The latest question in the 'Ask the Club' sub-forum

[Lord Bracknell]

He is one question that i want answered. Do you think i should?

"I want to know how many blades of grass will be on the pitch at Falmer and how tall will they be?"

When the Falmer For All team organised the petition to Downing Street about the Falmer planning application, I was asked to calculate the number of petition forms that it would take to cover the pitch at Withdean.

 

[Stoo82]

When the Falmer For All team organised the petition to Downing Street about the Falmer planning application, I was asked to calculate the number of petition forms that it would take to cover the pitch at Withdean.

so.......how many?

 

[Tubby Mondays]

I was going to ask 'What will the score be in the first game at Falmer?' but didnt want to get told off.

I also considered: 'What will be the first fast food outlet on my right when I go in through the nearest turnstyle to the block where my seat is?'

'What will the team be in the first game etc etc'

'How many bookings will there be in the first etc etc'

Give it time though and someone will ask them of course.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

FORKS, ffs! Have we taken our eye off the ball here?

 

[Lord Bracknell]

so.......how many?

I seem to remember telling the Club's press officer to stop asking STUPID questions.

 

[pasty]

Using the miminum regulation size of 100 x 65 metres, a football pitch is a minimum of 6500 sq metres.

Using an assumption of the petition forms being A4 (210 x 297 mm), one A4 sheet of paper is 0.06237 sq metres. Dividing 6500 sq metres by 0.06237 means that:

To cover a minimum regulation sized football pitch with A4 sized petition forms would require 104,216.77 forms.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

Using the miminum regulation size of 100 x 65 metres, a football pitch is a minimum of 6500 sq metres.

Using an assumption of the petition forms being A4 (210 x 297 mm), one A4 sheet of paper is 0.06237 sq metres. Dividing 6500 sq metres by 0.06237 means that:

To cover a minimum regulation sized football pitch with A4 sized petition forms would require 104,216.77 forms.

... and each petition form had 20 signatures.

Meaning...
(i) it would only work if more than 2 million people signed the petition; and
(ii) it would take WEEKS for the Litter Patrol to collect them up if it turned out to be a windy day.

 

[Buzzer]

Dear Insider

Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me?

Yours sincerely

Lee

 

[Buzzer]

... and each petition form had 20 signatures.

Meaning...
(i) it would only work if more than 2 million people signed the petition; and
(ii) it would take WEEKS for the Litter Patrol to collect them up if it turned out to be a windy day.

Not if they had been secured carefully at each corner with tent pegs.

 

[Franks Wild Years]

Dear Insider

I would do anything for love, but I won't do THAT.

All the best,
Frank W Years

 

[pasty]

Can you imagine Stoke City's equivalent?

Why, why, whyyyyyy, Insider