O/T-New Dad here in need of some advice!

[Playing On The Grit]

Congratulations on your new arrival. I became a dad for the first time almost 2 years ago and I was terrified at first because I had never wanted to hold anyone else's baby for fear of doing it wrong as much as dropping them. At the hospital I held my boy only when he was put in my arms so that he pretty much just rested on me. As soon as noone was around I practiced picking him up and holding him just to get my confidence with noone looking or telling me I was doing it wrong. In no time it became the most natural thing in the world and I could let my instincts take over. Once you have your confidence all kind of natural things take over!!!

I was also terrified of bathtime as I didn't want anything to go wrong on my watch but, again, after a couple of times everything just happened and we always made bathtime the fun part of the day and he enjoyed it right from an early age and as he grew up bathtime became an important part of the routine for us as well as the little man.

My advice would be to get her into a good bath and bed routine right from an early age. I also read somewhere that playing classical music as they drop off to sleep at night helps open their minds up and can help them become more intelligent as they get older. We did that and it seems to have worked so far.

 

[Shropshire Seagull]

Good work fella. Your life will change forever ...

The reason for the crying is that, at the moment, you are a stranger to baby, and that is unsettling for baby. After a few days when she gets to know you and trust you, you will experience the opposite. That is, someone else makes baby cry and when she comes back to you (as her dad not a stranger) she will suddenly feel safe and contented and the crying will magically stop - its a fabulous feeling.

As stated above, babies only cry if they are hungry, dirty (nappy), in pain (wait for teething), or feel unsafe as is currently the case.

This will pass VERY quickly. Enjoy .... (and start saving for the wedding - time passes so fast so treasure these early days)

 

[Chicken Run]

All the above is good advice, i have three children oldest 13 youngest just turned five, i just recruited a nanny so have no idea about the crying thing, my 5 year old only recently started calling me dad!

 

[Hiney]

All good advice on this thread so far - down to that last sentence. If you want a book that will make you go mad and tear your hair out, AND make you feel small and useless all at the same time, it's 'The Contented Little Baby Book' by Gina Ford - horrendous book.

Fair enough!!

We found it very useful for helping us get the babies into a routine. It can come across as a bit draconian but that's really a matter of interpretation.

 

[Seagull Stew]

Thanks everyone, this has been really helpful!

I actually posted this last night (New Zealand is 13 hours ahead) to help me get to sleep knowing that when I woke up I'd have some sound advice from the NSC massive! And now hopefully thanks to you guys, I can bring some more self confidence to Emily on her second day.

 

[NMH]

Let your wife rest a while by
giving it 24 hours before you demand sex.................and remember she may not seem up for it at first.

She had a c-section, so there will be no problem her putting out.
If she complains, be sensitive and only demand a hummer.

 

[HampshireSeagulls]

Wait until you are throwing the baby up in the air and catching her. On second thoughts - you have not at any point played in goal for Brighton, have you?

And you think this is bad - wait until she is old enough for BOYFRIENDS!

 

[Lord Bracknell]

If you want a book that will make you go mad and tear your hair out, AND make you feel small and useless all at the same time, it's 'The Contented Little Baby Book' by Gina Ford - horrendous book.

Ignore the books. I read one called "How to be a Father".

Chapter One. Wouldn't you rather have a dog?




The answer is, of course, NO.

 

[cjd]

Final advice;....

1) Being a second "mother" to your baby should only last for 3-4 months. As soon as the contents of your babys nappy changes from a chicken korma substance to something more offensive by look and odour.........then the role of motherhood should revert firmly back to your wife.

2) Your role over the next 18 months is to inform your wife where she is going wrong in her upbringing of your daughter, and to learn the art of "heavy sleep" when she is teething during the night.

3) At 3-4 years old, you can take more interest again as they begin to communicate well with you.

5) At 4-11 years old, leave the schoool runs, clubs, ironing, pack lunches, shopping, menus and general nagging of your daughter to your wife.

6) 11-16 years old, sit back calmly..(with your wallet at the ready) and watch your wife fail in communication with a disruptive child.......and just be there to show her how fantastic you are at understanding her. Makes you popular for life.

7) 16-18 years old, be prepared to fiecely defend her against all the oiks who wish to date her.

8) 18+ send her off to university............job done.

 

[Lethargic]

Oh how I remember those first days.

As many have said your reaction is perfectly normal and will soon pass. One thing contributing to te crying may be the fact that you are nervous, babies/childern are very sharp on picking up feeling around them and the fact you are nervous maybe disconcerting for her. Don't worry you get the hang of it very soon and as the confidence comes the crying hopefully will mellow.

Good luck

 

[Everest]

Good luck and enjoy the ride

I think he did that months ago!

My wife had a c-section so I'm pretty much doing everything for now.
Firstly, I am so terrified when I pick her up and hold her.

Why are you picking your wife up when she's just had a c-section? She should be resting. No wonder she cries the place down!







BTW, congrats.

 

[Shinbreath]

I think he did that months ago!


Nice one

Sorry to be off topic but regarding the guy on Everests avatar holding the cup..

I did his loft conversion... Woo look at you