Nigel's belly flop at the Goldstone?)

 

[The Fifth Column]

I once went to a game and the half time show was some bellend flying a friggin eagle across the pitch several times. it got mobbed by a gang of Seagulls though much to my amusement....

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Anyone at Bristol Rovers about 5 years ago. FDM [sub keeper warming up at h/t] very nearly got into a fight with the pitch-fork waving ground staff who kept "repairing" the pitch where is was kicking the ball.

Quite feisty, very amusing .... but not really appalling.


Also not appalling, at Stoke, must be 10 years ago, the England amputee football team played a kick-about during half time - mighty impressive how one legged players whizzing about on crutches were able to play footie - respect!

 

[AnotherArch]

Where did David Van Day sing at half-time? MIlton Keynes franchise?
At least the abuse he got was entertaining.

 

[Superphil]

There was a Shoddy Elvis at Watford once wasn't there?

 

[wallington seagull]

There was a Shoddy Elvis at Watford once wasn't there?

Indeed there was. He was awful, but not quite as bad as the singing vicar at Swindon a few years ago.

 

[TottonSeagull]

Highlights of the first half!

 

[withdeanwombat]

Highlights of the first half!

But it's a fifteen minute break. I suppose you could have the ref blowing for half time on a loop.

My choice would be a marching band, say from Haywards Heath or somewhere, playing great songs such as GOSBTS. If they had snow shoes on they could flatten the divots, thus cutting costs and helping us meet FFP standards.

 

[gjh1971]

Indeed there was. He was awful, but not quite as bad as the singing vicar at Swindon a few years ago.

God, that was awful - snowing and minus 5 that day as well, and we lost

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Where did David Van Day sing at half-time? MIlton Keynes franchise?
At least the abuse he got was entertaining.

I think I remember that.

How low budget can you get?

 

[dejavuatbtn]

Can't for the life of me remember where but some years ago at an away game they had this fans thing at half time where they would get someone to hold a broom handle to their head and spin round in circles to make them dizzy. They then had to take a penalty kick. Bizarre!

 

[Lord Bracknell]

I think I remember that.

How low budget can you get?

HM The Q's half time visit to Nottingham a few years back was much appreciated.

 

[cheshunt seagull]

I seem to remember the UK ball-juggling (or something like that) champion running on to the Goldstone pitch to demonstrate his talents only to be met with a barrage of boos as he was wearing something resembling palace colours. In the 5-0 nightmare at Selhurst I also recall some fat local failing to win a car by some margin in a shooting contest.

More of a promotion than entertainment, but in an 80s North London derby at White Hart Lane I saw Linda Lusardi walking around the pitch, inappropriately dressed for the weather, throwing bags of nuts into the crowd.