[Football] Should we be targeting bald players on the continent?

[Doc Lynam]

Given the way the Latin based countries love their free flowing locks, should we be targeting bald players on the continent?

I know what you're thinking, interesting hypothesis tell me more...

Well arguably our best player in the last decade has been Bruno, how the hell did we get him in the championship? Some would say being mates with Vicente but if we use a little less objectivity and a bit more subjectivity, its clear he'd had enough of his peer group and not to mention the very real possibility of sun burn.

Why not come to a country where baldness has been celebrated for many years, most notably by Duncan Goodhew, Patrick Stewart, Jason Statham, that guy from cold feet and Elton John to name a few.

Much the way the religious divide was exploited in transfers up in Scotland by Jock Stein, maybe this is the secret weapon we've needed in the market all along.


this only works in hot & Latin based countries

 

[Thunder Bolt]

You do realise Bruno shaves his head? Look carefully and he isn't as bald as you think.

 

[Doc Lynam]

You do realise Bruno shaves his head? Look carefully and he isn't as bald as you think.

He's bald enough....

 

[Thunder Bolt]

He's bald enough....

In which case, insist all the first team shave their heads, and it will improve their performances.

 

[Doc Lynam]

In which case, insist all the first team shave their heads, and it will improve their performances.

That's the sort of blue sky thinking that's going to keep us up.

 

[METALMICKY]

That's the sort of blue sky thinking that's going to keep us up.

Nearly brilliant but surely in conjunction with this all players will just need to be known by a single name. Surname or Christian name only or perhaps just a dedicated playing name like the Brazilians sometimes use.

 

[Nigella's Cream Pie]

Given the way the Latin based countries love their free flowing locks, should we be targeting bald players on the continent?

I know what you're thinking, interesting hypothesis tell me more...

Well arguably our best player in the last decade has been Bruno, how the hell did we get him in the championship? Some would say being mates with Vicente but if we use a little less objectivity and a bit more subjectivity, its clear he'd had enough of his peer group and not to mention the very real possibility of sun burn.

Why not come to a country where baldness has been celebrated for many years, most notably by Duncan Goodhew, Patrick Stewart, Jason Statham, that guy from cold feet and Elton John to name a few.

Much the way the religious divide was exploited in transfers up in Scotland by Jock Stein, maybe this is the secret weapon we've needed in the market all along.


this only works in hot & Latin based countries

Interesting that apart from Bruno, you don't name any bald footballers - because they don't go bald until their 30s at least

 

[Knocky's Nose]

In which case, insist all the first team shave their heads, and it will improve their performances.

It would certainly reduce drag, thus giving them more energy in the later stages of the game.

 

[Goldstone1976]

The more bald players we have, the more I'll feel I belong. #Together

 

[Hove Lagoonery]

Interesting that apart from Bruno, you don't name any bald footballers - because they don't go bald until their 30s at least

and even then not completely

 

[GT49er]

Nearly brilliant but surely in conjunction with this all players will just need to be known by a single name. Surname or Christian name only or perhaps just a dedicated playing name like the Brazilians sometimes use.

Bernardo?

 

[Fungus]

The more bald players we have, the more I'll feel I belong. #Together

This. And beards. Long beards. And glasses. And knee supports.

 

[Easy 10]

I'd be quite excited if we signed Jonjo Shelvey.

 

[Stat Brother]

In which case, insist all the first team shave their heads, and it will improve their performances.

Other than the simple FACT that Proppers form fell off a cliff the moment he had his hair cut.

Perhaps the rest of the squad should shave their heads and stick the detritus on Davy.

Win win.

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Continental barbers OUT

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Nearly brilliant but surely in conjunction with this all players will just need to be known by a single name. Surname or Christian name only or perhaps just a dedicated playing name like the Brazilians sometimes use.

I can see how Frederico Rodrigues de Paula Santos wouldn't easily fit on the back of a shirt. But FRED just looks

 

[ConfusedGloryHunter]

Bobby Charlton?

 

[SollysLeftFoot]

In which case, insist all the first team shave their heads, and it will improve their performances.

But Murray has spent so much money on his hair...

 

[Sussexscots]

Nearly brilliant but surely in conjunction with this all players will just need to be known by a single name. Surname or Christian name only or perhaps just a dedicated playing name like the Brazilians sometimes use.

Don't think we need to go that far

If they are bald, we should make them sign papers to say they won't have a hair transplant.

Wayne Rooney's form fell off after he had his.

 

[Doc Lynam]

Don't think we need to go that far

If they are bald, we should make them sign papers to say they won't have a hair transplant.

Wayne Rooney's form fell off after he had his.

And Zola turned out to be a crap manager once he sorted his barnet out, there’s more to this then meets the eye!