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Really awkward moment at urinals last night!!



B

Brighton till i die

You havin' a bubble?
Jan 31, 2004
7,611
On the terraces!!
Right so i was in the pub last night with family and my kids. When i went to go to the loo there was 3 urinals.

Straight away i had the hump as the bloke who was already in there decided it'd be a good idea for him to stand there, legs spread wide, hands on hips in the middle urinal - why do people do this when theres only 3?

So i thought great i've now had to stand almost shoulder touching this smarta**e. This is when the drama happened....

I dont usually suffer from stagefright but noticed he hadnt started his 'session' yet. I really needed to go but for the life of me it werent happening. Same thing was happening apparently with my new close neighbour. We must have both stood there for the best part of 60seconds (long time) with nothing happening, just staring dead straight not daring to make a noise or move head.

By this time im thinking i cant just leave, so im trying with all my might, and praise the lord eventually i managed start what id come to do. Strangley seconds later and it seemed he was ok too.

By far one of the most awkward and awful moments ive ever experience in a blokes toilet . Next time i'll use the shy boys room with the door
 






Grassman

Grassman

Well-known member
Jun 12, 2008
2,619
Tun Wells
In these situations you cannot beat the old fave of repeating the seven times table in your head - by the time you reach 49 everything is ok. Of course Crystal Palace fans may need to try something a little easier, start with the two times table.
 


















NMH

NMH

Banned
Jul 6, 2003
29,540
Walk-in fridge loaded with hot blondes - Stockholm
Back when Brighton had several gents bogs underground, at the Steine, Clock Tower and the station to name a few - a lad not living locally and spending a whole day in town would have to use the public facilities (which stank to hell).

How many bloody times I went to use one of tens of unoccupied urinals and suddenly there's some weirdo right next to me out of all the empty stalls to stand at.
Brighton earned its' reputation as a queer place some time ago.
I learned to pretend to be using the stall for a few seconds to make sure I could get on with peeing undisturbed, then when some bent toilet trawler wandered over I'd just walk away and use another stall.

Another thing of note was that in those insecure days, some geezers obviously feeling some threat to their machismo by even being in a men's lav, would have to do a huge loud "ccckkkkkk" and hock up a grolly and "sthpppah" spit as loudly as possible as if to make some sign of something, by doing so. Silly bloody twats.

However, back to this cool story bro's;
'Stage fright' is because you are aware of what the bloke next to you is doing. Since he was there first, the onus was on him to gerron-wi'-it and not mess about standing there like a statue. Maybe a dodgy prostate, and you should have mentioned to him to get that checked. That's the sort of thing you can discuss together as chaps, and he would be honoured to know that you cared.
Saying "nice circumcision mate" is a little too much though, perhaps get chatting about the football first.
 


Green Cross Code Man

Green Cross Code Man

Wunt be druv
Mar 30, 2006
20,753
Eastbourne
Brighton till i die said:
Exactly mate. What the f***? Standing there like he f***ing owned the place!!!
Click to expand...

Have you considered that there may have been someone else using the outer urinal prior to this? Therefore the chap at the middle urinal may have just taken the next one and not disobeyed the rules;)
 






chucky1973

chucky1973

New member
Nov 3, 2010
8,829
Crawley
Braders said:
time to dig out this old chestnut again

GameScene Free Online Games: The Urinal Game
Click to expand...

2 wrong for me.........for the record, I usually head to the cubicle to have a piss, had a mare of a situation about 6 years ago, when at a urinal, a man beside me (a little drunk it had to be said) pissed over my shoes (both) and for that reason and that reason alone, I now head for the cubicles.
 




















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