[Misc] Phrases you hate people saying

[Larry Boyd]

'Black lives matter' as we cross live to Haringey where Yousuaf Khan is charged with murdering Abraham Mugangya. If they matter that much why do they go around stabbing each other.

The other? 'The rise in popularity of womens football'..........................usually in October in the international break when tickets for birds football are given away.

 

[Green Cross Code Man]

'Black lives matter' as we cross live to Haringey where Yousuaf Khan is charged with murdering Abraham Mugangya. If they matter that much why do they go around stabbing each other.

The other? 'The rise in popularity of womens football'..........................usually in October in the international break when tickets for birds football are given away.

Give it a rest.

 

[Frutos]

Give it a rest.

He will be.

 

[Weststander]

'Black lives matter' as we cross live to Haringey where Yousuaf Khan is charged with murdering Abraham Mugangya. If they matter that much why do they go around stabbing each other.

The other? 'The rise in popularity of womens football'..........................usually in October in the international break when tickets for birds football are given away.

“Cross live”, is that similar to cross dressing?

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

“Lateral thinking” and “Thinking outside the box” .... are they used any more?

My deranged ex boss used to praise himself by saying he did exactly that. When he was, amongst many weird things, a rigid thinker, boy he hated change or innovation.

One thing that annoys me is when someone (OK, a student) does diarrhoea work, we are supposed to find positives and offer encouragement....

"I reealy liked the way you wrote down the title of the essay in your own words. One way to improve your work would be to follow more closely the clues about the assignment given in the title.

Inclusion of some relevant material was an excellent strategy. One way to improve your work would be to include facts that are a little more directly relevant to the question, and perhaps polish the way you use words to connect up your ideas

For example, when you said that beta blockers are great for increasing heart rate in asthmatics, you could consider the alternative, that beta blockers are better used for slowing the heart in people with heart disease.

A great effort - well done!"

Never ever tell them they have got it wrong.

What a load of old bollocks.

 

[Frutos]

One thing that annoys me is when someone (OK, a student) does diarrhoea work, we are supposed to find positives and offer encouragement....

"I reealy liked the way you wrote down the title of the essay in your own words. One way to improve your work would be to follow more closely the clues about the assignment given in the title.

Inclusion of some relevant material was an excellent strategy. One way to improve your work would be to include facts that are a little more directly relevant to the question, and perhaps polish the way you use words to connect up your ideas

For example, when you said that beta blockers are great for increasing heart rate in asthmatics, you could consider the alternative, that beta blockers are better used for slowing the heart in people with heart disease.

A great effort - well done!"

Never ever tell them they have got it wrong.

What a load of old bollocks.

My partner is leaving academia in a few weeks, and things like this are part of the reason why.

 

[Weststander]

One thing that annoys me is when someone (OK, a student) does diarrhoea work, we are supposed to find positives and offer encouragement....

"I reealy liked the way you wrote down the title of the essay in your own words. One way to improve your work would be to follow more closely the clues about the assignment given in the title.

Inclusion of some relevant material was an excellent strategy. One way to improve your work would be to include facts that are a little more directly relevant to the question, and perhaps polish the way you use words to connect up your ideas

For example, when you said that beta blockers are great for increasing heart rate in asthmatics, you could consider the alternative, that beta blockers are better used for slowing the heart in people with heart disease.

A great effort - well done!"

Never ever tell them they have got it wrong.

What a load of old bollocks.

Some of my best teachers at school eg an amazing maths teacher (she was a toughie), also a strange/bullied english teacher, told the truth. Wrong answers, poor work was openly, very explicitly called out as wrong or poor. Not to shame. It worked, our standards rose immeasurably, benefitting me to this day.

Is that honesty permissible today?

 

[Jim Van Winkle]

Have a nice day or have a nice weekend etc.

You are telling me to HAVE? It’s entirely my prerogative, how very dare you’

You actually mean to say “I hope you have...”, now that’s better. Thank you. But don’t tell me to have! If I decide to have a thoroughly miserable day then I will thank you very much.

Don’t be a pendant.

 

[Jim Van Winkle]

Yes, those pretending to be American when they are not certainly grind my gears.

When people say "Sort of thing!" is another pet hate of mine too.

I have never heard an American say ‘amazeballs’. The UK can keep it.

