NMH
Banned
I wouldn't advocate pushing natural feelings aside. However, it sounds like you have developed ONE good relationship out of two - so because there's a bad relationship with the mother you have to disregard the son.
In the USA there is the 'Big Brothers' organisation, where you 'adopt' a child as a friend and you become a voluntary mentor.
It does sound like the 'love-affair' is forgettable - but you could do worse than brush aside such trivialities and enjoy the friendship with the son .....and make yourself an available friend to him. He is probably having trouble with the concept of role-models who just abruptly fade away, and anyway you also seem to have got something of value from the lad's company.
Unless your presence is going to alienate the son/mother relationship, I'd suggest spare a few hours a week to take the lad to games, kickabouts, fishing, shopping or whatever you enjoy on a mutual level. You don't have to become a council to the kid, but it might come naturally - and you might actually find this relationship more valuable than the one with his Mum anyway. Who knows, getting out with the lad might even help you meet other women, especially at single-parent-type functions like school football matches and stuff.
In the USA there is the 'Big Brothers' organisation, where you 'adopt' a child as a friend and you become a voluntary mentor.
It does sound like the 'love-affair' is forgettable - but you could do worse than brush aside such trivialities and enjoy the friendship with the son .....and make yourself an available friend to him. He is probably having trouble with the concept of role-models who just abruptly fade away, and anyway you also seem to have got something of value from the lad's company.
Unless your presence is going to alienate the son/mother relationship, I'd suggest spare a few hours a week to take the lad to games, kickabouts, fishing, shopping or whatever you enjoy on a mutual level. You don't have to become a council to the kid, but it might come naturally - and you might actually find this relationship more valuable than the one with his Mum anyway. Who knows, getting out with the lad might even help you meet other women, especially at single-parent-type functions like school football matches and stuff.