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Sami Hyypia







Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
72,378
Sami Hyypia seems to work on the premise that whatever club he rocks up at, that club will GARNISH some points by way of the law of averages. Same as if me or thee were to rock up at that club. He doesn't seem to have twigged that it's up to him to make a positive impact after he gets given the gig by a starstruck board on account of his irrelevant big name player past..
 


Gullflyinghigh

Registered User
Apr 23, 2012
4,279
Nice fella, But quite simply the worst football manager of all time.

I wonder in fact, if statistically he is the worst Football manager of all time?!
Martin Hinshelwood? Not sure he really counts but...you know...not good.
 










Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,429
Location Location
Having heard his monotone, morose, coma-inducing post-match interviews, I am astonished that this chap somehow manages to sell himself during the course an interview, to the extent that he actually gets offered the job of managing a football club. HOW did he convince TB that he was the man for the job?

He delivers his prose with all the energy, verve and enthusiasm of a depressed bullied teenager behind the counter at McDonalds reading your order back to you, and carries the general demeanour of someone who's just been told their dog has been run over. Imagine listening to THAT for a half-time team talk when you're a goal down (as we generally were).

I'm sure he's good at something, but he's about as good at managing a football club as I am at windsurfing.
 


Tom Hark Preston Park

Will Post For Cash
Jul 6, 2003
72,378
Having heard his monotone, morose, coma-inducing post-match interviews, I am astonished that this chap somehow manages to sell himself during the course an interview, to the extent that he actually gets offered the job of managing a football club. HOW did he convince TB that he was the man for the job?

Yup, That's the weird thing. If any of us went for any kind of interview with that drab monotone non-enthusiasm for the task in hand, we'd be shown the door pronto tonto. Strongly suggests that board level interview panels are spellbound by interviewees non-relevant past as high-profile footballers. Would explain Sami. Would explain Poyet. Would explain Gary Neville and probably a hundred others also.
 




Easy 10

Brain dead MUG SHEEP
Jul 5, 2003
62,429
Location Location
Yup, That's the weird thing. If any of us went for any kind of interview with that drab monotone non-enthusiasm for the task in hand, we'd be shown the door pronto tonto. Strongly suggests that board level interview panels are spellbound by interviewees non-relevant past as high-profile footballers. Would explain Sami. Would explain Poyet. Would explain Gary Neville and probably a hundred others also.

Agree with the general point, but Poyet and Neville are also excellent communicators who come across with drive, energy, ideas and passion.

Whereas Hyypia, decorated player that he was, is the walking equivalent of morphine.
 




GT49er

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Feb 1, 2009
49,191
Gloucester
Nice fella, But quite simply the worst football manager of all time.

I wonder in fact, if statistically he is the worst Football manager of all time?!

Bit harsh - we've had a few to compete with him for that, George Curtis and Jimmy Case for starters - you could probably add Melia to that as well. And other big names have flopped as managers - Bobby Moore and Bobby Charlton were pretty useless as managers. My nomination for the worst of the lot would have to be awarded to Spurs though - step forward Christian Gross!
 




Seagull1989

Well-known member
Oct 31, 2011
1,204
I thought the common conception was that it all went downhill once his assistant walked?

I've got German inlaws and remember them saying something about it all going down hill when his assistant left . Think he was called Lewandowski or something ?
 


Stat Brother

Well-known member
NSC Patron
Jul 11, 2003
73,888
West west west Sussex
We've got a hell of a lot to be grateful to Sami for.

#SamiAlbionLegend
 


Wrong-Direction

Well-known member
Mar 10, 2013
13,640
Just get a job in the pound shop sami, less collateral damage..

Sent from my XT1032 using Tapatalk
 




Pinkie Brown

Wir Sind das Volk
Sep 5, 2007
3,637
Neues Zeitalter DDR 🇩🇪
I've got German inlaws and remember them saying something about it all going down hill when his assistant left . Think he was called Lewandowski or something ?

Yes, it was Sascha Lewandowski who sometime later went onto manage Union Berlin before resigning due to ill health. It won't come as a surprise, Lewandowski was always considered the brains of the partnership. The results proved that.

I had an idea they were joint managers rather than Lewandowski his assistant at B.L.? I known when Sami ballsed it all up, Lewandowski was brought back in on an interim basis to clear up the mess.
 




Murray 17

Well-known member
Jul 6, 2003
2,163
Having heard his monotone, morose, coma-inducing post-match interviews...

He delivers his prose with all the energy, verve and enthusiasm of a depressed bullied teenager behind the counter at McDonalds reading your order back to you, and carries the general demeanour of someone who's just been told their dog has been run over.

[emoji23]

Sir, if they ever make another series of Blackadder, I'm putting your name forward for script-writing!
 








Suomi Hypoxia

Registered Lurker
Having heard his monotone, morose, coma-inducing post-match interviews, I am astonished that this chap somehow manages to sell himself during the course an interview, to the extent that he actually gets offered the job of managing a football club. HOW did he convince TB that he was the man for the job?

He delivers his prose with all the energy, verve and enthusiasm of a depressed bullied teenager behind the counter at McDonalds reading your order back to you, and carries the general demeanour of someone who's just been told their dog has been run over. Imagine listening to THAT for a half-time team talk when you're a goal down (as we generally were).

This. His post match interviews inspired my username, which of course went out of date when he resigned a couple of weeks later.
 


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