 

[The Wookiee]

whatnot

 

[portlock seagull]

Don’t be a pendant.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

My partner is leaving academia in a few weeks, and things like this are part of the reason why.

Sorry to hear it.

I'm quite rough with my students (who knew?) and 90% of them thank me for it, while 10% report (on student feedback on teaching) that I fail to explain the exercise, fail to explain the marking criteria and fail to provide clear feedback. This is so palpably sour grape nonsense that my lords and masters ignore it. For now, anyway.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Some of my best teachers at school eg an amazing maths teacher (she was a toughie), also a strange/bullied english teacher, told the truth. Wrong answers, poor work was openly, very explicitly called out as wrong or poor. Not to shame. It worked, our standards rose immeasurably, benefitting me to this day.

Is that honesty permissible today?

The push back is extreme, but it is entirely due to the gutlessness of senior academics. My head of department (for teaching, I have another for research) is very keen on bullshit, but nobody really knows what colleagues do in terms of training and assessment. That's the thing - the only way our teaching is assessed is on marks spread and student feedback. I must confess I have changed parts of my teaching and assessment to eliminate the 'tail' and make my mars spread more 'acceptable'. I did once have a minority who would fail horribly. I have fixed this by outreach (I get in touch with individual stragglers) and by providing more guidance on the exercises. Tedious for me, but reasonable. The type of students who would have failed with 15% are now getting low pass marks (low 40s). At the end of the day a third class degree (average mark below 50%) may help you get a job as a trainee manager at Asda, which is nice, but it won't launch a degree-specific career. That's probably about right.

On the whole what is done is reasonably good and far better than when I was a student. Yes, we had some astonishing charismatic teachers back in the day (I had one in immunology in my second year who was a genius teacher) but we also had perfect wankers, who rambled for an hour with no notes. Today there are fewer mavericks at either end of the value spectrum. That said, my HoD is so fully signed up to the world of bullshit that it's only her lack of oversight and lack of coherent process that protects me (and my students) from being flushed down the plug hole.

At the higher level (I am involved in the management of a big MRC funded PhD programme) I don't pull my punches. I saw a presentation the other year that was ten minutes of narcissistic bullshit from a student who gave his presentation wearing a cape. I asked a couple of tricky questions and my face told a thousand stories as I listened to his absurd and arrogant replies. A week later an even more senior colleague told me the students were moaning about me on their watsapp group, owing to my duffing up the student in the cape after his presentation. I asked whether I should do anything. My colleague said 'no, I just thought I'd tell you want I heard'. A bit passive agressive, I thought. I shall carry on till I get my collar felt, I think

 

[marlowe]

One thing that annoys me is when someone (OK, a student) does diarrhoea work, we are supposed to find positives and offer encouragement....

"I really liked the way you wrote down the title of the essay in your own words. One way to improve your work would be to follow more closely the clues about the assignment given in the title.

Inclusion of some relevant material was an excellent strategy. One way to improve your work would be to include facts that are a little more directly relevant to the question, and perhaps polish the way you use words to connect up your ideas

For example, when you said that beta blockers are great for increasing heart rate in asthmatics, you could consider the alternative, that beta blockers are better used for slowing the heart in people with heart disease.

A great effort - well done!"

Never ever tell them they have got it wrong.

What a load of old bollocks.

Back in the 80s when my sister was at University she started going out with a guy who was on the same course but who was in the year behind her.

So after my sister graduated he still had his final year to complete and as I'd become friends with him too I'd sometimes visit him at his Uni. Before one such visit my sister asked me to take one of her old course essays to him as he wanted to use it to crib off.

Being my mischievious self I thought it would be fun to compromise the perceived worthiness of his intended source material so before passing it on to him I added a few comments at the end in the apparent guise of the lecturer who had marked my sister's essay at the time.

I didn't really think the boyfriend would be taken in by my forgery as the derogatory tone of the critical appraisal I wrote was intentionally over the top and scarcely believable.....or so I thought.

When I handed him the essay I made no reference to the comments, leaving him to discover them himself at the appropriate time. I gave no further thought to my little jest and just imagined he would have immediately recognised it for the puerile joke that it was.

