Paul Barber

[Cheeky Monkey]

Is this a thread about Paul Barber?

 

[Return of the Rev]

I e-mailed him at 23.00hrs after a glass of wine and received a reply two hours later at 1.30am the bloke was still working? I hope it was trying to sign a striker?

I emailed him at 11pm on saturday night by 3am sunday morning he was knocking at my front door with a selection of unwashed gully girl outfits and a crate of babycham and two packets of wosits

 

[The Birdman]

It's no wonder he's making such a mess of things if he wastes his whole day answering cretinous emails.

. His got good manners ,give the boy a chance his only doing his job. ?

 

[Return of the Rev]

. His got good manners ,give the boy a chance his only doing his job. ?

sounds like someone from the sound of music,just doing his job

 

[Meade's Ball]

I emailed him a few weeks ago concerning the resuscitation of a seagull my cat Hilary had caught and dragged into the house. He was back with me within seconds asking if i had a curly straw. I said yes. He said shove it down the gullet of the bird. I said ok Paul i'll give it a go but Hilary is prowling still looking to nourish on the still-heartbeating bird. Just concentrate on saving the gull and deal with Hilary afterwards, Paul said. I said right you are Paul, and pushed the straw right down into the bird. What now, Paul, i emailed. He said he needed my full address as he only had my postcode. WHICH HOUSE NUMBER he typed loudly as i was distraught and didn't seem to be getting to know what he wanted. I told him. He said i'm right outside. Send someone up to open the door and blow into the straw while i make me way in. I sent up my daughter, Carol, a name the wife chose and i never liked all that much. KEEP BLOWING Paul shouted as he trundled down the stairs. Carol looked very scared of this humungous man with a look of steel in his eyes. Hilary reached over and tried to snatch her prize. I swatted as best i could whilst blowing, my head growing a little dizzy from it all. Paul blew a dart at Hilary, striking her straight in the jugular. He grinned in my direction and said Hilary will be ok and back on her feet in about an hour or so. I nodded. Paul said let me take over from here you've done all you can. I lifted my lips from the straw, exhaled weakly and fell backwards with thanks. Paul was down on his knees in a flash. He pointed at the small bag he'd brought with him, which at its base i noticed was a little portable generator. Paul was a circular breather, like any talented oboist and never looked out of breath. He connected cables to the bag and revealed to me a very tiny defibrilator. WHOOOM it made the noise of, away from the straw he came and onto the area he knew encaged the creature's heart he pressed his device. I looked over at Hilary and her tongue hung from her mouth deadly, but her paws shook as if in dream. The bird's wings sprung out as if crucified, and when they fell back to the floor the winged chip-eater sat up. If beaks had a grin or a smirk to them, then this feathery patient's would have had just that to it. It looked at Paul, seemingly knowing what he'd done, and eyed him up and down, probably wondering if it had perished and this was what a seagull deity looked like. Paul pecked it lovingly on the floorhead and whispered something birdishly into the holes it calls ears and turned to me. I'll be off he said. He packed up his equipment and elastic banded the bird to his back promising he'll remember to take it off when he gets into the car in a moment. I chuckled. Paul said i'd done just as much as him to be the saviour, but it wasn't true. I'd done a little bit though so that was a nice feeling. Carol locked the door after Paul had gone and helped me bring a blanket over the dormant body of the bloody-mouthed Hilary, for whom we poured a big bowl of milk for as a treat for when she awoke feeling bad about herself.

 

[8ace]

What evidence do you have that they were as you describe, without knowing the content or even the subject matter.

What did you ask, "Please could you boil the brussell sprouts at the carvery for another 45mins in future?"

 

[The Birdman]

sounds like someone from the sound of music,just doing his job

Ralph

 

[Blackadder]

What people cannot understand is everything has changed since we moved and whether you like it or not either put up or don't bother going.

Only the thick ones.

 

[Brovion]

Only the thick ones.

Indeed. Having read Insider's very detailed - and very fair - reply to the closure of the Ticket Exchange question (which covered more than just the Exchange), and having read the subsequent 'Brighton still operating at a loss' thread, Paul Barber could well prove to be the best signing we ever made. Obviously I haven't seen the figures and I don't know what's included but I find it staggering and worrying to find out that we are still apparently operating at a loss. One could even argue that such is the scale of his task that he shouldn't be answering emails from fans and someone else at the club should do it! Fair play if he is actually doing that, I might not agree with everything but he's definitely not some Palace agent. We need him.

 

[BensGrandad]

What did you ask, "Please could you boil the brussell sprouts at the carvery for another 45mins in future?"

I'll treat that with the contempt a moron deserves.

 

[seagullondon]

