[Misc] The missus is away for 3 nights. What should I do?

[Justice]

Early years of a relationship - always look forward to them coming home for a night of sex !
Later years of a relationship - always look forward to them going out so can indulge in a night of real sex !

Edit An old mate of mine always called w@nking real sex used to make me laugh the way he said it.

 

[Guinness Boy]

Supplemented for you

 

[pork pie]

Buy some boxing gloves.

 

[Bodian]

Don't know about the first 70 hours - but in the last two hours you need to rush round like a madman doing all the things you promised to do, and all the washing-up you haven't done, and clear up all the mess you have made.

 

[GT49er]

See if you can manage to work the microwave?

 

[Superphil]

An acquired taste it has to be said, you will end up listening to Philip Glass and Steve Reich...

Now Ramstein, Kreator and Fleshcrawl and we’re talking \ö/

 

[The Clamp]

Edit An old mate of mine always called w@nking real sex used to make me laugh the way he said it.

Sex is okay but nothing beats the real thing.

 

[Your Mum]

Did somebody call me?

 

[Dorset Seagull]

Once I subscribed to Sky while the missus was away which didn’t go down too well. Another time she was away I got a tattoo which was another mistake apparently

 

[happypig]

Do 1000001 playing darts.

 

[Official Old Man]

HELP NEEDED
Some blokes wife who is a friend of my wifes sisters husband, has just turned up at my house for 3 days.
Should I
1/ Send her home, who knows what her husband is up to.
2/ Keep her, we all know what her husband is up to.

 

[maffew]

Refurb the bedroom into a man cave, sell the sofa, buy her a sofa bed to say sorry

 

[maffew]

Maybe cover the house with shit loads of bunting, so she knows you had a massive party

 

[crookie]

Early years of a relationship - always look forward to them coming home for a night of sex !
Later years of a relationship - always look forward to them going out so can indulge in a night of w@nking !

I was told, put a penny in a bottle every time you have set in your first year together, take one out every time you have set after that, you'll never empty it. Can't argue with that !!

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

 

[crookie]

I was told, put a penny in a bottle every time you have sex in your first year together, take one out every time you have sex after that, you'll never empty it. Can't argue with that !!

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

Sent from my SM-G991B using Tapatalk

 

[Mr Putdown]

Now that is utter genius. I will be seeing if I can do just that in the morning.

Let me know if it proves problematic, I trust I can vouch for you if it’s necessary.

 

[Goldstone1976]

Let me know if it proves problematic, I trust I can vouch for you if it’s necessary.

Many thanks; much appreciated.

 

[portslade seagull]

Change the locks

 

[Live by the sea]

Book yourself into a nice spa hotel for 3 nights !

 

[Cheeky Monkey]

‘The missus’ or ‘The wife’ are surely on borrowed time, utter either of those terms in my female-heavy workplace and you’ll be hung by your bollards from the ceiling.