Stoopid things people do ( particularly wimin )

[atfc village]

Great thread

 

[Iggle Piggle]

I sympathise [MENTION=33965]FatSuperman[/MENTION] We (I) spent thousands on our perfectly fine lounge doing it up last year. The only thing I got out of it was ONE drawer. This is an area I can put whatever I want without fear that it will be luzzed in the nearest bin. In a 3 storey house it's the only 'safe' place I have. Anything I leave elsewhere dissappears like something from a sci fi movie. I reckon one day I'll end up sleeping in it.

 

[Washie]

Haha, yeah it's the little things that grate, but actually all the important stuff is fine. I just get on with it.

She threw my cycle bottle away last month. I found out when I was about to go on the bike track at Bedgebury.

"Have you seen my drinks bottle"
"What drinks bottle"
"The one for my bike"
"Oh I threw that away"
"Oh. Why?"
"What do you mean why? We never use it, why do you hoard everything"
"I use it every week. Literally every Sunday morning"
"I threw it away over a week ago so obviously that's not true"
"Well yes. We were on holiday last week though"
"..."
"Ok. I'll get another and keep it in the shed from now on then"

She does hate clutter. The following that I can see right now does not constitute clutter though:
2 x big plastic storage boxes of cake making stuff
1 x big plastic storage box of bits of pretty wrapping paper that is added to each year, just in case we need a scrap of pretty paper
1 x storage drawers containing scraps of ribbon, string, a tiny sewing machine, stamps, ink, coloured card, glittery glue and all manner of crafty stuff
25 x balls of wool from that year she started learning to knit
1 x medium plastic storage box full of gift bags, containing other gift bags
1 x air compressor, 3 x spray guns, 6 x paint stuff (unopened)

The only thing that actually annoys me is whenever I'm in here (the office) I end up covered in glitter somehow. It's like the herpes of the craft world that stuff.

Does yours also have a drawer full of plastic bags, "just in case" and keeps adding to it? Why not just get a ****ing bag for life?

 

[Badger]

I sympathise [MENTION=33965]FatSuperman[/MENTION] We (I) spent thousands on our perfectly fine lounge doing it up last year. The only thing I got out of it was ONE drawer. This is an area I can put whatever I want without fear that it will be luzzed in the nearest bin. In a 3 storey house it's the only 'safe' place I have. Anything I leave elsewhere dissappears like something from a sci fi movie. I reckon one day I'll end up sleeping in it.

That's just a standard issue MAN DRAWER isn't it?

 

[Jack Straw]

Oh, the joys of being a batchelor boy!

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

I can't speak for all women of course, but the one I'm married to is wholly incapable of loading a dishwasher. She seems to have a rule of thumb along the lines of 'put as little as possible in, whilst taking up the maximum space and ensuring nothing can get cleaned properly'. She puts things in that are so high they stop the sprayer rotating. When I complain she just moans about how bad the dishwasher is. Honestly, it's staggering.

On a similar note, she constantly puts hot pans on the worktop, doesn't bother using a chopping board, etc. At our last place she spilled oven cleaner all over the wooden worktop and didn't bother to wipe it up immediately. Despite my constant warnings. I came home to two massive black burn marks. Had to sand and re-oil the thing.

ANOTHER thing that winds me up no end; she hates having dirty plates etc on the worktop, so will pile it all in the sink and fill the sink with water. She doesn't scrape any food etc off, just puts everything in the sink, totally randomly stacked and fills it up. Everything then gets covered in a layer of grease, and is thus ten times harder to clean than it ordinarily would have been.

When cooking, her approach is; 'why use one pan when I can use NINE'.

AND ALSO. Wait, how long have I got? Can this thread be just for me to moan please?

I assume she is not on NSC?

 

[The Fifth Column]

Haha, yeah it's the little things that grate, but actually all the important stuff is fine. I just get on with it.

She threw my cycle bottle away last month. I found out when I was about to go on the bike track at Bedgebury.

"Have you seen my drinks bottle"
"What drinks bottle"
"The one for my bike"
"Oh I threw that away"
"Oh. Why?"
"What do you mean why? We never use it, why do you hoard everything"
"I use it every week. Literally every Sunday morning"
"I threw it away over a week ago so obviously that's not true"
"Well yes. We were on holiday last week though"
"..."
"Ok. I'll get another and keep it in the shed from now on then"

She does hate clutter. The following that I can see right now does not constitute clutter though:
2 x big plastic storage boxes of cake making stuff
1 x big plastic storage box of bits of pretty wrapping paper that is added to each year, just in case we need a scrap of pretty paper
1 x storage drawers containing scraps of ribbon, string, a tiny sewing machine, stamps, ink, coloured card, glittery glue and all manner of crafty stuff
25 x balls of wool from that year she started learning to knit
1 x medium plastic storage box full of gift bags, containing other gift bags
1 x air compressor, 3 x spray guns, 6 x paint stuff (unopened)

The only thing that actually annoys me is whenever I'm in here (the office) I end up covered in glitter somehow. It's like the herpes of the craft world that stuff.

