Official, yet unwritten MALE rules

[Les Biehn]

7ii For gods sake ladies please do NOT talk when watching a film, yes you probably have seen him/her in something else, but when said person is just about to release a barrage of machine gun fire, is not the time to talk about it. Home cinema is home cinema, do you talk at the cinema?



Also men are comfortable in silence, we don't need the reassurance of conversation.

Another rule, when with new females you never, ever run your friends down.

'Why is he doing that?' 'What's going on?' 'Who's she?'

You have watched as much of the film as me now shut the f*** up.

 

[turienzo's lovechild]

1. i'll FART whenever i want.....its a bodily function- like sneezing, i HAVE to do it

2. football is on, that takes priority. Most TV is geared towards women, all i want is a couple of hours here and there. That is MY TIME. Don't talk to me during that time- there is simply no point as i won't talk back

3. i'm not talking to you because i have nothing interesting to say at that time. Us men believe in quality not quantity when it comes to converse

4. what do you mean "what am i thinking?" that has to be the SHITTEST question ever

5. i'm not very good at cooking, but you are. Therefore it makes SENSE for you to cook

 

[The Large One]

12) No, I'll drive.

 

[John Dorian]

13) It is fine to walk round (insert place) with ur hands down ur pants. a) im checking theyre still there after last night and b) I enjoy it and its warm.