Slow News Day At The Dartford News Shopper

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Dartford mother grows strawberry in shape of a penis

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10537534.Dartford_mother_grows_strawberry_in_shape_of_a_penis/?ref=mr

 

[TSB]

Slow day? The Argus would KILL for a lead like that

 

[Spun Cuppa]

Classic!

 

[Fef]

So, who wants to recycle the Blackadder punchline?

 

[Cheshire Cat]

and this one, Some death defying photos.


http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/?ref=mr

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

and this one, kinky goings on in Erith.

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/1..._to_lick_commuter_s_ankles_on_a_train/?ref=mr

 

[Kumquat]

So, who wants to recycle the Blackadder punchline?

I'll hazard a guess. Was it something about cream?

 

[Spun Cuppa]

'I've got a willy shaped like a turnip...' (I think?)

 

[Oscar]

Tomorrow they're running a story about fella who has a penis that looks like a strawberry.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

'And that's just the tip of the iceberg...' (um, maybe)

 

[RowleyBirkinQ.C(deceased)]

I'll hazard a guess. Was it something about cream?

No it wasn't but ironically I've got a penis shaped like a strawberry

 

[TSB]

and this one, kinky goings on in Erith.

http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/1..._to_lick_commuter_s_ankles_on_a_train/?ref=mr

Spigno had infuriated Judge Peter Clarke by turning up an hour late for court and blamed 'the wind' for slowing down his bicycle.

When his offence was being described Spigno yelled: 'All this talk is not relevant' and was told he would be sent to the cells if his outbursts continued.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

and this one, Some death defying photos.


http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/10534660.Catford_fox_horror_for_man_on_toilet/?ref=mr

Not to mention some award-winning quotes...

'Mr Schofield, who lives in Ringstead Road, said: "I didn’t even have time to wipe myself.'

'Mr Schofield added: "It was so frightening. It was like a wild animal.'