Sounds like you've bagged yourself an absolute keeper there. Mine also has the inability to load a dishwasher, I don't say anything just reload it - she then comes into the kitchen and asks where all the extra washing up is whereupon I explain I just reloaded the dishwasher, this elicits the response, "Oh you think you're so clever don't you?!". Actually no I don't but I do appear to have grasped the fairly simple life skill of essentially putting stuff in a box.

 

[spongy]

My wife is useless as a human being.

She will not empty the bin. She'll just keep ramming stuff in until it's about to pop. Then it's too heavy for me lift the liner out without it splitting open everywhere.

She won't separate the recycling from normal rubbish. Or wash out empty jars so there's seepage into the bag for life we use that gets emptied into the communal recycling bins once a week. It stinks after 3 days so I end up throwing it away. Then getting moaned at for throwing it away as they cost a quid.

She is crap at hanging out washing. We don't have a garden so have to use airers. She'll just throw stuff on it and wonder why it takes forever to dry and is very creased. I now hang my t-shirts and shirts up on hangers on the airer so I don't have to iron too much stuff.

She doesn't iron. Ever. If I need to I get a "ooh, whilst you're doing that can you just....."

No. I can't. Do your own bloody ironing you lazy cow.

When she just gets undressed she leaves her vest tops inside the outer top so I have to separate them before washing. I've told her 100's of times. She still doesn't do it. So now I get moaned at for putting her white vest tops in with my dirty work clothes turning them grey. Tough shite love. I've told you and now I can't be bothered with it.

She also has a habit of rolling her leggings down taking them off and not unrolling them when they go in the wash basket. They get washed like that now. And she wonders why there's white streaks of washing powder on them when they come out.

The flat smelled a bit the other day due to the skanky recycling bag so before she left for work instead of using a can of air freshener she decided to use furniture polish "for a change.

We have laminate flooring. I couldn't figure out why our living room and hallway had turned into a bloody ice rink when just wearing socks. It's been lethal and nearly come a cropper several times.

When I'm up early I creep around the house like a ninja trying not to wake our 3yo daughter up. She's the loudest thing on earth. Filling the kettle to the brim at full speed. Banging it on the base trying to get it to sit right. Then she gets the hump wondering why our little girl is always up exactly 5 minutes after her.

I could carry on but I'm trying to watch Celebrity Masterchef.

 

[Iggle Piggle]

That's just a standard issue MAN DRAWER isn't it?

Before marriage I had a house.

Before kids I had an office.

I'm thankful for my drawer. This time last year I had NUFFINK.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Does yours also have a drawer full of plastic bags, "just in case" and keeps adding to it? Why not just get a ****ing bag for life?

W have numerous bags for life, which we leave in the porch, and when we go to the supermarket we have to buy more bags for life.

Agree also with the clutter issue, coupled with drawers full of shite that 'will be sorted'.

Me, I am practically a monk.





Or the baby eating bishop of Bath and Welles....

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

My wife is useless as a human being.

She will not empty the bin. She'll just keep ramming stuff in until it's about to pop. Then it's too heavy for me lift the liner out without it splitting open everywhere.

She won't separate the recycling from normal rubbish. Or wash out empty jars so there's seepage into the bag for life we use that gets emptied into the communal recycling bins once a week. It stinks after 3 days so I end up throwing it away. Then getting moaned at for throwing it away as they cost a quid.

She is crap at hanging out washing. We don't have a garden so have to use airers. She'll just throw stuff on it and wonder why it takes forever to dry and is very creased. I now hang my t-shirts and shirts up on hangers on the airer so I don't have to iron too much stuff.

She doesn't iron. Ever. If I need to I get a "ooh, whilst you're doing that can you just....."

No. I can't. Do your own bloody ironing you lazy cow.

When she just gets undressed she leaves her vest tops inside the outer top so I have to separate them before washing. I've told her 100's of times. She still doesn't do it. So now I get moaned at for putting her white vest tops in with my dirty work clothes turning them grey. Tough shite love. I've told you and now I can't be bothered with it.

She also has a habit of rolling her leggings down taking them off and not unrolling them when they go in the wash basket. They get washed like that now. And she wonders why there's white streaks of washing powder on them when they come out.

The flat smelled a bit the other day due to the skanky recycling bag so before she left for work instead of using a can of air freshener she decided to use furniture polish "for a change.

We have laminate flooring. I couldn't figure out why our living room and hallway had turned into a bloody ice rink when just wearing socks. It's been lethal and nearly come a cropper several times.

