paul & shark
New member
- Sep 17, 2013
- 192
Well how long has this been ? Not since last September did the Love Shark beast a new Pip. The fat bird on the counter at work. Since then things were rekindled with Mrs Shark and therefore affairs of the flange were put to one side. I'd hung up my sausage if you please.....
However, things have been shit of late. The relationship at home with Mrs Dog has badly deteriorated. Only one thing for it wasnt there ? Correct, a new secret profile on Plenty of Fish. The stomping ground for hungry beaver. A week in and I've collected about 8 new numbers and last night opened up a new campaign in the shape of Hannah, 31, from Hove.
Lovely girl. Not my usual bush pig. Quiet, thoughtful, delecate, upon first meeting her the chances of a poke appeared remote, but the Love Shark has powers of persuasion.
So under the pretence of going to the Brighton match I head down to meet Hannah who's a mere 2 miles away from where I live. A quiet, leafy suburb of Hove. There she is outside the Co-op as we arranged. You'll do nicely love, your not going to break the suspension on my car, get in you tart
We head up to a local boozer, find a quiet corner and begin our courtship. Very timid is our Hannah, but she only orders half a lager so she's a cheap date Don't you hate it when they want a large glass of Pinot, £6 a chuck. I'm the typical tight first ****. So she sips her Fosters like a little mouse and we talk about work, holidays, family blah blah blah.....She's from Sheffield originally, only just moved to the sunny climes of Hove, but I have warmed to that peculiar accent they have.
About 3 rounds in and Hannah is warming up a little I sense. Hello, what is this, she moves in a little closer, holds my hand and says, "I'm really glad I met up with you today...." Well me too Hannah, especially if I get to tickle your little box later
We await the football scores to roll through on the screens dotted around the boozer. She's suddenly developed a yearning for Brighton to get a result today to put a smile on my face even though she knows **** all about football...."What league are you in now
" Shut up now or I'll bum you over the table in front of all these people....And when Brighton pop in a winner on 95 mins or whatever the **** it was the **** leapt off the seat. Embarrassment ensues....
So we head back to hers. I was a little surprised by her invitation. I thought this afternoon may simply be a little groundwork for better things to come. But she's become increasingly attentive, her cheeky fingers have been stroking the back of my neck and the slow lingering kiss we'd shared just before we left the pub suggested a little hanky panky may be on the cards.
Settling down to a bottle of red (fine choice Sheffield Bird) we talk a little more and I'm beginning to really enjoy her company. The house is immaculate unlike some of the rat pits I've previously encountered. I remember one bird's flat in the centre of Whitehawk that looked like it had played host to a rugby match. Festering boxes of take-away food strewn across the floor. I should have chucked that **** out of the high rise window.... Still rumped it like.
Now the red wine has completely stripped away Hannah's earlier apprehension. In fact I can't shut the **** up now I shuffle over to her and kissing slowly cup one of her tits. Not a lot to grab hold of here, seen more tit on a fish as my old Granny used to say. I move further down for a stroke of the pie through her tight leggings. Zero resistance and that spine tingling moan in my ear. Gentleman, fire your engines, we are moving in.....
Slipping my fingers into in her pants she gasps as I stroke her damp clam. She wrestles with my belt and zip and expertly pulls out my chap. Her dainty fingers look good around the old sword. Here we go Hannah, I'm now going to introduce you to my secret weapon. Yes here it is, the Turbo Tongue. I whip her leggings off, carry her onto the carpet and go downstairs for a taste of the burger. Lovely it is too, I've waited 11 months for this, Hubba Hubba, the pipe is dripping....
