[Football] Straight red cards - 2023/2024 season

[Happy Exile]

Best thread ever. Along with Giraffe's staying up tracker I sincerely hope this becomes an annual event.

 

[jcdenton08]

A midweek bounty in the EFL Cup as Samson Tovide of Colchester United decides an 89th minute attempted decapitation is the order of the day. Samson is obviously a fan of the thread, and I commend his efforts in providing us with such glorious material. This manoeuvre will forever henceforth be known as a Tovide in martial arts circles. 1:37 for the assault.



Finally, Huddersfield’s Jaheim Headley decided to commit a very blatant professional foul after only 13 minutes, on route to a 2-3 home defeat to Middlesbrough. Jaheim, listen, if you’re going to do something extremely stupid and get a straight red card, at least make it brutal or funny, yeah? (26 secs)

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Best thread ever. Along with Giraffe's staying up tracker I sincerely hope this becomes an annual event.

This. Would be quite fun also to include a running league table by club, extra points scored the earlier the red etc. Also include non-playing staff. RDZ sure to figure prominently

 

[jcdenton08]

This. Would be quite fun also to include a running league table by club, extra points scored the earlier the red etc. Also include non-playing staff. RDZ sure to figure prominently

Great idea - can do!

 

[Van Cleef]

A midweek bounty in the EFL Cup as Samson Tovide of Colchester United decides an 89th minute attempted decapitation is the order of the day. Samson is obviously a fan of the thread, and I commend his efforts in providing us with such glorious material. This manoeuvre will forever henceforth be known as a Tovide in martial arts circles. 1:37 for the assault.



Finally, Huddersfield’s Jaheim Headley decided to commit a very blatant professional foul after only 13 minutes, on route to a 2-3 home defeat to Middlesbrough. Jaheim, listen, if you’re going to do something extremely stupid and get a straight red card, at least make it brutal or funny, yeah? (26 secs)

The FL clubs have set a high bar already. Come on Premier League, let's see what you've got.

 

[dejavuatbtn]

This. Would be quite fun also to include a running league table by club, extra points scored the earlier the red etc. Also include non-playing staff. RDZ sure to figure prominently

I read somewhere that managers or coaches sent off had to go to the changing room, rather than the stands where they could still influence the game. If the same applies to suspensions then RDZ may be missing quite a lot - unless he can be gagged and straight-jacketed!

 

[Dave the hatosaurus]

A midweek bounty in the EFL Cup as Samson Tovide of Colchester United decides an 89th minute attempted decapitation is the order of the day. Samson is obviously a fan of the thread, and I commend his efforts in providing us with such glorious material. This manoeuvre will forever henceforth be known as a Tovide in martial arts circles. 1:37 for the assault.



Finally, Huddersfield’s Jaheim Headley decided to commit a very blatant professional foul after only 13 minutes, on route to a 2-3 home defeat to Middlesbrough. Jaheim, listen, if you’re going to do something extremely stupid and get a straight red card, at least make it brutal or funny, yeah? (26 secs)

That huddersfield game had a lot more than just the straight red. There was the first goal caused by "dicking around " at the back, the shot that went in having hit both posts and finally the two centre halves both sliding in to prevent a pass into the box only for the ball to bypass them while they crashed into each other !
Entertainment indeed.
P.s. Thanks for starting this thread

 

[jcdenton08]

Lovely effort here from Burnley’s Anass Zaroury in the 94th minute. With his side 0-3 down, he decides the right and proper course of action is to try and break Kyle Walker’s leg.

We are currently operating on a 100% straight red card to PL fixture ratio. What a time to be alive!

Wonderful scenes from 2:22.

 

[Bodian]

Lovely effort here from Burnley’s Anass Zaroury in the 94th minute. With his side 0-3 down, he decides the right and proper course of action is to try and break Kyle Walker’s leg.

We are currently operating on a 100% straight red card to PL fixture ratio. What a time to be alive!

Wonderful scenes from 2:22.

No other bookings in the game - which is quite something. Both these teams have a history of spreading around the fouls / bookings.

 

[dazzer6666]

I read somewhere that managers or coaches sent off had to go to the changing room, rather than the stands where they could still influence the game. If the same applies to suspensions then RDZ may be missing quite a lot - unless he can be gagged and straight-jacketed!

RDeZ said on Thursday when asked about the new rules that he’s bought a season ticket in the stands.

 

[jcdenton08]

The slimmest of pickings this weekend, with just a single solitary straight red across all four divisions. A certain player is determined to make a name for himself.

Early thread legend Harry Smith is already staking a claim for all the plaudits, come the end of season awards. I direct your attention to post #1, where Mr. Smith put on an exemplary display of world class shithousery. I quote;

… Notts County keeper Aidan Stone is sent off for a professional foul early doors, on the way to a 5-1 drubbing against Sutton United. Bonus points to the absolute shitehouse behaviour of Sutton’s number 9, Harry Smith, who brings the joy of the playground to the VBS Community Stadium. VBS presumably standing for “Very Blatant Shithousing”.

From 0:34:

Our main man is back for the second week running. The Sutton United target man has outdone himself, earning a straight red card after just 13 minutes for violent conduct. The Sutton United thug’s actions were sadly missed by the camera, with the action starting at 0:00 on the clock. The action takes place on the right side of the screen.



