[Football] Stuff that never happens in football anymore

[Guy Fawkes]

Players staying on their feet after a robust challenge rather than already starting to fall over as they anticipate (minimal) contact that we see nowadays

 

[Baldrick]

Reliant Robins parked by a corner flag

 

[Zeberdi]

‘Vinnie Jones Ball’

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Football shirts with no advertising on them

 

[Swansman]

‘Vinnie Jones Ball’

Yup.. thankfully. I love a tough player but the game is better off without immensly sick humans like him being role models for thousands of kids.

 

[Zeberdi]

Football shirts with no advertising on them

or squad numbers on the front or names on the back of them!

 

[Codner's Wallop]

Commentators without egos even bigger than the players on the pitch, who didn’t babble in a relentless, breathless, highly excitable manner which makes the game nearly unwatchable.

 

[AnotherArch]

Stray animals, normally dogs, on the pitch (with the exception of Everton's recent cat)

 

[Oh_aye]

The Watney Cup.
Half-time oranges.
Magic sponges.
Blanket collections.
Rosette wearing.
Wooden rattles.
Singing my, my, what a referee.
The four-steps rule.

6 steps wasn't it?

 

[Guinness Boy]

Football shirts with no advertising on them

Apart from Forest.....

Fanzine sellers

 

[Guinness Boy]

Lighting up a fag when you needed to score as you wouldn't mind losing it in the surge. AKA "smoking a goal in" as mentioned in Hornby's Fever Pitch.

 

[Jeremiah]

White coated gentlemen lobbing peanuts into the crowd ...or am I getting confused with the Opera ?

 

[Guinness Boy]

White coated gentlemen lobbing peanuts into the crowd ...or am I getting confused with the Opera ?

I think you're getting confused with the zoo......

 

[Zeberdi]

White coated gentlemen lobbing peanuts into the crowd ...or am I getting confused with the Opera ?

Or at the entrance to A&E during the ambulance strike

 

[Jeremiah]

I think you're getting confused with the zoo......

I'm certainly confused.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Do The National Front newspaper seller's still hang around northern lower league grounds?

You mean like Elland Road?

Not anymore thankfully (at least judging from lack of comment from a mate of mine who follows a tier 6 side home and away).

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Apart from Forest.....

Fanzine sellers

Fanzine writers

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Commentators without egos even bigger than the players on the pitch, who didn’t babble in a relentless, breathless, highly excitable manner which makes the game nearly unwatchable.

Try turning your 'device' off, when you're at the Amex.

Serious reply: commentators were dull and cliché ridden until the breath of fresh air, sadly hounded out of a job, that was Alan Green.

I remember Maurice Edelstone and Bryon Butler banging on about what a 'cheekie chappie' Johnnie Giles was, on radio 2 in around 1971. Christ.

 

[getz]

White coated gentlemen lobbing peanuts into the crowd ...or am I getting confused with the Opera ?

Definitely remember buying a bag of peanuts in their shells.

 

[getz]

Being touched up by a paedo in the south stand. I can see his face now 70 years on.