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NSC Room 101



Frutos

.
Helpful Moderator
NSC Patron
May 3, 2006
36,315
Northumberland
OK, you can put any four things about NSC or the wider world into Room 101, what would they be? Mine are:

1) Fat people, but not just any fat people. I'm specifically talking about fat people who refuse to describe themselves as fat, preferring terms such as "retaining water" (it's not water, it's f***ing cakes and pies), "I'm big boned " (yeah, your stomach bone is huge, and your arse bone is even bigger), or even the latest politically correct one, which is "I'm not fat, I'm horizontally disproportionate"

2) Chavs. No explanation needed.

3) The Crazy Frog. No explanation needed.

4) People who ask you a question, but insist on giving you a whole lot of pointless information along with it. For example, if a customer at work wants to know where, say, the light bulbs are kept, they will insist on telling me in minute detail why they require a light bulb, when I really couldn't give a shit.

Ps: If this is fixtures, I respectfully apologise, and wuld like to make a gesture of friendship to atone for my mistake:











:salute:
 




Barrel of Fun

Abort, retry, fail
I think it has been done before but new 'annoyances' pop up all the time!

1) Chelsea. I am getting fed up of seeing them all over the place. I spent a week in a very nice village in Devon, quite picturesque and very peaceful. I wandered to the local pub and on the way there was a house bedecked in Chelsea flags, you could see some Chelsea wallpaper through the window and the house had been repainted in a dark blue colour. This is approximately 250 miles from Chelsea!! Apparently the family used to support Torquay United but switched allegiances very recently! :angry:

2) Big Brother wannabes. These people that want to be famous for being famous. That dopey tart that is always on TV - Chantelle - Living the dream. The dream??? Most are either dance teachers or things like that, hoping to cash in on anything that comes their way. Jade Goody, possibly the thickest person ever to have appeared in the public domain.

3) Lewes District Council. Spoiling the fun for 1,000s of people out of principle and snobbery.

4) Quiche - Can't stand the stuff!
 


Kinky Gerbil

Im The Scatman
NSC Patron
Jul 16, 2003
58,794
hassocks
Newcastle Utd - Best fans in the world my arse.

Train delays - Allways on a bloody friday with out fail when you are trying to get home.

Fat People that Moan - Why am I fat? Why dont girls like me, Why do I have no friends, Ive tried dieting it doesnt work. - Run you fat pig.

Mcdonalds - Its gash.
 


Gwylan

Well-known member
Jul 5, 2003
31,841
Uffern
I don't think that LDC/Norman Baker/John Catt/FPC belong in Room 101. They belong in a previously unknown eighth circle of hell where their everlasting souls are force-fed Withdean burgers before being eternally trampled by thousands of football 'hooligans'.

My Room 101s are:

1) Drivers with 'Baby on Board' stickers. We've covered it before but they still get on my tits. I'd introduce a higher road tax for anyone with those on their car.

2) Those take-away polystyrene coffee cups with holes in the lids. What the hell are those about? They render it impossible to, er, take away the take-aways without spilling hot liquid over yourself.

3) Restaurants caterers who think a veggie option is a salad or a bowl of vegetables. Is it really that difficult?

4) Cyclists who go through red lights: I cycle every day and see more and more of these wankers. Stop it: you're giving us a bad name.

5) First Crapital Connect.
Enough said.
 


Barrel of Fun

Abort, retry, fail
Gwylan said:
I don't think that LDC/Norman Baker/John Catt/FPC belong in Room 101. They belong in a previously unknown eighth circle of hell where their everlasting souls are force-fed Withdean burgers before being eternally trampled by thousands of football 'hooligans'.

4) Cyclists who go through red lights: I cycle every day and see more and more of these wankers. Stop it: you're giving us a bad name.


:lol:

Two very good points.

Rogue cyclists are giving us a bad name and we must stand up to them! Don't ruin our fun! Are we one of the most loathed groups in Brighton & Hove?
 




1. Builders. "You need to give me another 10K or I won't finish the job" Knowing full well we have no choice because the job is at a point were we wouldn't get another builder to take over.
2. Builders. "Oh did I say 10k, sorry that was just a guess. I really meant 15k"
3. Builders. "We'll be finished end of April middle of May" Well why is it the middle of July and you've still not finished ?
4. Erm, yep you guest it... Builders "It's not my fault I got the estimate wrong" 25k wrong you c***.

:censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:
 


Captain Pugwash

Paul Kitson
Oct 27, 2003
3,493
brighton
no order really

1. people that shout on mobiles. you dont have to shout you twat ffs

2. two-faced people: dont like someone tell then, dont go behind there back

3. my uncle: biggest twat in the world

4. those japanese that come over and think they control the place
 


Lander

NSC down?
Jan 11, 2005
4,424
Lindfield
1. Early mornings - I just love to sleep untill i wake up without being woken up!!!