Then about a year later my sister and her boyfriend were reminiscing about their university days while I was present and they brought up the subject of the lecturer who had written the derogatory comments to her essay. My sister was confused that she hadn't noticed the comments at the time and yet was not remotely suspicious that anyone else but her lecturer had had a hand in writing them.

It was also revealed that I had unintentionally provoked a major incident at the time. My sister and her boyfriend had been so incensed and outraged by the comments that they made a belated complaint, not only to the lecturer in question but also to his head of department.

Of course the lecturer had protested his innocence but it had apparently caused him quite a lot of trouble and embarassment especially as he was not a particularly popular member of the department so people were not so readily inclined to take his side.

I couldn't believe the furore I had unintentionally caused or that it was ever given any credibility but I must confess to feeling a certain perverse pride in what I had inadvertently achieved and I took pleasure in finally confessing to my sister and her boyfriend to being the guilty party.

 

[AmexRuislip]

When the resident tool at your work, comes to you and says "WE have a problem"

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Back in the 80s when my sister was at University she started going out with a guy who was on the same course but who was in the year behind her.

So after my sister graduated he still had his final year to complete and as I'd become friends with him too I'd sometimes visit him at his Uni. Before one such visit my sister asked me to take one of her old course essays to him as he wanted to use it to crib off.

Being my mischievious self I thought it would be fun to compromise the perceived worthiness of his intended source material so before passing it on to him I added a few comments at the end in the apparent guise of the lecturer who had marked my sister's essay at the time.

I didn't really think the boyfriend would be taken in by my forgery as the derogatory tone of the critical appraisal I wrote was intentionally over the top and scarcely believable.....or so I thought.

When I handed him the essay I made no reference to the comments, leaving him to discover them himself at the appropriate time. I gave no further thought to my little jest and just imagined he would have immediately recognised it for the puerile joke that it was.

Then about a year later my sister and her boyfriend were reminiscing about their university days while I was present and they brought up the subject of the lecturer who had written the derogatory comments to her essay. My sister was confused that she hadn't noticed the comments at the time and yet was not remotely suspicious that anyone else but her lecturer had had a hand in writing them.

It was also revealed that I had unintentionally provoked a major incident at the time. My sister and her boyfriend had been so incensed and outraged by the comments that they made a belated complaint, not only to the lecturer in question but also to his head of department.

Of course the lecturer had protested his innocence but it had apparently caused him quite a lot of trouble and embarassment especially as he was not a particularly popular member of the department so people were not so readily inclined to take his side.

I couldn't believe the furore I had unintentionally caused or that it was ever given any credibility but I must confess to feeling a certain perverse pride in what I had inadvertently achieved and I took pleasure in finally confessing to my sister and her boyfriend to being the guilty party.

Absolutely top work.

If only the students of today had such wherewithall

 

[jessiejames]

Ban the car.

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

When the resident tool at your work, comes to you and says "WE have a problem"

To which, the approapriate reply is '**** me. Are you going to tell me the moon landings were fake? Houston'.

 

[Bodian]

One thing that annoys me is when someone (OK, a student) does diarrhoea work, we are supposed to find positives and offer encouragement....

"I reealy liked the way you wrote down the title of the essay in your own words. One way to improve your work would be to follow more closely the clues about the assignment given in the title.

Inclusion of some relevant material was an excellent strategy. One way to improve your work would be to include facts that are a little more directly relevant to the question, and perhaps polish the way you use words to connect up your ideas

In my final exam at University I actually had to do this [answer a different question] as the question set was basically incorrect. It asked about the effects of some proposed legislation on a particular aspect. The trouble was, the proposed legislation had no impact on that specific aspect, but it did on a related matter (on which we had numerous lectures). It was the sort of thing you would expect a half-informed mate in the pub to ask - not a university exam-setter. I opened my response with 'There are no likely effects on x - however, the following answer is based on the assumption that the question is actually about the effects on y'. A bit smart-arsey maybe. But I did get a first out of it!

 

[Sid in the Sharknado]

Sorry to hear it.

I'm quite rough with my students (who knew?) and 90% of them thank me for it, while 10% report (on student feedback on teaching) that I fail to explain the exercise, fail to explain the marking criteria and fail to provide clear feedback

I always thought it would be fun if my lecturers had arbitrarily and completely changed the objective halfway through their projects in order to reflect the real world / real clients.