Office Buzzwords

[ATFC Seagull]

"I wanted to touch base with you" and I do get annoyed hearing "Not being rude but..." and those people who when you ring them they say "Good morning, it is still morning isn't it ?" suggesting that they are so busy, when you know for a fact they are not

Haha, quality, my boss told me to do that the other day, saying it was a "brilliant sales technique, creating an instant rapport". Needless to say, I ignored him.

 

[Blackadder]

PRAIRIE DOGGING When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

 

[Woodchip]

"The airport's in sight and the landing gear is down"

Or in a meeting the other day the boss was on about the worlds largest oil tanker and it's massive rudder, and the fact it's all controlled by the trim-plane. What utter waffle that was!!

 

[scooter1]

There's no I in TEAM.



Whenever I hear this I always respond with, "Yes, but there is a U in c u n t"

 

[Soul Finger]

There's no I in TEAM.

There may not be, but you can see the word ME.

Or,

There's no 'I' in team...

...but there's a massive 'U' in c**t

People who say 'Can I get' really get on my onions.

 

[The Large One]

People who say 'Can I get' really get on my onions.

Oh, and when people or notices say 'persons'. :thud:

 

[Trufflehound]

Oh, and when people or notices say 'persons'. :thud:

"And now, from Norwich, it's the quiz of the week! With Nicholas Persons"





Or something like that...

 

[Peteinblack]

Working in a university, I regularly hear middle managers and 'suits' using phrases like:

'raise our game', 'be more ambitious', 'only show in town', 'be more pro-active' and 'aim to be world class'. .

Also, we don't teach anymore; we 'deliver lectures' which 'facilitate students' learning experience'

And when students pass a course (sorry, Module), they 'achieve a learning outcome'.

It's all complete and utter bollocks.

:

 

[Woodchip]

Don't forget we all need to look at the bigger picture.

 

[Dave the OAP]

I like that NatWest advert with the buzz word manager, his lackey and "Kev" the young recruit

We have a phrase in our industry:

managing the Leverage.

My favourite is " re-alligning customer expectations"....or "you thought you were getting x but actually you are getting y"

 

[Trufflehound]

My favourite is " re-alligning customer expectations"....

Isn't that the same as saying: "You f***ed up: you trusted us."

 

[Dave the OAP]

Isn't that the same as saying: "You f***ed up: you trusted us."

the very same

 

[Hannibal smith]

I have just been asked ‘to get this straw man right’

Does anyone have any idea what they are talking about?

Thanks

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

Also, we don't teach anymore; we 'deliver lectures' which 'facilitate students' learning experience'

And when students pass a course (sorry, Module), they 'achieve a learning outcome'.

Aaaah I hate those!!!

Oh, and it's not Units, not modules

 

[ben andrews' girlfriend]

Oh, and "to give you a heads up"

What does that actually MEAN when you pick it apart?! Nothing!!

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Job Enhancement Opportunity - Redundancy.

 

[Blackadder]

I have just been asked ‘to get this straw man right’

Does anyone have any idea what they are talking about?

Thanks

Does this help?

 

[Lankyseagull]

My boss likes the terms:

"Dink it back over the net"

and

"Let's do it to them before they do it to us"

Irritates the hell outta me!

 

[WATFORD zero]

Better to have them inside the tent pissing out, than outside pissing in


Easy - don't employ little f***ers who aren't toilet trained

 

[Monkster]

The worst I heard last week...

"Squeeze the last bit of juice out of the low hanging fruit"


WHAT?