She's now urging me to slide in the chap and who am I to refuse a delectable lady such as Hannah. She gets her wish and I strobe it hard as her legs bounce unceremoniously across my back. 11 months of anticipation empties into her love purse. I'm done in seconds
We spend a further couple of hours nattering, kissing, watching shit TV and just before I leave we have another frantic poke as I bend her over the sofa and take her full tilt from behind. This time she climaxes noisily and shouts obscenities at me. Always the quiet ones aint it. A thoroughly enjoyable evening has been had by all
Tales from the Shark Side, thanks for listening
However, things have been shit of late. The relationship at home with Mrs Dog has badly deteriorated. Only one thing for it wasnt there ? Correct, a new secret profile on Plenty of Fish. The stomping ground for hungry beaver. A week in and I've collected about 8 new numbers and last night opened up a new campaign in the shape of Hannah, 31, from Hove.
Lovely girl. Not my usual bush pig. Quiet, thoughtful, delecate, upon first meeting her the chances of a poke appeared remote, but the Love Shark has powers of persuasion.
So under the pretence of going to the Brighton match I head down to meet Hannah who's a mere 2 miles away from where I live. A quiet, leafy suburb of Hove. There she is outside the Co-op as we arranged. You'll do nicely love, your not going to break the suspension on my car, get in you tart
We head up to a local boozer, find a quiet corner and begin our courtship. Very timid is our Hannah, but she only orders half a lager so she's a cheap date Don't you hate it when they want a large glass of Pinot, £6 a chuck. I'm the typical tight first ****. So she sips her Fosters like a little mouse and we talk about work, holidays, family blah blah blah.....She's from Sheffield originally, only just moved to the sunny climes of Hove, but I have warmed to that peculiar accent they have.
About 3 rounds in and Hannah is warming up a little I sense. Hello, what is this, she moves in a little closer, holds my hand and says, "I'm really glad I met up with you today...." Well me too Hannah, especially if I get to tickle your little box later
We await the football scores to roll through on the screens dotted around the boozer. She's suddenly developed a yearning for Brighton to get a result today to put a smile on my face even though she knows **** all about football...."What league are you in now
" Shut up now or I'll bum you over the table in front of all these people....And when Brighton pop in a winner on 95 mins or whatever the **** it was the **** leapt off the seat. Embarrassment ensues....So we head back to hers. I was a little surprised by her invitation. I thought this afternoon may simply be a little groundwork for better things to come. But she's become increasingly attentive, her cheeky fingers have been stroking the back of my neck and the slow lingering kiss we'd shared just before we left the pub suggested a little hanky panky may be on the cards.
Settling down to a bottle of red (fine choice Sheffield Bird) we talk a little more and I'm beginning to really enjoy her company. The house is immaculate unlike some of the rat pits I've previously encountered. I remember one bird's flat in the centre of Whitehawk that looked like it had played host to a rugby match. Festering boxes of take-away food strewn across the floor. I should have chucked that **** out of the high rise window.... Still rumped it like.
Now the red wine has completely stripped away Hannah's earlier apprehension. In fact I can't shut the **** up now I shuffle over to her and kissing slowly cup one of her tits. Not a lot to grab hold of here, seen more tit on a fish as my old Granny used to say. I move further down for a stroke of the pie through her tight leggings. Zero resistance and that spine tingling moan in my ear. Gentleman, fire your engines, we are moving in.....
Slipping my fingers into in her pants she gasps as I stroke her damp clam. She wrestles with my belt and zip and expertly pulls out my chap. Her dainty fingers look good around the old sword. Here we go Hannah, I'm now going to introduce you to my secret weapon. Yes here it is, the Turbo Tongue. I whip her leggings off, carry her onto the carpet and go downstairs for a taste of the burger. Lovely it is too, I've waited 11 months for this, Hubba Hubba, the pipe is dripping....
She's now urging me to slide in the chap and who am I to refuse a delectable lady such as Hannah. She gets her wish and I strobe it hard as her legs bounce unceremoniously across my back. 11 months of anticipation empties into her love purse. I'm done in seconds
We spend a further couple of hours nattering, kissing, watching shit TV and just before I leave we have another frantic poke as I bend her over the sofa and take her full tilt from behind. This time she climaxes noisily and shouts obscenities at me. Always the quiet ones aint it. A thoroughly enjoyable evening has been had by all
Tales from the Shark Side, thanks for listening
