Brighton Breezy
New member
Two kids were caught by the police. One was snorting powder from a firework the other licking batter acid. They decided to charge one and let the other off.
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Old joke du jour....
- Thread starter CHAPPERS
- Start date
John Boy
Paul McShane
Two parrots were on a pirch, one said do you smell fish?
Brighton Breezy
New member
Two elephants fall off a cliff...BOOM BOOM.
The Large One
Who's Next?
What's blue and fucks old women?
Hypothermia
Hypothermia
Tazman
New member
two nuns playing darts, Sister O'hara throws first, treble 20, then single 20. Her final dart hits the treble 20 wire and bounces back, it kills Sister O'hara instantly. The Barman shouts "One nun-dead and eighty"
Taxi for Taz...........
Whats got one ball and fucks women?
Peter Sutcliffes hammer!
(Really sorry about that one! )
Taxi for Taz...........
Whats got one ball and fucks women?
Peter Sutcliffes hammer!
(Really sorry about that one! )
Pevenseagull
meh
- Jul 20, 2003
- 20,706
Seal walks into a club.
Lindfield by the sea
New member
- Sep 18, 2003
- 147
Pub & Duck
Man gets home after a night down the pub with a duck under his arm. Goes upstairs into the bedroom and sees the wife.
He says "What do you think of the pig?"
Wife says "Typical, pissed up as usual, its not a pig its a duck"
Man says "Shut up, I was talking to the duck".
Man gets home after a night down the pub with a duck under his arm. Goes upstairs into the bedroom and sees the wife.
He says "What do you think of the pig?"
Wife says "Typical, pissed up as usual, its not a pig its a duck"
Man says "Shut up, I was talking to the duck".
One bloke really hates his wife so much that he hires the local hitman, Archie, to kill her. He tells Archie that his wife always goes shopping at 10.30 am every Thursday, and gives Archie her picture. Archie agrees to kill the wife, and as the husband is really short of cash, agrees to kill her for a £1.
On Thursday morning, Archie goes into the supermarket and spots the wife in the vegetable section with two friends. He goes over to them and so that he doesn't have any witnesses he strangles all three before walking away.
The next day the headline of the local paper reads:
"Archie chokes three for a £1 in Sainsbury's"
ok getting coat
On Thursday morning, Archie goes into the supermarket and spots the wife in the vegetable section with two friends. He goes over to them and so that he doesn't have any witnesses he strangles all three before walking away.
The next day the headline of the local paper reads:
"Archie chokes three for a £1 in Sainsbury's"
ok getting coat
Exmouth Seagull
New member
Topical joke du jour:
Me and the Missus are off on holiday to the Caribean.
Jamaica?
No - she wants to go too.
Me and the Missus are off on holiday to the Caribean.
Jamaica?
No - she wants to go too.