Real ale

[Simster]

Last night, I went out with friends to a pub in Wimbledon I never realised existed, despite living about half a mile away for several years.

It was a freehouse, real ale jobby, and looked like a small house. The real ales they served were tremendous pints. In fact, despite the seven pint haul, I have no hangover thiis lunchtime. So far so good.

However, my arse is in a right old two and eight. I've done three proper shits so far, and I can tell you that they absolutely STINK.

I'm trying to decide whether this is a price worth paying for having no hangover. Thoughts?

 

[clapham_gull]

Last night, I went out with friends to a pub in Wimbledon I never realised existed, despite living about half a mile away for several years.

It was a freehouse, real ale jobby, and looked like a small house. The real ales they served were tremendous pints. In fact, despite the seven pint haul, I have no hangover thiis lunchtime. So far so good.

However, my arse is in a right old two and eight. I've done three proper shits so far, and I can tell you that they absolutely STINK.

I'm trying to decide whether this is a price worth paying for having no hangover. Thoughts?

I have the same love/hate relationship with Harveys.

Tastes lovely on the night but plays havoc with my back passage.

 

[vegster]

I fear the copius amount imbibed may have led to an extinction event of digestive bacteria....this is your problem..

 

[Carrot Cruncher]

Last night, I went out with friends to a pub in Wimbledon I never realised existed, despite living about half a mile away for several years.

It was a freehouse, real ale jobby, and looked like a small house. The real ales they served were tremendous pints. In fact, despite the seven pint haul, I have no hangover thiis lunchtime. So far so good.

However, my arse is in a right old two and eight. I've done three proper shits so far, and I can tell you that they absolutely STINK.

I'm trying to decide whether this is a price worth paying for having no hangover. Thoughts?

So let me get this straight. You feel absolutely fine and you've got to read the paper 3 times on company time.

Do I REALLY need to justify this with an answer?

 

[Mendoza]

Hangover makes you feel shite whislt at work. Having a poo just means time away from the desk at work but not feeling rough

A win win situation, unless someone has pre warmed the seat before you visit

 

[Dick Knights Mumm]

SEVEN pints on a Thursday night ? Respect.

I had three delicious pints of Harveys Old last night. No hangover - and no problems with the old tubes either.

Swap a hangover for three dumps ? Every time.

 

[Trufflehound]

I fear the copius amount imbibed may have led to an extinction event of digestive bacteria....this is your problem..

That could explain the disappearance of the Common Skate as well.

 

[Perry Milkins]

Hangover makes you feel shite whislt at work. Having a poo just means time away from the desk at work but not feeling rough

A win win situation, unless someone has pre warmed the seat before you visit

...and odorised the fresh air

 

[vegster]

I have the same love/hate relationship with Harveys.

Tastes lovely on the night but plays havoc with my back passage.

Sleeping trouserless in a builders skip after a Harvfest does not help

 

[Simster]

Some excellent advice there, peppered with scientific fact and some very clear thinking from all contributors so far.

However, there are issues with what seems to be the general concensus. If you recall, I said my shit STINKS. This negates somewhat the benefit of reading the paper on company time. It's not just the default mild turd smell; it fills the entire trap with a quite rancid hum.

And yes Brettles, the third time I was presented with a pre-warmed seat. Not ideal.

 

[vegster]

Quick, close the thread.. the Harvey's Mafia awaken from their slumber...

 

[The Large One]

Stinking shit guarantees solitude, which is what you're on the potty for in the first place, surely?

 

[Simster]

Stinking shit guarantees solitude, which is what you're on the potty for in the first place, surely?

No, I'm on the potty to prevent some sort of pants accident with hilarious consequences.

Stinking shit guarantees that I feel I may need to vomit, and cannot concentrate on my reading material.

 

[CHAPPERS]

I never sit on a warm seat. NEVER.

 

[The Large One]

No, I'm on the potty to prevent some sort of pants accident with hilarious consequences.

Stinking shit guarantees that I feel I may need to vomit, and cannot concentrate on my reading material.

Jesus. That's bad.

Let me get back to you on that one.

 

[Chief Wiggum]

Last night, I went out with friends to a pub in Wimbledon I never realised existed, despite living about half a mile away for several years.

It was a freehouse, real ale jobby, and looked like a small house. The real ales they served were tremendous pints. In fact, despite the seven pint haul, I have no hangover thiis lunchtime. So far so good.

What's the pub called and where is it in Wimbledon?

 

[Carrot Cruncher]

Some excellent advice there, peppered with scientific fact and some very clear thinking from all contributors so far.

However, there are issues with what seems to be the general concensus. If you recall, I said my shit STINKS. This negates somewhat the benefit of reading the paper on company time. It's not just the default mild turd smell; it fills the entire trap with a quite rancid hum.

And yes Brettles, the third time I was presented with a pre-warmed seat. Not ideal.

Fair play, to be disgusted by the dropping of one's own bat is a serious situation indeed.

Based on this information, and being a scientist like what I am, some variables need to be considered. The main one bring the severity of the hangovers you get and how well it responds to the treatment of a few quids worth of lard in the form of a full English. If the answers are 'very bad' and 'not well', then I'd say that risking the chemical burns to the lungs is the option.

 

[Simster]

Trafalgar Freehouse Home

Cracking pints, Camra recommended, and it serves proper food for £6 a pop. It's actually just behind South Wimbledon tube and was remarkably good.

Ironically, it's toilets were SPARKLING clean.

 

[Simster]

Fair play, to be disgusted by the dropping of one's own bat is a serious situation indeed.

Based on this information, and being a scientist like what I am, some variables need to be considered. The main one bring the severity of the hangovers you get and how well it responds to the treatment of a few quids worth of lard in the form of a full English. If the answers are 'very bad' and 'not well', then I'd say that risking the chemical burns to the lungs is the option.

My hangovers are not normally all encompassing but do bring extended periods of lethagy to the table. The full English option provides light relief but ultimately does not really fullfill. Therefore, the nose/lung-paint strippage combo is the lesser of two evils, but I do still maintain that one should never ever listen to a proper beardy crusty real ale twat nobber when he states "what's not to like?" about whatever his childishly-named favourite tipple happens to be.

 

[Notters]

I've just produced this diagram, I hope it helps with your conundrum: