NSC Official Poetry Competition: 'The Withdean Experience'

[TWOCHOICEStom]

The Withdean Experience, how best to convey?
To sit in the rain, twenty four quid we'd pay.

The PA was awful, the catering poor
Row S in block U had a hole in the floor.

The away fans complained that they barely could see
Don't know they were born - least their ponchos were free.

Watched a real mix of players - had hopes for them all,
But for each Paul McShane there was one Shane McFaul.

A fortress to start with, it went horribly wrong
T'was a home back in Brighton, but for ten years too long.

We had our good times there, though more often poor
At least 'til that day that Gus walked through the door.

So as we move onwards, I beg of you please
Raise your glasses my friends, to the Theatre of Trees.

The best by far!

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Good stuff!
Would you like that to be part of the creative writing display in the East Stand which the designers are proposing?

Ok. Nice to be 'a part of it' in some tiny way, and cheaper than a heritage stone!

 

[gripper stebson]

I stood there on that North Stand, fourteen, it was my time.
Left Dad and Grandad on the East, my Dad said it was fine.

The fans would surge, a song would start of Sussex by the Sea.
There truly was no other place in the world I’d rather be.

My memories of that great old ground now sadly start to fade.
Of Boxing Days with Palace, of goals from Bryan Wade.

My Dad’s now passed, my Grandad too. Two proper Albion men.
I’ll think of them when I take my seat in the North Stand once again.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

I stood there on that North Stand, fourteen, it was my time.
Left Dad and Grandad on the East, my Dad said it was fine.

The fans would surge, a song would start of Sussex by the Sea.
There truly was no other place in the world I’d rather be.

My memories of that great old ground now sadly start to fade.
Of Boxing Days with Palace, of goals from Bryan Wade.

My Dad’s now passed, my Grandad too. Two proper Albion men.
I’ll think of them when I take my seat in the North Stand once again.

Nice work.

(ignoring the 'Withdean Experience' remit, obviously!)

 

[gripper stebson]

Nice work.

(ignoring the 'Withdean Experience' remit, obviously!)

Eek! I did forget that yes!!

 

[Everest]

The Goldstone years, they came and went
Home for the team that was Heaven sent
Then came the Priestfield, all those miles away
How many fans did we lose? It's hard to say

2 years later, the team returned back
To a pitch surrounded by a running track
The Withdean Stadium, the Theatre of Trees
At the time, hell yes, it seemed the bees knees

Kuipers, Butters, Mayo and Chippy
Cullip and Oatway were both pretty lippy
Watson and Hart found all the holes
Zamora and Knight, they scored a few goals

2 championships, also 1 play off win
My face, at the time, had such a huge grin
The current football, under Tanno and Gus
Is getting the fans flocking back on the bus

After too many years, we're sick of the sight
It's almost as bad as the Isle of Wight
So bring on the Amex, we had such a fight
But now that we have it, the future is bright


Shit I know

 

[Return of the Rev]

The Goldstone years, they came and went
Home for the team that was Heaven sent
Then came the Priestfield, all those miles away
How many fans did we lose? It's hard to say

2 years later, the team returned back
To a pitch surrounded by a running track
The Withdean Stadium, the Theatre of Trees
At the time, hell yes, it seemed the bees knees

Kuipers, Butters, Mayo and Chippy
Cullip and Oatway were both pretty lippy
Watson and Hart found all the holes
Zamora and Knight, they scored a few goals

2 championships, also 1 play off win
My face, at the time, had such a huge grin
The current football, under Tanno and Gus
Is getting the fans flocking back on the bus

After too many years, we're sick of the sight
It's almost as bad as the Isle of Wight
So bring on the Amex, we had such a fight
But now that we have it, the future is bright


Shit I know

 

[Taybha]

Withdean probably the only football ground in the world where the stewards try to get the fans legless

Withdean probably the only football ground in the world thats had a 2 wheeled pitch invasion

Withdean gave us so much joy , remember Leicester and Pornomagboy

Darren Freeman on the opening day

Now the promised land is just six months away

Raise a glass to the ground that kept us afloat i say

 

[strings]

The Withdean Experience, how best to convey?
To sit in the rain, twenty four quid we'd pay.

The PA was awful, the catering poor
Row S in block U had a hole in the floor.

The away fans complained that they barely could see
Don't know they were born - least their ponchos were free.

Watched a real mix of players - had hopes for them all,
But for each Paul McShane there was one Shane McFaul.

A fortress to start with, it went horribly wrong
T'was a home back in Brighton, but for ten years too long.

We had our good times there, though more often poor
At least 'til that day that Gus walked through the door.

So as we move onwards, I beg of you please
Raise your glasses my friends, to the Theatre of Trees.

I love that - made the hairs stand up on the back of my neck!

Withdean probably the only football ground in the world where the stewards try to get the fans legless

Oh dear, I almost spat my tea out with laughter!

