To finish this off in numerous fashion before it gets too serious, here's the two most comical incidents I saw, as in the original list.
A constable who had been in the area for a couple of weeks out on foot patrol and finding himself completely lost and in his own words, "going round in circles". In despair and without the aid of mobiles/SatNav of course, he had to resort to going into a telephone box and making a shame-faced call in to seek directions for a return to the nick. Having explained his location, he was told, "if you look to your left, can you see a building with a bread sign on the top, just to the left of that there should be a singe-storey building next to an office block. Look up to the third floor and you'll see a window with half your shift colleagues waving at you..."
A keen but nervous group of four probationer constables on attachment to the nick being sent to the magistrates court to observe proceedings and being sat at the side of the court for a whole morning session and told not leave. At the end of the morning, the chairman of the bench went over to address them and give them some pearls of wisdom. He went on, and on and on... totally unaware that one of the lads had been frantically trying to contain his bursting bladder for the previous half an hour. I'm not sure that at first, he even noticed the puddle silently forming round the constable's shoes and socks!!
