Vankleek Hill Seagull
Well-known member
The announcement that Portsmouth Football Club are planning to build a new ground has provoked an outrage amongst the local population. They fear that life will never be the same again if the plans to develop the derelict marine scrapyards and surrounding wasteland into a state of the art stadium are allowed to go ahead.
"Those disused old boats and submarines are part of our maritime heritage", a spokesman said. "Some of those historic vessels have been rusting there untouched for more than fifty years and it's fascinating to watch them decay. I can think of nothing lovelier than watching the sun setting behind a pile of old scrap metal. I'm going to fight these plans every step of the way."
Others fear that the proposed new stadium will raise the standard of the neighbourhood irreversibly. One woman commented, "Part of the joy of living in Portsmouth is that it's dog-rough. We love the sight of burnt-out cars and old fridges in the street. And buying cheap whisky from the neighbours who've just done a job on Lidl's delivery van is what makes the world go round. We need to resist any attempts to clean this place up and make it more respectable. If we have to have a new football ground, we need it to be just as rough as the old one."
Some Portsmouth fans themselves are also against the plans. "We've been going to Fratton Park with our Docs on and our silk scarves tied around our wrists since the 70s," said one heavily tattooed individual. "We're just not going to fit into a smart, modern new ground, we'll look ridiculous."
The local community is pulling together in an attempt to defeat the plans. An Action Group has been formed which hopes that both the proposed stadium site and Fratton Park can be protected under planning laws from unscrupulous improvement. And they have the backing of some of the local councillors. One said, "The inherent character of the City of Portsmouth and that of its Football Club will forever be associated with a level of scumminess that is simply unique to this part of the country. It is absolutely imperitave that this character is preserved for future generations."
It would appear that the planning approval process could go on for many years.
"Those disused old boats and submarines are part of our maritime heritage", a spokesman said. "Some of those historic vessels have been rusting there untouched for more than fifty years and it's fascinating to watch them decay. I can think of nothing lovelier than watching the sun setting behind a pile of old scrap metal. I'm going to fight these plans every step of the way."
Others fear that the proposed new stadium will raise the standard of the neighbourhood irreversibly. One woman commented, "Part of the joy of living in Portsmouth is that it's dog-rough. We love the sight of burnt-out cars and old fridges in the street. And buying cheap whisky from the neighbours who've just done a job on Lidl's delivery van is what makes the world go round. We need to resist any attempts to clean this place up and make it more respectable. If we have to have a new football ground, we need it to be just as rough as the old one."
Some Portsmouth fans themselves are also against the plans. "We've been going to Fratton Park with our Docs on and our silk scarves tied around our wrists since the 70s," said one heavily tattooed individual. "We're just not going to fit into a smart, modern new ground, we'll look ridiculous."
The local community is pulling together in an attempt to defeat the plans. An Action Group has been formed which hopes that both the proposed stadium site and Fratton Park can be protected under planning laws from unscrupulous improvement. And they have the backing of some of the local councillors. One said, "The inherent character of the City of Portsmouth and that of its Football Club will forever be associated with a level of scumminess that is simply unique to this part of the country. It is absolutely imperitave that this character is preserved for future generations."
It would appear that the planning approval process could go on for many years.