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

So farewell then, athletics track
You really were a sack of cack
You really did get on our tits
Not just the long jump was the pits

It never rained, it always poured,
The football very often bored,
The queue was mental for the bogs
The burgers were made out of dogs

You couldn’t hear the tannoy words
The stewarding attracted turds
‘Sit down!’ with a grudging ‘Please!’
One rule for us, one rule for Leeds

‘Get the board out of the way!’
‘You’re too ugly to be gay!’
‘Does your boyfriend know your here?’
‘We’ve got tiny Cox’ Oh dear!

It all sounds truly madly tragic
But - Jeez! – when it was good was magic
Tho Withdean won’t be sorely missed
We came, we saw, we took the piss

 

[Norman Potting]

I stood there on that North Stand, fourteen, it was my time.
Left Dad and Grandad on the East, my Dad said it was fine.

The fans would surge, a song would start of Sussex by the Sea.
There truly was no other place in the world I’d rather be.

My memories of that great old ground now sadly start to fade.
Of Boxing Days with Palace, of goals from Bryan Wade.

My Dad’s now passed, my Grandad too. Two proper Albion men.
I’ll think of them when I take my seat in the North Stand once again.

All very jolly and, in the case of this one, quite moving in it's own way. Well done all!

 

[daveybgtt]

Now this is the story all about how
brighton got stiffed and run out of town
and i'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how the mighty seagulls were in the depths of despair

In the withdean stadium bored and dazed
in the sportsman was where I spent most of my pay
chilly wet taxing
no relaxin not cool
and sitting in H block surrounded by fools

When a couple of stewards, they were up to no good
picking on me and the lads in hoods
I got in one altercation and told to sit down
i said go f*** yourself you jumped up clown

I whistled for a burger and when it got near
the thing was still alive and there was piss in my beer
if anything I could say the toilets were fair
but I though wait a minute theres jizz in my hair

I got back to my car about 7 or 8
I said to the bus driver could we be any later
he said wait for the amex as we are almost there
wel'll soon be sitting top of the barclays premieeeerr

 

[Tom Hark Preston Park]

Now this is the story all about how
brighton got stiffed and run out of town
and i'd like to take a minute just sit right there
I'll tell you how the mighty seagulls were in the depths of despair

In the withdean stadium bored and dazed
in the sportsman was where I spent most of my pay
chilly wet taxing
no relaxin not cool
and sitting in H block surrounded by fools

When a couple of stewards, they were up to no good
picking on me and the lads in hoods
I got in one altercation and told to sit down
i said go f*** yourself you jumped up clown

I whistled for a burger and when it got near
the thing was still alive and there was piss in my beer
if anything I could say the toilets were fair
but I though wait a minute theres jizz in my hair

I got back to my car about 7 or 8
I said to the bus driver could we be any later
he said wait for the amex as we are almost there
wel'll soon be sitting top of the barclays premieeeerr

 

[Mendoza]

12 seasons they came, they built more and more stands,
Left with fond memories to their promised land.

It started with six against Mansfield Town,
Promoted four times, but twice they went down.

Zamora would score, from Paul Watson's assists
The best against Halifax, with a volley so crisp

Micky came in, he was man of the hour,
But second time round it all just turned sour.

He won us the league, but almost went down
Then Slade saved our bacon, he was toast of the town.

Before them was Wilkins, who used mainly our kids.
They finished in seventh, but Dick Knight got rid.

McGhee had his turn, with Knight's goals we went up
Survived on last day with a bit of good luck.

For game after game, you could hear the crowd boo,
We'd turn up each week knowing that we will lose.

But along came King Gus, a real breath of fresh air.
He got the team winning and playing with flair.

So goodbye Withdean, the Theatre of Trees,
No matter how bad, there were great memories.

We move to The AMEX all bursting with pride.
Remembering our fans who so tragically died

The 14 year wait was a very long time,
But now we look forward to a future so bright...

 

[hans kraay fan club]

12 seasons they came, they built more and more stands,
Left with fond memories to their promised land.

It started with six against Mansfield Town,
Promoted four times, but twice they went down.

Zamora would score, from Paul Watson's assists
The best against Halifax, with a volley so crisp

Micky came in, he was man of the hour,
But second time round it all just turned sour.

He won us the league, but almost went down
Then Slade saved our bacon, he was toast of the town.

Before them was Wilkins, who used mainly our kids.
They finished in seventh, but Dick Knight got rid.

McGhee had his turn, with Knight's goals we went up
Survived on last day with a bit of good luck.

For game after game, you could hear the crowd boo,
We'd turn up each week knowing that we will lose.

But along came King Gus, a real breath of fresh air.
He got the team winning and playing with flair.

So goodbye Withdean, the Theatre of Trees,
No matter how bad, there were great memories.

We move to The AMEX all bursting with pride.
Remembering our fans who so tragically died

The 14 year wait was a very long time,
But now we look forward to a future so bright...

I like THIS part.

 

[Hiney]

Posh Spice is a slapper
She really is very keen
When she's shagging Backham
She thinks of the Withdean

 

[Hiney]

Ok. Nice to be 'a part of it' in some tiny way, and cheaper than a heritage stone!

Marcus will never speak to you again.

 

[hans kraay fan club]

Marcus will never speak to you again.

He'll be fine

 

[Tony Meolas Loan Spell]

Indeed I will.

 

[Hiney]

Thought so