[Food] The Great British Dilemma

[METALMICKY]

And when the barber flashes the mirror around to show you the back of your head " yes that's fine ".

 

[Coldeanseagull]

'The food was good, but it was like being served it by my wife!'
This gets the message across in a subtle and concise way to get them to buck their ideas up.....
or
It gives them the chance to answer in French..., you know...'if you don't like it, f*** off somewhere else!'

 

[Han Solo]

So, this was tonight...

Dinner out in Worthing at <REDACTED>.

The food was great. The drinks were great. Service was meh. But I love the restaurant and will return. In fact, I have another booking for a week tonight.

Between the bill arriving and the waitress coming to take payment, we were discussing the meal and the service. As above, we agreed the food was great, but the service was lacking. Well, maybe not lacking but just a bit perfunctory. It was going through the motions. No warmth at all at any point.

So, when the waitress asked "how was everything?", I had the great dilemma - did I say "Yes, everything was fantastic" or did I say "We really loved the food and drink, but the service felt a bit off tonight"?

I committed the great British crime by doing the latter. This led to an obviously awkward conversation. I explained the food and drink were great, but we felt like we were a bit of an inconvenience to the waiting staff. We sat down at 9 - I don't think anyone arrived after us - although there were other tables present whilst we were paying.

The waitress offered to take the service charge off the bill, but I said I was happy to pay it, which I did.

After we'd paid, the waitress retreated to her colleagues, and clearly immediately shared what I'd said. There was a lot of defensive body language going on, and I couldn't wait to stand up, face their way, and thank them.

I stood, I thanked, and people wanted me to die on the spot.

But, ya know, what do you do? Be British and say "everything was great!" when it wasn't, or try to be constructive.

Regardless, there's going to be flob in my food next week...

Culturally and socially impossible in Sweden. If I go to a dinner with friends and make a fuzz about the "lack of warmth in service", people are going to tell me to take my double-barrelled name and shove it in a dark place, and they're certainly not asking me to tag along the next time. People are 100% going to take the side of the likely overworked and underpaid waitress against the snobby customer demanding "warmth" in his service. And thats not mention that people will be offended because you didn't find your company interesting enough to skip out on a unnecessary conflict.

I'm quite outspoken to be Swedish but still wouldn't even dream of it and would definitely not go to a restaurant again with someone who made a scene out of nothing.

Not saying you did the wrong thing. I've always loved a bit of Dutch honesty.

You said you tried to be "constructive" though, so what kind of advice did you give them in order to improve their service? From your description it seems they did nothing wrong - importanly the food was great - and your complaint is that they were "going through the motions".
So how did you suggest improving this? You want a little dance number when you arrive? A hug?

Maybe you said "next time I come here, I want you to wear a big fake smile and pretend to love spending your Saturday night feeding my ungrateful arse"?.

Ok, changed my mind. I am thinking you did something wrong. But just like the persons serving you probably have their reasons to not be all energetic and happy, maybe you had some reason to pick this useless fight. I can definitely relate to a desire to challenge the usual way of doing things every now and then.. but judging from your description, you took a bad opportunity. You hade a night out with your friends, ate food that was "great" and then decided to ruin someones day by complaining about the job they did for you. It seems incredibly petty.

 

[Guinness Boy]

I posted a bit about this in the restaurant thread. I had a meal on Thursday where the service was superb (and well tipped). Particularly noticeable because in many places now it is indifferent.

I’m ok with that. My review is typically my tip. However - do NOT leave me unattended for a long time while serving people who arrived after me. And do NOT bring my drinks after my food. Either will lead to a zero tip and a quiet word.

To add finally it must be properly rubbish working in a restaurant at this time of year. My brother recently changed jobs to start cheffing. He’s got a 14 hour shift on Christmas Day.

 

[Bozza]

In the cold light of the next day, I'm not entirely happy with how I handled it, even though I'll stress I was polite and constructive throughout and did acknowledge how difficult the job is.

I'm not a complainer, and I'd like to think I'm a generous tipper. I'm very much a "it's fine" kinda guy, and I had no issue with the service charge and was going to pay it regardless.