Further investigation reveals that Smith was dismissed for a “foolhardy stamp” (PA Media/BBC Sport) which was spotted by the fourth official. Sutton United’s website describing the incident as a “clash off the ball” and Barrow’s an “off the ball altercation”.

A polite reminder to Harry, firstly thank you for your efforts so far. But could you please make sure your next act of complete twattery is caught on camera?

 

[Bodian]

The slimmest of pickings this weekend, with just a single solitary straight red across all four divisions. A certain player is determined to make a name for himself.

Early thread legend Harry Smith is already staking a claim for all the plaudits, come the end of season awards. I direct your attention to post #1, where Mr. Smith put on an exemplary display of world class shithousery. I quote;



Our main man is back for the second week running. The Sutton United target man has outdone himself, earning a straight red card after just 13 minutes for violent conduct. The Sutton United thug’s actions were sadly missed by the camera, with the action starting at 0:00 on the clock. The action takes place on the right side of the screen.



Further investigation reveals that Smith was dismissed for a “foolhardy stamp” (PA Media/BBC Sport) which was spotted by the fourth official. Sutton United’s website describing the incident as a “clash off the ball” and Barrow’s an “off the ball altercation”.

A polite reminder to Harry, firstly thank you for your efforts so far. But could you please make sure your next act of complete twattery is caught on camera?

But look at Barrow's number 6 - he's waving Smith off, obviously having tuned into this thread's earlier posting!

Barrow look to have two new stands (across from the camera - either side of the old 'main' stand, the one on the right being for the 94 away fans), following on from their new roof for the terrace (behind the goal to the right). On the up - must pop along this season.

 

[Guinness Boy]

The slimmest of pickings this weekend, with just a single solitary straight red across all four divisions. A certain player is determined to make a name for himself.

Early thread legend Harry Smith is already staking a claim for all the plaudits, come the end of season awards. I direct your attention to post #1, where Mr. Smith put on an exemplary display of world class shithousery. I quote;



Our main man is back for the second week running. The Sutton United target man has outdone himself, earning a straight red card after just 13 minutes for violent conduct. The Sutton United thug’s actions were sadly missed by the camera, with the action starting at 0:00 on the clock. The action takes place on the right side of the screen.



Further investigation reveals that Smith was dismissed for a “foolhardy stamp” (PA Media/BBC Sport) which was spotted by the fourth official. Sutton United’s website describing the incident as a “clash off the ball” and Barrow’s an “off the ball altercation”.

A polite reminder to Harry, firstly thank you for your efforts so far. But could you please make sure your next act of complete twattery is caught on camera?

 

[jcdenton08]

You love to see that.

The thing is I’ve been going through and watching straight red cards for years, I had no idea anybody would be remotely interested in my weird hobby so I didn’t start the thread sooner. Glad for the positive feedback.

Working on a spreadsheet and scoring system for the “top performers”, with a “team of the season” eventually…

 

[jcdenton08]

But look at Barrow's number 6 - he's waving Smith off, obviously having tuned into this thread's earlier posting!

Barrow look to have two new stands (across from the camera - either side of the old 'main' stand, the one on the right being for the 94 away fans), following on from their new roof for the terrace (behind the goal to the right). On the up - must pop along this season.

How did I miss that?! He appears to be jazz handing, that is some very Fosse-like shithousing and I’m all for it.

 

[Guinness Boy]

You love to see that.

The thing is I’ve been going through and watching straight red cards for years, I had no idea anybody would be remotely interested in my weird hobby so I didn’t start the thread sooner. Glad for the positive feedback.

Working on a spreadsheet and scoring system for the “top performers”, with a “team of the season” eventually…

Don't put yourself down on this one, NSC was invented for threads like this. Top work.

 

[AZ Gull]

Albion's youngsters seem keen to make an appearance in this thread. The U-18s haven't quite mastered the art yet (their two sendings-off on Saturday were both the result of quickfire double bookings), but the U-21s are further along in their progression. Ben Jackson might have a future in one of the rugby codes if his football career doesn't pan out, as evidenced by his tackle seen on Friday evening (from around the 2m 16 sec mark here):-



For fans of atrocious defending (and goalkeeping) you may wish to view the entire video!

 

[Van Cleef]

How did I miss that?! He appears to be jazz handing, that is some very Fosse-like shithousing and I’m all for it.

Tit for tat shithousing. Is this a new thing? I'm hoping so! Outstanding work that man.

 

[jcdenton08]

Tit for tat shithousing. Is this a new thing? I'm hoping so! Outstanding work that man.

The thread is picking up momentum. Everyone wants to be a part of the excitement.

 

[jcdenton08]

Albion's youngsters seem keen to make an appearance in this thread. The U-18s haven't quite mastered the art yet (their two sendings-off on Saturday were both the result of quickfire double bookings), but the U-21s are futher along in their progression. Ben Jackson might have a future in one of the rugby codes if his football career doesn't pan out, as evidenced by his tackle seen on Friday evening (from around the 2m 16 sec mark here):-



For fans of atrocious defending (and goalkeeping) you may wish to view the entire video!

Adore the write-up. The first taste is with the eyes