I emailed him a few weeks ago concerning the resuscitation of a seagull my cat Hilary had caught and dragged into the house. He was back with me within seconds asking if i had a curly straw. I said yes. He said shove it down the gullet of the bird. I said ok Paul i'll give it a go but Hilary is prowling still looking to nourish on the still-heartbeating bird. Just concentrate on saving the gull and deal with Hilary afterwards, Paul said. I said right you are Paul, and pushed the straw right down into the bird. What now, Paul, i emailed. He said he needed my full address as he only had my postcode. WHICH HOUSE NUMBER he typed loudly as i was distraught and didn't seem to be getting to know what he wanted. I told him. He said i'm right outside. Send someone up to open the door and blow into the straw while i make me way in. I sent up my daughter, Carol, a name the wife chose and i never liked all that much. KEEP BLOWING Paul shouted as he trundled down the stairs. Carol looked very scared of this humungous man with a look of steel in his eyes. Hilary reached over and tried to snatch her prize. I swatted as best i could whilst blowing, my head growing a little dizzy from it all. Paul blew a dart at Hilary, striking her straight in the jugular. He grinned in my direction and said Hilary will be ok and back on her feet in about an hour or so. I nodded. Paul said let me take over from here you've done all you can. I lifted my lips from the straw, exhaled weakly and fell backwards with thanks. Paul was down on his knees in a flash. He pointed at the small bag he'd brought with him, which at its base i noticed was a little portable generator. Paul was a circular breather, like any talented oboist and never looked out of breath. He connected cables to the bag and revealed to me a very tiny defibrilator. WHOOOM it made the noise of, away from the straw he came and onto the area he knew encaged the creature's heart he pressed his device. I looked over at Hilary and her tongue hung from her mouth deadly, but her paws shook as if in dream. The bird's wings sprung out as if crucified, and when they fell back to the floor the winged chip-eater sat up. If beaks had a grin or a smirk to them, then this feathery patient's would have had just that to it. It looked at Paul, seemingly knowing what he'd done, and eyed him up and down, probably wondering if it had perished and this was what a seagull deity looked like. Paul pecked it lovingly on the floorhead and whispered something birdishly into the holes it calls ears and turned to me. I'll be off he said. He packed up his equipment and elastic banded the bird to his back promising he'll remember to take it off when he gets into the car in a moment. I chuckled. Paul said i'd done just as much as him to be the saviour, but it wasn't true. I'd done a little bit though so that was a nice feeling. Carol locked the door after Paul had gone and helped me bring a blanket over the dormant body of the bloody-mouthed Hilary, for whom we poured a big bowl of milk for as a treat for when she awoke feeling bad about herself.

 

[mejonaNO12 aka riskit]

He sends a good e-mail so must be a great chief exec

Exactly.

I mean, you come across as a prick on here but by all accounts you're really a nice blo.....oh, bad example.

 

[seagullondon]

What evidence do you have that they were as you describe, without knowing the content or even the subject matter.

31,003 posts of evidence

 

[Vegas Seagull]

I e-mailed him at 23.00hrs after a glass of wine and received a reply two hours later at 1.30am the bloke was still working? I hope it was trying to sign a striker?

Can you all stop, he has has bigger fish to fry

 

[Doc Lynam]

I emailed him a few weeks ago concerning the resuscitation of a seagull my cat Hilary had caught and dragged into the house. He was back with me within seconds asking if i had a curly straw. I said yes. He said shove it down the gullet of the bird. I said ok Paul i'll give it a go but Hilary is prowling still looking to nourish on the still-heartbeating bird. Just concentrate on saving the gull and deal with Hilary afterwards, Paul said. I said right you are Paul, and pushed the straw right down into the bird. What now, Paul, i emailed. He said he needed my full address as he only had my postcode. WHICH HOUSE NUMBER he typed loudly as i was distraught and didn't seem to be getting to know what he wanted. I told him. He said i'm right outside. Send someone up to open the door and blow into the straw while i make me way in. I sent up my daughter, Carol, a name the wife chose and i never liked all that much. KEEP BLOWING Paul shouted as he trundled down the stairs. Carol looked very scared of this humungous man with a look of steel in his eyes. Hilary reached over and tried to snatch her prize. I swatted as best i could whilst blowing, my head growing a little dizzy from it all. Paul blew a dart at Hilary, striking her straight in the jugular. He grinned in my direction and said Hilary will be ok and back on her feet in about an hour or so. I nodded. Paul said let me take over from here you've done all you can. I lifted my lips from the straw, exhaled weakly and fell backwards with thanks. Paul was down on his knees in a flash. He pointed at the small bag he'd brought with him, which at its base i noticed was a little portable generator. Paul was a circular breather, like any talented oboist and never looked out of breath. He connected cables to the bag and revealed to me a very tiny defibrilator. WHOOOM it made the noise of, away from the straw he came and onto the area he knew encaged the creature's heart he pressed his device. I looked over at Hilary and her tongue hung from her mouth deadly, but her paws shook as if in dream. The bird's wings sprung out as if crucified, and when they fell back to the floor the winged chip-eater sat up. If beaks had a grin or a smirk to them, then this feathery patient's would have had just that to it. It looked at Paul, seemingly knowing what he'd done, and eyed him up and down, probably wondering if it had perished and this was what a seagull deity looked like. Paul pecked it lovingly on the floorhead and whispered something birdishly into the holes it calls ears and turned to me. I'll be off he said. He packed up his equipment and elastic banded the bird to his back promising he'll remember to take it off when he gets into the car in a moment. I chuckled. Paul said i'd done just as much as him to be the saviour, but it wasn't true. I'd done a little bit though so that was a nice feeling. Carol locked the door after Paul had gone and helped me bring a blanket over the dormant body of the bloody-mouthed Hilary, for whom we poured a big bowl of milk for as a treat for when she awoke feeling bad about herself.

What a dramatic but ultimately heart warming story and to find out that Mr Barber is a circular breather, this is a man of many hidden talents! One can only imagine what he's like in the bedroom, I for one feel a touch inadequate even thinking upon the man.

 

[shaolinpunk]

Has anyone emailed him about the quality and quantity of forks at the Amex?

 

[Doc Lynam]

Has anyone emailed him about the quality and quantity of forks at the Amex?

It never rains, but it pours.

 

[Hamilton]

Has anyone emailed him about the quality and quantity of forks at the Amex?

For Forks Sake Barber!

 

[8ace]

I'll treat that with the contempt a moron deserves.

Shame PB doesn't do the same with your emails

 

[seagullondon]

Has anyone emailed him about the quality and quantity of forks at the Amex?

Must say I agree with this! Can never find a fork to eat my pie with