[Humour] Poetic Put Downs

[Brovion]

Still my favourite is an exchange that I believe was between the Earl of Sandwich and Charles Fox:

"You sir, will die either on the gallows or of the pox!"
"That sir, depends on whether I embrace your morals or your mistress!"

 

[Goldstone1976]

Your mother should have thrown you away and kept the stork.

© Mae West

 

[Dick Swiveller]

I've never been to Asia
I find it odd behaviour
I'm gonna dig a grave here
Coz I practice euthanasia.

I was really pleased with my Put Down pun as well. Perhaps I'll save it for a vet.

 

[Sirnormangall]

Billy Connolly to a heckler “ don’t come here and criticise my work - otherwise I’ll come to your place of work tomorrow and show you how to sweep up”

 

[Gwylan]

Still my favourite is an exchange that I believe was between the Earl of Sandwich and Charles Fox:

"You sir, will die either on the gallows or of the pox!"
"That sir, depends on whether I embrace your morals or your mistress!"

I thought it was John Wilkes who said this, not Fox. But on checking with Google, I find that it was one Samuel Foote who gave us this little gem. You learn something every day

 

[zefarelly]

You sir, should have been swallowed.

 

[Happy Exile]

"I remember when you were good."

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Woman to Churchill: "You sir, are drunk"
Churchill "You madam are ugly. And in the morning I'll be sober"

 

[GT49er]

I rather like the waiter's put down of the posh woman who broke wind during a banquet .....................

Woman: Pfffft...... turns accusingly to waiter, "Stop that, my good man!"
Waiter: "Certainly madam - which way did it go?"

 

[Brightonfan1983]

I was with a work colleague who got in to a disagreement with a person in charge of the building we were working in. After realising he was losing the argument, this person came out with the classic, "Do you know who I am?" My colleague answered, "I don't know who you are, but I know WHAT you are." Brilliant!

That made me think of Ronnie Pickering Ronnie Pickering RONNIE PICKERING!!!

 

[Jaxie]

“Grow up”

 

[Brightonfan1983]

Woman to Churchill: "You sir, are drunk"
Churchill "You madam are ugly. And in the morning I'll be sober"

Wasn't it Churchill who replied to George Bernard Shaw's offer of tickets to his new play's opening night and "bring a friend, if you have one", with "I can't come then but will come on the second night, if there is one"?

 

[The Clamp]

Can't recall whom said to whom but ;

"I'm writing a novel"
"How interesting, neither am I".


An exchange between Churchill (I think) and a woman.

"If you were my husband I would poison your tea"
"If you were my wife, I would gladly drink it"


Bill Murray to Chevy Chase after winning a fistfight behind the scenes of SNL. Chase was notoriously despised by teh other cast and Murray was known as being very handy with his fists;

"Now **** off, you mediocre talent"

 

[Guinness Boy]

Cricket sledges:

“Why are you so fat?”
“Because every time I f*** your wife she gives me a biscuit”

“How’s your wife and my kids”?”
“The wife’s fine but the kids are retarded”


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[rogersix]

gotta be the politicos fave... "with the greatest of respect".......

(ucvnt)

 

[Algernon]

I tend to use "f**k off you sausage" I don't really do poetry.

 

[rogersix]

Can't recall whom said to whom but ;

"I'm writing a novel"
"How interesting, neither am I".


An exchange between Churchill (I think) and a woman.

"If you were my husband I would poison your tea"
"If you were my wife, I would gladly drink it"


Bill Murray to Chevy Chase after winning a fistfight behind the scenes of SNL. Chase was notoriously despised by teh other cast and Murray was known as being very handy with his fists;

"Now **** off, you mediocre talent"

peter cook

 

[driller]

I could agree with you but then we would both be wrong

 

[Triggaaar]

Can't recall whom said to whom but ;

Who said to whom.

So much for your classical education.

 

[PILTDOWN MAN]

Whilst on the toilet Churchill received a telephone call from the Lord Privy Seal, he shouted to his aid “tell him I can only deal with one shit at a time.”