Pet Hates

[SIMMO SAYS]

My Pet Hate is so called NSC members posting eight years after their last post - when they are obviously parlarse

 

[sparkie]

Another vote for the pointlessness that is FB from me. I came off it last year after my missus got completely the wrong end of the stick when i updated my profile pic with something i considered humourous, she thought i was taking the piss out of her and at that point the penny dropped as I realised FB was just a platform for absolute shitpuffinry so I binned it off.

The media's use of the term, 'so-called Islamic State'! Grips my bumlogs that does, thats what we call them ffs its Islamic State there's nothing 'so-called' about it!! You don't refer to the aircraft of so called United Kingdom bombing the twats do you.

Late filtering german car driving self important clungemonkeys that think filtering into the off slip road early like almost every other driver doesnt apply to them so they cut in late in a blaze of brake light wankfestering tossness and force into a gap that isnt there because thats saved them all of 20 seconds in their ever so important lives.

There is a reason for 'so called' Islamic State.

Which is that if they call it a state ( of course it isn't ), then the scriptures calling for muslims to fight for the islamic state become relevant. Which isn't helpful.

 

[BHAFC_Pandapops]

People punctuating sentences after a space !!!

 

[BN9 BHA]

Last few posts confirm again that I'm glad I'm not on Facebook. Every time I consider the benefits of joining I think of threads like this and remember they are massively outweighed.

Ha,ha.

Just reading through this thread and you have posted my thoughts again here, same as the pregnant woman on train post.

 

[BN9 BHA]

I am going to write a really sexist one so apologies to Edna and other female posters but this comes following a two week holiday with four ladies on the trip. WTF is it with menus and making a decision what to order? Every meal involved asking everyone else what they are having, a 25 minute decision before changing their mind then wishing they had ordered something else anyway, this happened on EVERY SINGLE MEAL. Why ask me what I am having, it is my meal, you order what you want!! Can others confirm if their WAGS are similar with menu decision making or did I just have bad luck here?

My Mrs does this every time, I wouldn't mind if I had decided and put down the menu.
She also says there are three or four things on the menu she could eat ( not all at once ) I'm usually thinking I'd rather have a bowl of chips and 4 pints.

 

[BHAFC_Pandapops]

Also.

Spreaders - You don't need another seat whatever your manly excuse is.
Door Sliders - Why are you so desperate to get on the train before anyone else? You have to let exiting commuters off first, and even then the conductor isn't going to close the doors and leave without you.
Telling the cashier a ridiculous story about the product being broken when both of us know that you didn't really want it, and that's fine if you don't, but don't lie to us.
Rocking up to the fast pay ticket machines and collecting every single one of your hundreds of tickets and taking extra time to enter each letter in the code with 5 minutes between each character.
When fast pay machines are taken by said ticket collectors the last thing to then do is to to a manned till and just wax lyrical about your whole life at the expense of the time of others.

 

[Reagulls]

People parking their car 6 feet away from the end of the clearly marked parking bays which should hold 3 cars but can now only fit two.
Parking in the middle of a space that could clearly hold 2 cars
Adults cycling on the pavements - I might actually push the next one off.
Tobacco smokers who tell me the dangers of my e cigarette, the last of those being a neighbour with a third of one lung left who still smokes roll ups.

 

[Justice]

People you think our ex players are world beaters as soon as they leave. Ie Barnes

 

[The Clamp]

The unwillingness of coffee shop Baristas to actually MAKE my cup of tea. You haven't made me a tea, you've handed me a cup of hot water and a tea bag. I take milk and one sugar please. You've just spent 10 minutes firing steam and frothy milk and god knows what else through a machine the size of a Volvo to make Tarquin and Edward their high falutin' order but you can't be arsed to finish making my tea? Seeing as you're charging almost £3 for it I'd say it was the least you could do?

 

[Meade's Ball]

Douwe Egberts coffee lids. The coffee inside the jar might be fresher thanks to the air-tightness of it all, but, and yes i know it might be a sign of my unwanted feebleness, but i cannae yank one of those lids off, needing instead to shift it open with the aid of a teaspoon or butterknife. If i was to look to hungrily mate with a woman who surprisingly said yes, i wouldn't want her to then spend 25 minutes plucking and shaving and dying and brushing and stretching to form a sense of allover perfection. I'd be happy enough with however the way things are. So, similarly, i am fine with coffee being supposedly imperfect as long as it doesn't take an age and unnecessary effort to get my hands and mouth on.

