Our season was determined during the Utd home match. An 8-1 win turned 2-3 defeat. The players have never recovered their confidence or composure in front of goal.
An insidious, unrelenting and highly transmissible disease struck our dressing room that day. It ripped through the entire squad effecting the likes of Dunk, Webster & Burn. It has spread through our midfield with players like Groß, Bissouma, March & Mac Allister falling foul. It has decimated our forward line with folk such as Maupay, Trossard, Welbeck & Connolly being victims of the severe cases.
Our squad has been decimated by the football yips. It’s a collective contamination. Only Veltman appears to be immune. No one can score anymore, it has spread to officials who will do their utmost to stop us scoring too.
I think any Striker we purchased in the summer would have gone down with this.
We’re ****ed unless we get the vaccine.
The vaccine is goals, and lots of them.
We’re going to be relegated if the team don’t recover as our only current chance of points is 0-0 draws.
If we have a game that yields some good luck with say, a deflected goal, a VAR that goes our way, a keeper who doesn’t have his best game this season, an own goal maybe? If we have a game like this and score a hatful, I think we’ll be cured of the football yips. The only other option would be to sack the entire squad (Veltman & Sanchez aside). Until then, we’re headed for very very dark times my friends.
The Football Yips is contributing to the following EPL ‘firsts’ or ‘records’.
- Woodwork hit 3 times by one player in an EPL match.
- Woodwork hit 5 times in an EPL match.
- A goal conceded after the final whistle.
- Two missed penalties hitting the woodwork in one EPL match.
- A goal being ruled out after the ref has blown the whistle to begin play again for the first time in the EPL.
What more extraordinary record can we grab this season? Most EPL draws could be in reach but Fulham are proving a good rival for this title.
An insidious, unrelenting and highly transmissible disease struck our dressing room that day. It ripped through the entire squad effecting the likes of Dunk, Webster & Burn. It has spread through our midfield with players like Groß, Bissouma, March & Mac Allister falling foul. It has decimated our forward line with folk such as Maupay, Trossard, Welbeck & Connolly being victims of the severe cases.
Our squad has been decimated by the football yips. It’s a collective contamination. Only Veltman appears to be immune. No one can score anymore, it has spread to officials who will do their utmost to stop us scoring too.
I think any Striker we purchased in the summer would have gone down with this.
We’re ****ed unless we get the vaccine.
The vaccine is goals, and lots of them.
We’re going to be relegated if the team don’t recover as our only current chance of points is 0-0 draws.
If we have a game that yields some good luck with say, a deflected goal, a VAR that goes our way, a keeper who doesn’t have his best game this season, an own goal maybe? If we have a game like this and score a hatful, I think we’ll be cured of the football yips. The only other option would be to sack the entire squad (Veltman & Sanchez aside). Until then, we’re headed for very very dark times my friends.
The Football Yips is contributing to the following EPL ‘firsts’ or ‘records’.
- Woodwork hit 3 times by one player in an EPL match.
- Woodwork hit 5 times in an EPL match.
- A goal conceded after the final whistle.
- Two missed penalties hitting the woodwork in one EPL match.
- A goal being ruled out after the ref has blown the whistle to begin play again for the first time in the EPL.
What more extraordinary record can we grab this season? Most EPL draws could be in reach but Fulham are proving a good rival for this title.