When I'm up early I creep around the house like a ninja trying not to wake our 3yo daughter up. She's the loudest thing on earth. Filling the kettle to the brim at full speed. Banging it on the base trying to get it to sit right. Then she gets the hump wondering why our little girl is always up exactly 5 minutes after her.

I could carry on but I'm trying to watch Celebrity Masterchef.

Bet you love her though?

 

[spongy]

Bet you love her though?��

Most of the time. I also find myself counting to 10 quite a lot too.

She also doesn't know how to put a teabag in the bin. She just leaves them on the draining board next to the sink staining it brown. Next week I am going to conduct an experiment. I'm going to take a photo with a post it note next to the pile denoting how many days it will build up for before I either tell her to throw them away or give in and end up doing it myself.

 

[Freddie Goodwin.]

It's the inability to think ahead that gets me the waiting at a bus stop or in a supermarket queue and the realisation that they have to pay and where would the money be? Well, in a purse which will be buried in a bag.

 

[narly101]

It's the inability to think ahead that gets me the waiting at a bus stop or in a supermarket queue and the realisation that they have to pay and where would the money be? Well, in a purse which will be buried in a bag.

That literally happened to me this morning. Twice. Two women getting on the same bus, at different stops both had to rummage around inside their TARDIS bags for their bus pass, added minutes onto the journey FFS!

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

Most of the time. I also find myself counting to 10 quite a lot too.

She also doesn't know how to put a teabag in the bin. She just leaves them on the draining board next to the sink staining it brown. Next week I am going to conduct an experiment. I'm going to take a photo with a post it note next to the pile denoting how many days it will build up for before I either tell her to throw them away or give in and end up doing it myself.

My wife has never emptied the bins,ever.
My wife never cleans the car I bought her for my birthday treat two years ago.
My wife never cleans our garage.
My wife never empties the recycling bin.
My wife never cleans our the car tray.
My wife never chucks out her Next shopping guides ( I can only do it when she is out and then have to sneak it into the neighbour's bins)
My wife never clears her paperwork and post from the kitchen (she may need that receipt for petrol from May 2014 one day)
My wife has more cookery books, recepies, magazines than there are enough days left to use them all
My wife washes everything inside out. That is so annoying.
My wife does not understand that a man needs N+1 bicycles (N = number of current bicycles in possession)
My wife has NEVER cleaned the fireplace
My wife does not understand why Kraftwerk sound so good


.......My wife agreed it was a good idea to cut our holiday short by a day so I could go to the Man City game

My wife asked what baguette I would like for the train journey to Arsenal in 1\10

My wife has lovely pillows

I love her ������

 

[Badger]

That literally happened to me this morning. Twice. Two women getting on the same bus, at different stops both had to rummage around inside their TARDIS bags for their bus pass, added minutes onto the journey FFS!

Probably the same style of bag which the woman who stood next to me on the subway this morning had. She was completely oblivious to the fact it was bashing against me every 5 seconds. She seemed quite angry when I "accidentally" elbowed said bag on my way out of the train.

 

[Bry Nylon]

Before marriage I had a house.

Before kids I had an office.

I'm thankful for my drawer.

 

[spongy]

My wife washes everything inside out. That is so annoying.

To be fair I think you're actually supposed to wash clothes inside out. Especially colours. Supposed to help keep the colours vibrant for longer or something.

 

[BN9 BHA]

I can't speak for all women of course, but the one I'm married to is wholly incapable of loading a dishwasher. She seems to have a rule of thumb along the lines of 'put as little as possible in, whilst taking up the maximum space and ensuring nothing can get cleaned properly'. She puts things in that are so high they stop the sprayer rotating. When I complain she just moans about how bad the dishwasher is. Honestly, it's staggering.

On a similar note, she constantly puts hot pans on the worktop, doesn't bother using a chopping board, etc. At our last place she spilled oven cleaner all over the wooden worktop and didn't bother to wipe it up immediately. Despite my constant warnings. I came home to two massive black burn marks. Had to sand and re-oil the thing.

ANOTHER thing that winds me up no end; she hates having dirty plates etc on the worktop, so will pile it all in the sink and fill the sink with water. She doesn't scrape any food etc off, just puts everything in the sink, totally randomly stacked and fills it up. Everything then gets covered in a layer of grease, and is thus ten times harder to clean than it ordinarily would have been.

When cooking, her approach is; 'why use one pan when I can use NINE'.

AND ALSO. Wait, how long have I got? Can this thread be just for me to moan please?

Sounds like one of my teenage sons.

 

[South Stand Bonfire]

To be fair I think you're actually supposed to wash clothes inside out. Especially colours. Supposed to help keep the colours vibrant for longer or something.

Don't you start! I was after moral support. You'll be telling me it's normal to keep ketchup and all jams in the fridge next ( which I should have included on the list).