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[Brighton] The Dail Mash take on Brighton the town



Black Rod

Well-known member
Jan 19, 2013
979
After seeing the gubbins spouted by the twats who wanted Brighton to decalre independence from the rest of the country after the General Election I am inclined to agree
 




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Triggaaar

Well-known member
Oct 24, 2005
53,153
Goldstone
This was posted on here a while back, I seem to recall. You do see the characters mentioned, but equally there's a hell of a lot more to Brighton than them. I'll file it under "cheap shot."
I filed it in the 'cool story bro' section.
 










jimhigham

Je Suis Rhino
Apr 25, 2009
8,039
Woking
Woking is a pleasant enough place and it's a breeze to get into London from here but I'd gladly sell a kidney to be able to live in Brighton. Life just never quite worked out the way I'd planned and here I am. Sure, it's full of bohemian folk and all but you're lucky enough to live in a city with swagger that isn't just a flat-pack copy of the next town down the road (although, weirdly, in your case that's Lewes, which also has a fierce independent streak running through it).

Lucky Devils you lot down there.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,697
The Fatherland
I think there are a few uncomfortable truths in there. Brighton is rapidly becoming a Brightonian free zone...

Depends what you mean by a Brightonian. The city has, through the centuries/decades attracted a certain "type". And Brighton is partly defined by it's high transient population. People moving to the city can have as much "Brightonian" claim as people born there.
 




Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,697
The Fatherland
Woking is a pleasant enough place and it's a breeze to get into London from here but I'd gladly sell a kidney to be able to live in Brighton. Life just never quite worked out the way I'd planned and here I am. Sure, it's full of bohemian folk and all but you're lucky enough to live in a city with swagger that isn't just a flat-pack copy of the next town down the road (although, weirdly, in your case that's Lewes, which also has a fierce independent streak running through it).

Lucky Devils you lot down there.

Agree.
 


alfredmizen

Banned
Mar 11, 2015
6,342
Depends what you mean by a Brightonian. The city has, through the centuries/decades attracted a certain "type". And Brighton is partly defined by it's high transient population. People moving to the city can have as much "Brightonian" claim as people born there.

Nonsense.
 








Baldseagull

Well-known member
Jan 26, 2012
11,839
Crawley
It is a shame to see people moving into an area because it is a cool place to be, and immediately making it a bit less so.
Akin to the twunts that move into the quaint village, then complain about the sound of cockrels crowing or church bells ringing, newcomers to Brighton seem to complain about the music venue or pub they just moved next door to.
 


Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
Not sure if you lot have seen this before but it made me laugh. I'm not sure which group I'm in, lol

Brighton to become the UK’s first ‘twats only’ town

UNBEARABLY smug seaside **** haven Brighton is to ban ordinary people.

The Sussex town, which had increasingly become an overpriced dormitory for London media workers and grizzled ‘big beat’ DJs, is to take the bold step of excluding anyone who does not have a glaringly flawed personality.

A spokesman for Brighton and Hove Council said: “We have a legion of twats here, mixed with a smattering of normal people, and the two groups were really failing to gel.

“On the one hand you’ve got ordinary worker types struggling with massively inflated living costs, while on the other you’ve got self-styled Bohemians with enormously wealthy grandparents, who somehow reconcile ecological beliefs with consuming vast amounts of cocaine.

“For the sake of the local economy, we want to defuse this tension while keeping the people who want to pay vastly over-the-odds for organic vegetables and taxidermy.

“So the normals can go to the nearest affordable town, which is only 212 miles away.”

Brighton resident Julian Cook said: “When I’m not DJing or ‘shopping local’ I like to chill on the beach. I have a small lifelong family income because my ancestors had a sugar plantation, which I’m fairly sure was run as an ethical workers’ co-operative.

“Basically I’m like a pet.”

http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/society/brighton-to-becomes-the-uks-first-twats-only-town-20150720100280

Sound like every city in the world.
 




Nibble

New member
Jan 3, 2007
19,238
I lived in Brighton for 16 years, out for 3, just moved back a few days ago. It is one of the best places to live in the UK. Shame it's so damned expensive. Try living in provincial little outposts after Brighton. Dull as ditchwater, Culturally void and full of Tory voters with wellies and pointer dogs.
Now I imagine if one had a family and a wife these small places would be ideal. As a single bloke it was a nightmare. Brighton is a great town to be single in.
As for not being Brightonian? Piffle, I very much consider myself Brightonian, more so because I chose to live here rather than my town be some random chance of birth. The kind of people who resent "non brightonians" are the kind of people that would say the same thing wherever they were native to. Having said that, I'm back now so we can stop letting anyone else in now please thank you.
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,697
The Fatherland
As for not being Brightonian? Piffle, I very much consider myself Brightonian, more so because I chose to live here rather than my town be some random chance of birth. The kind of people who resent "non brightonians" are the kind of people that would say the same thing wherever they were native to.

Quite. I think this is even more to the point given how the city we now know as Brighton was founded by outsiders.
 




Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,697
The Fatherland
Oh, and I have just arrived in Brighton for Xmas. The sun is shining and I'm pleased to be here.

PS the trains are a bit shit ain't they?
 




W.C.

New member
Oct 31, 2011
4,927
Nonsense.

Christ we have to listen to you telling everyone what makes a Londoner and dismissing anyone's opinion who wasn't born and bred there, and now your sticking your busy little oar in over Brightonians?
 


Herr Tubthumper

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
62,697
The Fatherland
Christ we have to listen to you telling everyone what makes a Londoner and dismissing anyone's opinion who wasn't born and bred there, and now your sticking your busy little oar in over Brightonians?

:lolol:
 


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