[Misc] Sayings your old mum or dad said.

[The Clamp]

My gran, who has survived my parents and is going strong at 97 has some good ones;

“Never take an idiot with you, you can always find one when you get there”.

“I’m not an octopus” (I can’t do everything at once)

“He’d charge you for looking in the mirror” (he’s a miser).

“I won’t be rushed”

“If you’ve nothing nice to say, come and sit next to me”

“Who got her ready”? (When a lady looks a shabby mess).

“You’re no better or worse than any of us”

“If you don’t like sugar, don’t stir it”. (She put sugar in everyone’s tea) .


She is a kind and lovely lady. The only sane one in my whole family. She moved to live with my aunt in Australia five years ago and I’ve never missed anyone like I miss her.

 

[Ooh it’s a corner]

If you’re alright I don’t want to be - said by my Dad on many occasions when I was over-zealous about an Albion goal/result etc

 

[vegster]

Ordering our Thai take away tonight I thought of what my old mum would have said to me……. Gawd blimey your eyes are bigger than your belly.

Rice with dinner ? Rice is only good for pudding.

 

[Eric the meek]

My mum uses to say:

'All this pornography gives me the willies'.

 

[Knightsworld]

Turn off the lights, It's like Blackpool illuminations in here. Was a regular from my Mum.

 

[aberllefenni]

"Don't come the old acid with me," was a favourite of my nan's. For something a little more local "he/she's got a mouth like Clayton tunnel," referring to anyone excessively loud.

 

[Insel affe]

My grans were
“Tuppence for your thoughts”
“Never argue with an idiot, they will beat you with experience”
when buying something a bit expensive “Theres no pockets in shrouds“

Dad when annoyed “oh shit in a biscuit tin” & “f*** a duck”

Step mum “you can choose your friends, but not your relatives”
that was a dig at me most of the time.

 

[Weststander]

It’s an ill wind (that blows nobody any good).​

[That didn’t really say it, but I wish they had. It sounds so dramatic and telling]

Neither a borrower, nor a lender be.​

[My mum said this, criticising my dad for lending things to folk who then appropriated them eg vinyls.


You couldn't knock the skin off a rice pudding.

 

[US Seagull]

Ordering our Thai take away tonight I thought of what my old mum would have said to me……. Gawd blimey your eyes are bigger than your belly.

When we'd have my Nan over for a Sunday roast she would always complain that we'd given her a "navvy's dinner"

 

[US Seagull]

I'll give you a clip round the ear 'ole

My mum will still tell me that I'm not too big for a good-hiding

But her favorite, and most annoying is when ever you'd say "I thought..." she'd say "well you know what thought did!"

Thing is, I never did. And I'm pretty sure she didn't either since when I challenged her on it all she could come up with was "he thought he'd shit himself, but he hadn't, he only thought he had"

I did, a while back, actually look up the "what thought did" phrase and there are several versions.

 

[DavidinSouthampton]

There’s nowt as queer as folk.

and ahead of her time given she died in 1970: “we‘re all the same under the skin”. For a gentle soul, she was very forthright about racism.

 

[zefarelly]

Dad, upon embarking out for a haircut 'Just off to have my ears lowered'.

Mum always called chewing gum 'choody'.

Oops, I said that last week.

After my lad said, "Dad what doesyour hair only grow long at the sides!'

 

[Frankie]

Do you want to feel the back of my hand across your cheek young lady!

I just wish I'd of replied no thanks Dad I'll pass on that if I may.

 

[Arthur]

Looking a bit black over our Will's Mother's.

Seems to be Bill in other versions.

Was Will in our household. Still don't have a clue who Will/Bill is/was?

 

[Insel affe]

Looking a bit black over our Will's Mother's.

Seems to be Bill in other versions.

Germany's foreign policy at that time echoed Wilhelm's changeable and blustering character, according to the Open University. Black Country poet Brendan Hawthorne said: "If there was stormy weather coming from the East they would say it's black over Bill's

so wil would work.
mainly a northern saying, only ever heard it down hear from northerners.

 

[Giraffe]

When talking about blue sky my mother frequently says "there is not enough to make a pair of sailors trousers". I like it.

 

[essbee1]

My Mum is, and my Dad was completely obsessed with using the word 'incidentally'.

 

[FamilyGuy]

I never drink water, fish f*** in it

A phrase that I've often used myself - including in a restaurant on Barbados and the waitress called the manager to our table.
I was very worried when she got me to tell him what I'd said, until i realised that it was because she thought it was hilarious!

 

[FamilyGuy]

"Now go back and wash your hands!"

 

[Worried Man Blues]

When we drove past a tramp, dad would say 'I wonder how Ken is?' (his brother)