 

[Badger]

The unwillingness of coffee shop Baristas to actually MAKE my cup of tea. You haven't made me a tea, you've handed me a cup of hot water and a tea bag. I take milk and one sugar please. You've just spent 10 minutes firing steam and frothy milk and god knows what else through a machine the size of a Volvo to make Tarquin and Edward their high falutin' order but you can't be arsed to finish making my tea? Seeing as you're charging almost £3 for it I'd say it was the least you could do?

They NEVER leave enough room for milk either.

 

[spongy]

Ms Spongys blatant lack of kitchen rules.

When I need the butter knife I have to either pick it up off the worktop after its been sat there since the night before and covered in old manky butter, clean it, make my sandwich or whatever, wash it and place it in the rack ready for the next usage.

The next time I want to use it its the same thing, it's sitting on the side covered in old manky butter and toast scrapings or even worse just been left in a skanky washing up bowl so I have to first FIND it. And then clean it.

FOR GODS SAKE WOMAN. IF YOU USE IT THEN ****ING WASH IT.

I've been polite about it for a while but very soon I'm going to go BATSHIT mental.

Whenever she needs it its all nice and clean ready to be used. Selfish bint.

 

[LlcoolJ]

Ms Spongys blatant lack of kitchen rules.

When I need the butter knife I have to either pick it up off the worktop after its been sat there since the night before and covered in old manky butter, clean it, make my sandwich or whatever, wash it and place it in the rack ready for the next usage.

The next time I want to use it its the same thing, it's sitting on the side covered in old manky butter and toast scrapings or even worse just been left in a skanky washing up bowl so I have to first FIND it. And then clean it.

FOR GODS SAKE WOMAN. IF YOU USE IT THEN ****ING WASH IT.

I've been polite about it for a while but very soon I'm going to go BATSHIT mental.

Whenever she needs it its all nice and clean ready to be used. Selfish bint.

Get her to make your sandwiches. Problem solved.

 

[Raleigh Chopper]

Treading in dog shit.
Made worse if you have deep tread boots on.

 

[glasfryn]

people walking around supermarkets leaning all over the trolley bars like they are about to fall over

 

[The Wookiee]

People walking around Worthing town centre on a Wednesday

 

[glasfryn]

Or how about those SHITPUFFINS who, just after having all their stuff beeped through at the checkout, suddenly remember that they'd forgotten to get their bag of organic CRESS. So everything is put on hold while a pre-pubescent, disinterested, clueless spotty oik is summonsed to the till and dispatched all the way back to aisle 29 to pick up said bag of cress. And you stand their with a neutral expression, whilst inside your piss is BOILING as you see half your afternoon drip-dripping away into the abyss, trapped behind the idiotic simpering HAG who's stood there smiling and rolling her eyes at herself in a "oh that's just typical ME!" kind of way, and all the time you just want to grab the bacofoil from her trolley and ram it down her flaccid turkey-neck throat until she chokes to death on her own VOMIT.

absolutely briliant
it made us laugh
and we have had very few of those latey
you should write for comedians

 

[Easy 10]

absolutely briliant
it made us laugh
and we have had very few of those latey
you should write for comedians

Then my work here is done

Its actually quite cathartic, this thread. A bit like the hallowed Bell-cheeses at work thread. Its good to get these things off your chest now and then.

 

[Norman Potting]

The unwillingness of coffee shop Baristas to actually MAKE my cup of tea. You haven't made me a tea, you've handed me a cup of hot water and a tea bag. I take milk and one sugar please. You've just spent 10 minutes firing steam and frothy milk and god knows what else through a machine the size of a Volvo to make Tarquin and Edward their high falutin' order but you can't be arsed to finish making my tea? Seeing as you're charging almost £3 for it I'd say it was the least you could do?

Quality rant - this thread is starting to approach the greatness of the "Bell Cheeses....." one.

 

[Nixonator]

- The M25
- Cyclists - how much lycra worn is usually indicative of how sancitmonius they are.
- The logistics, or lack thereof, for getting out the bridge car park after a game.
- Blatantly british people wearing foreign football shirts around brighton, often sporting them on their 4 year old childs.
- Twats who drop litter out their car windows.
- Pedestrians pushing the buttons on pelican crossings with no other vehicles on the road other than myself.
- Women in 4x4s - seriously their abhorrent behaviour is very consistent.
- Social Media.
- Phone-ins.
- Reality TV - including the manufactured music world.
- People who ask you to sit down (without good reason) at away games - includes stewards.
- People who turn up at the amex at 10 & 55, and leave at 40 & 85 - any one out of these doesn't annoy me, as going to beat the queues for drinks at HT isn't a crime.
- People using euphemisms such as 'covers every blade of grass' or 'is a good pro' for players who aren't good enough.
- Sean Dyche.

Basically people.