Put Motty out to pasture

[Blackcap]

The second any commentator uses the phrase "cometh the hour cometh the man" they should be instantly dismissed.

 

[jonny.rainbow]

Past it? I don't think he's ever been with it.

I remember him referring to Ronaldo as Romario three separate times in the 1998 World Cup.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

It's that girlish chuckle that Motty frequently drops into his commentary that gets me, as if he's slightly nervous that he might say something controversial and if he chuckles first, nobody will be offended.

"Well Mark, you have to say that <chuckle> some people might view Suarez's conduct as pretty close to <chuckle> simulation there?"

 

[sten_super]

I'm not Motson's greatest fan, but it's the summarisers that really do my nut in. Claridge is THE WORST, closely followed by Bright. The odd decent one that they have on seem to only get the crap gigs (I've heard Dean Kiely a few times and I think he's pretty good, for example). It was the same in the TV studio - Dixon was half-decent but left because he was behind Garth ruddy Crooks in the pecking order.

 

[JBizzle]

Unfortunately, my problem with almost all commentators (including Motty) is that they are no longer "commentators" but are now pundits "lite". They simply cannot resist giving you an opinion, like Jon Champion calling Suarez a "cheat". Just shut up!!

It actually all started when the Beeb chose Motty over Davies who was a master of understated commentary. Motty also now tries to shoehorn in his gimmick of a ludicrously obscure and uniteresting fact:

"Of course, this Mansfield Port Vale fixture has produced some interesting side notes. In the 1932 fixture, who can forget Tommy Hayes and his progressive use of the short back and sides haircut? Heh, heh, heeh..."

 

[Not Andy Naylor]

Saying that, Garth Crooks deserves a mention for being utterly UTTERLY deplorable.

An embarrassment. In the mid-80s he seemed a fairly intelligent footballer, which gave him scarcity value, but it turns out he's not that intelligent. I remember when England needed a draw in some Balkan capital to qualify for the finals of something-or-other. They got it, and afterwards Crooks rushed up to ?Sven? and yelled, "I can confirm that England have qualified!!!!" Actually the ref had confirmed it by blowing the final whistle.

Then there was the time when Avram Grant was bumped up to Chelsea manager from bibs'n'balls (or director of football or whatever) and the Beeb unwisely sent Crooks out on a "Who is Avram Grant" fact-finding mission. He announced on Football Focus that he was a good pick by Abramovich because "He speaks Russian." Now, I'd spoken to Avram when he was putting out the cones and reffing training matches at P*rtsm**th, and he'd talked about his Polish father, but he'd never mentioned the Russian or where he might have learned it. So I asked him next time I bumped into him, and he said: "Russian? No, never..." Crooks had just made it up, probably on the basis that Grant's heavy Israeli accent sounded a bit like a Russian one.

Crooks' only value on any programme now is that his head is now the shape of a football, which is sort of funny.

 

[catfish]

I also thought he was saying Anchovy. Time to put the old boy out to pasture.

 

[Fitzcarraldo]

Motson is a legend in the game and rightly isn't going anywhere.

How is he a legend? People treat him like he is a doddery old relative. He's just a commentator who's well past his sell by date.

Probably the worst thing about the BBC is that they keep presenters, pundits and commentators on far too long, and reward the them MASSIVE salaries for their stale opinions and running-through-the-motions presenting style. Take David Dimbleby at the last election. Did he REALLY need to be kept up all night? Was there NO ONE else at the BBC capable of taking over the reigns and presenting the coverage? Are the producers so scared of the big beasts of the BBC presenting world that they can't say no to them or replace them? If that is so it is a sorry state of affairs. I want insightful comment, not an old boys club.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Unfortunately, my problem with almost all commentators (including Motty) is that they are no longer "commentators" but are now pundits "lite". They simply cannot resist giving you an opinion, like Jon Champion calling Suarez a "cheat". Just shut up!!

Now you see I don't mind that, in fact I think it's a bit lame that ESPN have apologised for it. If a player is a cheat, which Suarez has been proven time and time again to be, why not call him out as one? I despise it when commentators come out with that pathetic FIFA-spawned euphemism "simulation".

Let's not fanny around the issue: if a player is cheating, he's cheating. Say it like it is.

 

[TWOCHOICEStom]

Get Aspinal in.

Warren Aspinal commentating on the World Cup Final would be something else.

 

[Biscuit]

Warren Aspinal commentating on the World Cup Final would be something else.

I'm trying to comprehend the names some of the Russian/Italian/Czech squad would enjoy.. He can't even get English names right! :ffspar:

 

[Brighton Breezy]

Motson is the Forsyth of the football world.

 

[Goldstone Rapper]

The thing that really gets me is when Motson tries to use an extended metaphor, such as one cup final when he tried to use public school terms to describe the players and the occasion. Cringeworthy.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Warren Aspinal commentating on the World Cup Final would be something else.

Is he going to the African Cup of Nations next week?

 

[Bevendean Hillbilly]

Claridge, however, can f*** RIGHT off.

Beyond me why anyone would pay attention to anything that mong says. Doesn't he still hold the record for getting the sack as pompey manager because they found him out as a twat?

He did of course, once wear the stripes for a magnificent 4 or 5 appearances but, if memory serves, he got into trouble with the local casinos and had to do one.

 

[Albumen]

He gets all the play wrong now too. The only bit I heard last night while I was having a 'clear out' was approaching half time. Genreal pauses and uninteresting stats (the world has now caught up and overtaken Motty), then I turned off the radio as he exploded:
"And there goes the half time whistle aND ITS CHELTENHAM TOWN 0 EVERTON 2!!!! "
Give up Motty. Please.

 

[house your seagull]

As an exile who listens to Seagulls World most weekends, over the past year Aspinall has become one of my favourite parts of the Albion experience.

Johnny Byrne is a miser who gives an air of apathy about it all. He's like a moody teenager with Cantor his happy-go-lucky Mum.

Aspinall sounds like he actually wants to be there, and through his scouting he knows a lot about the other teams and how Albion set up.

The Apsinallisms are just a bonus.

 

[brightonrock]

He is absolutely useless. Never appears to know what's going on or has just happened, starts every sentence with 'oh' as if he's permanently surprised, and in recent years has bizarrely started calling added time overtime. Institution? No, he's f***ing irritating and an instant reason to turn over so I'm not subjected to that girly little giggle.

"And, er, here's Gerrard, I think...oh and a shot...oh, saved...oh and suarez...oh and I think it's gone in!"

Yes John, the clue is when the ball's in the net you colossal fucktard.

 

[Lady Whistledown]

Yes John, the clue is when the ball's in the net you colossal fucktard.

To be fair, Clive Tyldesley called a goal in a Chelsea Champions League game recently when the ball had clearly gone wide and no Chelsea players were celebrating, so it's not just Motty who's crap in that regard.

 

[W.C.]

Bring in John Champion. Quality

a joke shirley?