I guess it was just the timing that Mrs B had literally been discussing what felt like slightly strange service when the waitress appeared to take card payment and directly asked "was everything ok?" If it was a place I rarely visit or didn't intend to visit again, I doubt I'd have said anything.

However, being very British and awkward, I really don't fancy going back next week now, so I'm trying to source another booking!

 

[Bozza]

Ok, changed my mind. I am thinking you did something wrong. But just like the persons serving you probably have their reasons to not be all energetic and happy, maybe you had some reason to pick this useless fight. I can definitely relate to a desire to challenge the usual way of doing things every now and then.. but judging from your description, you took a bad opportunity. You hade a night out with your friends, ate food that was "great" and then decided to ruin someones day by complaining about the job they did for you. It seems incredibly petty.

Just picking up on this - I wouldn't even say I complained, frankly.

Anyway, as above, I think I'll revert to being typically British and not engaging in similarly awkward conversations.

 

[Yoda]

I rather prefer service to be "perfunctory" rather than in your face every 5 minutes like in the US where they need to be a fakely happy to everything you need just to get a tip to make ends meat.

 

[LamieRobertson]

Just picking up on this - I wouldn't even say I complained, frankly.

Anyway, as above, I think I'll revert to being typically British and not engaging in similarly awkward conversations.

…I think the fact you’ve reflected says something about you (in a good way)….having noted a certain posters comments I would counter by saying what’s the point of being asked the question if you can’t answer it honestly, you have after all paid for a service ……or should the question be logged alongside the ”how are you today” one….where we generally say “fine” despite being crap…..I often (well used to) go to a particular cafe which is my form of a “drink out” ….over the past year the service has deteriorated ..little eye contact …feeling that they talk about customers in a derogatory way etc…..I persisted on going because I felt everyone (including me) deserves a chance and has a bad day ….but there came a point where I thought enough, I’ll pop elsewhere ….i think you should stick to your booking and give them a smile…get this one behind you, if they are good enough you’ll get a positive response

 

[Weststander]

We had a meal out for a b’day in October at a well known Brighton restaurant. We usually love it there. This time the service was awful …. mains arrived separately with long time intervals, vegetables arrived as the mains were finished, some drinks forgotten. The restaurant was fairly quiet btw.

We didn’t need to say anything pointed. At the end they offered no charge for the desserts, coffees or ‘service’.

We’ll go back.

Touched on in other posts and threads, the underlying cause across Europe is a load of people used 2020 as the catalyst to leave hospitality jobs. They wanted a life. All that experience lost.

Tipping/service charges … we’re heading down the US way, but we have higher basic wages enshrined in law. To add it to drinks served at a bar is taking the p1ss.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

In the cold light of the next day, I'm not entirely happy with how I handled it, even though I'll stress I was polite and constructive throughout and did acknowledge how difficult the job is.

I'm not a complainer, and I'd like to think I'm a generous tipper. I'm very much a "it's fine" kinda guy, and I had no issue with the service charge and was going to pay it regardless.

I guess it was just the timing that Mrs B had literally been discussing what felt like slightly strange service when the waitress appeared to take card payment and directly asked "was everything ok?" If it was a place I rarely visit or didn't intend to visit again, I doubt I'd have said anything.

However, being very British and awkward, I really don't fancy going back next week now, so I'm trying to source another booking!

Make sure you have some industrial strength https://www.boots.com/imodium®-dual-action-12-tablets-10312452- at home if you go back (just in case).

 

[Cheshire Cat]

Just picking up on this - I wouldn't even say I complained, frankly.

Anyway, as above, I think I'll revert to being typically British and not engaging in similarly awkward conversations.

It's like when somebody asks "how are you?". The only acceptable answer is "fine". Nobody wants to hear a detailed description of how actually shit you feel.

 

[tedebear]

Just picking up on this - I wouldn't even say I complained, frankly.

Anyway, as above, I think I'll revert to being typically British and not engaging in similarly awkward conversations.

The trouble is when service is charged for and you feel it felt odd or short of the mark, then how else are we to raise that what you received may not have been worth charging for? Just not go there and let others experience and pay for the same?

 

[Herr Tubthumper]

I rather prefer service to be "perfunctory" rather than in your face every 5 minutes like in the US where they need to be a fakely happy to everything you need just to get a tip to make ends meat.

I like US service. There’s a craft beer bar I go to where one of the bar staff is super-US. I have had many discussions about him with friends and most say his greetings and conduct are fake. But I like him saying “hey, how’s it going?” whenever he sees me and asking what I’m up to, where I’m going etc and all done with a smile. Is it fake? For sure. I’m certain he’s not really interested. But it’s polite and I can engage as much or as little as I want. I like it.

 

[Peacehaven Wild Kids]

Don't eat so late - it is not good for the digestion or the mood of the low paid staff.

Ah yes, the Basil Fawlty/Mr Hamilton scenario

“Perhaps we should have our pre dinner drink after dinner, freshen up then go to bed?”

“Well if you could it would make life easier for us”

 

[The Wookiee]

So, this was tonight...

Dinner out in Worthing at <REDACTED>.

The food was great. The drinks were great. Service was meh. But I love the restaurant and will return. In fact, I have another booking for a week tonight.

Between the bill arriving and the waitress coming to take payment, we were discussing the meal and the service. As above, we agreed the food was great, but the service was lacking. Well, maybe not lacking but just a bit perfunctory. It was going through the motions. No warmth at all at any point.

So, when the waitress asked "how was everything?", I had the great dilemma - did I say "Yes, everything was fantastic" or did I say "We really loved the food and drink, but the service felt a bit off tonight"?

I committed the great British crime by doing the latter. This led to an obviously awkward conversation. I explained the food and drink were great, but we felt like we were a bit of an inconvenience to the waiting staff. We sat down at 9 - I don't think anyone arrived after us - although there were other tables present whilst we were paying.

The waitress offered to take the service charge off the bill, but I said I was happy to pay it, which I did.

After we'd paid, the waitress retreated to her colleagues, and clearly immediately shared what I'd said. There was a lot of defensive body language going on, and I couldn't wait to stand up, face their way, and thank them.

I stood, I thanked, and people wanted me to die on the spot.

But, ya know, what do you do? Be British and say "everything was great!" when it wasn't, or try to be constructive.

Regardless, there's going to be flob in my food next week...

I always find the service at Wetherspoons very good

 

[Albion my Albion]

As someone who "eats out" almost every day of the year I find that when I just want food I go to certain places and when I want service I go to only a few restaurants that I know will provide that service and I tip well. I also usually go at times off the usual meal times so the staff is not so busy.

 

[Bodian]

If you thought the service was lacking in warmth this Saturday @Bozza, just wait til you go back again next Saturday - assuming you can get any of your mortified companions to go with you

NSC demands a full report!

In the cold light of the next day, I'm not entirely happy with how I handled it, even though I'll stress I was polite and constructive throughout and did acknowledge how difficult the job is.

I'm not a complainer, and I'd like to think I'm a generous tipper. I'm very much a "it's fine" kinda guy, and I had no issue with the service charge and was going to pay it regardless.

I guess it was just the timing that Mrs B had literally been discussing what felt like slightly strange service when the waitress appeared to take card payment and directly asked "was everything ok?" If it was a place I rarely visit or didn't intend to visit again, I doubt I'd have said anything.

However, being very British and awkward, I really don't fancy going back next week now, so I'm trying to source another booking!

But you never know, they may also have reflected - and might go out of their way to provide top-notch service next time. Taking your coat, pulling your chair out, all that sort of stuff!

 

[Yoda]

I like US service. There’s a craft beer bar I go to where one of the bar staff is super-US. I have had many discussions about him with friends and most say his greetings and conduct are fake. But I like him saying “hey, how’s it going?” whenever he sees me and asking what I’m up to, where I’m going etc and all done with a smile. Is it fake? For sure. I’m certain he’s not really interested. But it’s polite and I can engage as much or as little as I want. I like it.

But a bar/pub is completely different to a restaurant. When I'm eating, I like to be able to get on and enjoy my meal rather than someone constantly needing to check if everything is okay. I can understand once during each course, but I've also been places where it felt like they were checking after every other mouthful. We felt like saying "We'd love to tell you everything is okay with our meal, but we keep being interrupted every 2 minutes minutes so haven't had the chance to see"