Song titles or lyrics that are palpably untrue.

[Pevenseagull]

Bon Jovi, from "Wanted Dead or Alive"

"I'm a cowboy"


no you're not, you're a wanker

 

[The Large One]

Serial liar Weller again...

'In the city, there's a thousand things I wanna say to you...' SAKE. What's wrong with thw telephone? Or saying it out in the sticks?

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Easy..............Bum-banging legend Mercury actually screams Scaramouche, not that this makes any more sense, but then addled with all mind-bending drugs he had taken and oxygen deficiency from the pillow smothering, i hardly think we should be surprised.

 

[The Large One]

‘My old man said be a Palace fan’

NO HE DIDN’T. My Dad utterly loves and respects me, and I utterly love and respect him. If he had said that, father or not, I would not have sworn at him, I would have SLICED him.

 

[Gritt23]

I see a little silhouette-o of a man
Scalamoosh Scalamoosh will you do the fandango


Now come on Queen, this is just f***ing gibberish.

I always thought he went on to sing .....

"Be-elzebub, has a devil for a sideboard."

but that was just me not listening properly.

 

[Digweeds Trousers]

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord.

Well I i'm not having that.

 

[Gazwag]

Fly me to the moon
Let me sing among those stars
Let me see what spring is like
On jupiter and mars

Frankie, Frankie, Frankie - You couldn't fly to the moon in 1964 you twat.

You dont' have to go to Jupiter and Mars to find out that Spring is bloody freezing. Just think how far they are from the sun.

Another one who didn't pay attention at school.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Lionel Richie claimed oh what a feeling when you're dancing on the ceiling. Well Mr Richie the only feeling I had was the one of agony as I fell head first to the floor.

 

[Withnail]

Lord almighty I feel my temerature rising
higher & higher it's burning through to my soul
girl girl girl you're going to set me on fire
my brain is flaming I don't know which way to go

it's coming closer the flames are now licking my body
won't you help me I feel like I'm slipping away
it's so hard to breath my chest is a heaving
lord have mercy I'm burning the whole day.


After that you would have expected, quite rightly, that Elvis was cremated. But no, it turns out he was buried. All lies.

 

[Easy 10]

I admit I was spelling it phonetically D T - I was just too annoyed to go to the trouble of a Google search to confirm the correct spelling. The way I see it, that mincing buck-toothed bender and his obscure meaningless lyrics is definately fair game on here.

And congrats on kicking off one of the best threads I have seen on here in a long while. The scope is almost infinate - you have created a MONSTER.

 

[Barnet Seagull]

Ringo Starr reliably informs me that him and the rest of the Beatles all live in a yellow submarine.

I'm guessing if he wasn't bullshitting me, that by now it would've started to smell a bit.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

The Beatles believed that Strawberry Fields were forever, unfortunately Tesco has built a superstore on them.

 

[Gritt23]

Queen again ...

"200 degrees, that's why they call me Mr. Farenheight,
I'm travelling at the speed of light."

No you are NOT !!! I'll ignore the temperature, as I'm not 100% what you believe is 200 degrees, but the speed of light bit, I'm just not having that.

 

[Marc]

The BOSS that is Bruce Springsteen with the lyric "57 channels and nothing on"

Sorry LEGEND but you are wrong as not only are there shitloads more that 57 channels but theres always something ON no matter how crap it maybe!

 

[Gazwag]

I want to hold your hand screamed the Beatles.

Now if I called them bi-sexual for wanting to hold my hand they would have me in court, but its their lies that started it

 

[Theatre of Trees]

Kiss me with your lips claimed Stephen 'Tin Tin' Duffy on his 1985 hit Kiss me. What else would he use to kiss somebody?

 

[Tesco in Disguise]

"i am the walrus..."

course you are, john.

 

[Theatre of Trees]

It's mans world exclaimed James Brown. Well it is now you're in jail James.

 

[Marc]

"Young girl, get out of my mind, my love for you is way out of line"

damn f***ing right its out of line mate, thats brindging on paedophilia and singing about it will only get you behind bars!

 

[Schrödinger's Toad]

Queen have a lot to answer for ...

"The bell that rings inside your mind
Is challenging the doors of time
It's a kind of magic"

No, it's a kind of mental instability.


"Oh ev'ry night and every day
A little piece of you is falling away"

That would be leprousy.