2. All this L(ame)D(umb)C(unts) - im sure a big club could somehow get around them. jus shoot the bastards!!!

3. Having no money and payday is still a whole week away :(

4. My supervisor!!! - Absolute THUNDERC*NT
 




Starry

Captain Of The Crew
Oct 10, 2004
6,733
1. The people at supermarkets who take a trolley and do their shopping, load shopping into their car and then leave their trolley in the next parking space or rolling around the car park free to bash into as many peoples cars as possible. Why? There are trolley bays/hut things on every row. Move your lazy arse and return your trolley.

2. The Parcel Force delivery guy who calls with a parcel but doesn't bother knocking and just automatically assumes that at 11am no one is home. TRY KNOCKING. And yes, Mr Parcel Force I reported you TWICE for doing that and was told this wasn't the first complaint and it would be dealt with. Twice you left a card without knocking, I know. I was sat in the office beside the front door. The third time I was outside at the side of the house and saw you do it but caught you before you had time to drop a card and run. WHY? You are a fool. It's your job to deliver parcels. Not leave me calling cards.

3. Window cleaners. I pay you to clean my windows. So, clean them.
 


Curious Orange

Punxsatawney Phil
Jul 5, 2003
10,229
On NSC for over two decades...
BarrelofFun said:
1) Chelsea. I am getting fed up of seeing them all over the place.

Haven't really noticed the difference in Guildford, there was always plenty of Chelsea shirts about even before Abramovich arrived on the scene.
 


Commander

Arrogant Prat
NSC Patron
Apr 28, 2004
13,600
London
1 Wasps. Bastards. Don't sting unless they are provoked? Bollocks. ****s.

2 Two slice toasters.

3 Wind. Really winds me up.:angry:
 




Redhead

New member
Jul 21, 2005
2,946
The Mighty 'ford
1) Newcastle Fans: Having a big ground and coming second in the league 10 yrs ago doesn't make you a big club.

2) Mushrooms: Evil little bastards.

3) Business Buzz Words: No I wont look at the big f***ing picture, I'm too busy trying to do my job you tosser.

4) Boy Racers: Why oh why do you spend your evening circling small town high streets in a poorly modified Fiesta, playing shit music through shit speakers, no one likes you, no one cares :angry:
 


bhaexpress

New member
Jul 7, 2003
27,627
Kent
Milk - Utterly vile stuff
Horses - No insurance and serious polluters
Noisy MP3s - I don't like your music
Mobiles on Trains - I don't want to know you business, any of it.
 








ali jenkins

Thanks to Guinness Dave
Feb 9, 2006
9,896
Southwick
1) Tonsilitis- ive got it at the moment and it f***ing hurts every time i swallow, ive not eatern a proper bit of food since monday night!

2)Doctors- DONT show me the 15mm blade that your going to put into the back of my mouth and cut open while im awake!

3) Old people in waiting rooms- why do they always persume they have a god given right to jump in the que ahead of mw just because your old!

4) Hospitals- just dont like the place

:censored: :censored: :censored: :censored: :censored:





Rant over
 


JJ McClure

Go Jags
Jul 7, 2003
11,113
Hassocks
1. Cyclists who cycle on the road when there is a perfectly good cycle path build especially for them at the cost of several thousand pounds just a couple of yards to their left.

2. People in the office who sod off to meetings leaving their mobile phones to ring and ring.

3. Parents not controlling their kids, especially in the supermarket. I'm sorry lady but if your kids runs in front of me again I'm going to mow it down with my trolley.

4. those mini motorbike things. Whats the point?
 


seagully

Cock-knobs!
Jun 30, 2006
2,960
Battle
1. Kids who hang around outside newsagents asking you to buy them fags, and then when you refuse, call you a c**t and spit at you

2.The Frosties Ad kid. 'nuff said

3. People who know nothing about football loudly giving their opinions in the pub at England games. 'Yeah, David Beckham has really gone downhill since he started playing for Barcelona.'

4.Fat people who order fast food and loudly ask for a DIET coke. What's the point you fat f**ker?!
 




withdeanwombat

Well-known member
Feb 17, 2005
8,731
Somersetshire
1)Mobile telephones.Waste of money.If you can shout that loud they can hear you in Inverness.And all the stuff that goes with mobile telephones,like the ads.,the constant unsolicited calls to ask which network(what IS that?)you use,the useless but self important shites who break the law by using them whilst driving(unsteadily,into pedestrians etc),all those little shops taken over by this fad to peddle accompanying trash.Much better used as charity shops.Which brings me to-

2)Charity shops.We have boot sales to move the rubbish/stolen goods.Recycle your junk,and just give the 60% that the government doesn't take to charity.So,

3)Taxes,direct,indirect,central,local.An explanation can be assembled if necessary.And finally(sticking to 4,as asked)

4)Explanations.They always sound like excuses,so never giv......
 


Starry

Captain Of The Crew
Oct 10, 2004
6,733
seagully said:

4.Fat people who order fast food and loudly ask for a DIET coke. What's the point you fat f**ker?!

Maybe because diet coke taste better than fat coke!
 


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