[Misc] NSC Mental Health Thread

[Beach Hut]

I also found retirement more difficult than I expected. Converted transit to camper van in 2019. Not had much use out of it yet due to COVID restrictions. I find keeping busy with DIY projects occupies my mind so, no room for intrusive thoughts.

Strange that, I retired 2 years ago and it seems like I am finally having a hugely extended gap year. I spend as much time outdoors either walking or cycling and plan everything around the weather.

 

[portlock seagull]

Talking doesn’t work for many. It’s not a panacea, as much as it’s encouraged. Modern life is to blame. Pre covid we’ve never been wealthier in general but equally never been more miserable. So many people are on anti depressants in the UK that our water services cannot entirely eradicate traces of, so in some respects we’re all on them! My recommendation would be to turn the tech off and get outside....oh, we’re not allowed to!

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Thanks for sharing your experience. I have met many people with learning disabilities who also suffer poor mental health. It is particularly difficult for young people who struggle to conform to the norms expected by school and society. Being ‘different’ and not seeing the world as others do can be a challenge.
I struggled at school and socially as, although I was quite bright, I was slow to speak, read and write. I was diagnosed with dyslexia in my 40s after one of my sons was diagnosed.
Dyslexia to me is a different way of thinking which should be better understood. I have good spatial awareness which compensates for my poor communication skills. Many successful architects are dyslexic.
It has taken me 60 years to fully realise that being different is OK.

Brilliant. And....better than OK. Individuals being different is essential to the health of the population. And who knows - perhaps we are moving into a new era of better-than-acceptance.

I have been chatting via the email with one of my students who has similar issues to me. Like me, bursts of over analysing and hand wringing. She knows more about this stuff than me, but she calls it a gift. I'll take that, any day.

My view also is that with many heritable conditions (both my brothers and my dad are/were all the same as me, to different degrees) we have it in the gene pool because it provides a survival advantage. What that advantage is may be harder to fathom. I do bizarre and seemingly counterintuitive things, especially at work, and it often comes up gold. It doesn't stop a large cohort of people thinking I'm a pillock though (same applies on NSC for sure), 'he's his own worst enemy' is one regular quip, but so it goes.

 

[Weststander]

I've never suffered much apart from the usual 'ups and downs' of life in general - but the more this goes on, the lower I feel.

Just booked a lovely holiday to the US in August. Even as I was booking it with a very excited Mrs KN I'd already resigned myself to it being cancelled.

I think that we've all, at various speeds, fallen into a very negative mindset thanks to the press and the news (plus the actual rules and laws) - which kind of gets you into a spiral. I really have to force myself to do productive things now.

Unless ‘in the mood’, in an instant I change TV or radio channels the moment they launch into their very deliberate bad news narrative about the pandemic or politics, when there are so many positive angles just now. Editors and some presenters seem hellbent on making people feel worse about life. R5’s Tony Livesey has touched on this.

I think by April, finally, life will be getting back to near normal.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Mrs AR and myself have been dealing with family loss recently.
During the month of Dec last year we had to have our Bertie (5 YO cat) put to sleep.
A week later we did a mercy dash to the RSC hospital to see my wife's father, as her mum had a call saying that it would be important to see him fairly quickly. Unluckily we were all too late, as he had passed away.
My mum, who was in a Bexhill carehome, contracted CV19, transferred to the Conquest hospital for treatment, then in Jan this she passed away.
Last month, a close family friend died of CV19.

Whilst dealing with all this and waiting for funeral dates, the grief has just rolled from one issue to another.
It's been hard dealing with all this, plus the constant stress of when we'll properly see our families again.

Going out for walks and the allotment for us helps greatly.
TBH life is pretty shit at the moment

 

[portlock seagull]

Unless ‘in the mood’, in an instant I change TV or radio channels the moment they launch into their very deliberate bad news narrative about the pandemic or politics, when there are so many positive angles just now. Editors and some presenters seem hellbent on making people feel worse about life. R5’s Tony Livesey has touched on this.

I think by April, finally, life will be getting back to near normal.

Totally agree Westy, I used to be a news and current affairs addict until 2016-17 when the narrative changed to saturation Brexit and then covid. I rarely listen to five live anymore, haven’t watched news night or question time in last 2 years. Used to read broadsheet papers daily, but now probably bought perhaps 2 in the last year if that.

It’s poisonous really, enough to ruin your day before it’s started these days.

 

[Brian Fantana]

I’ve never struggled with my mental health until last summer. Literally, out of nowhere, I developed OCD. I can’t describe how difficult it’s been for the last 7-8 months. Some days/moments you feel like a totally different person to the one you feel like you’ve been for your entire life. It was a condition that I previously knew very little about, and since being diagnosed I’ve learnt an enormous amount about it. It’s something that’s massively misunderstood, I think.

 

[portlock seagull]

Mrs AR and myself have been dealing with family loss recently.
During the month of Dec last year we had to have our Bertie (5 YO cat) put to sleep.
A week later we did a mercy dash to the RSC hospital to see my wife's father, as her mum had a call saying that it would be important to see him fairly quickly. Unluckily we were all too late, as he had passed away.
My mum, who was in a Bexhill carehome, contracted CV19, transferred to the Conquest hospital for treatment, then in Jan this she passed away.
Last month, a close family friend died of CV19.

Whilst dealing with all this and waiting for funeral dates, the grief has just rolled from one issue to another.
It's been hard dealing with all this, plus the constant stress of when we'll properly see our families again.

Going out for walks and the allotment for us helps greatly.
TBH life is pretty shit at the moment

Condolences AR. Knew you’d had a ‘difficult patch’ but adding the most recent tragedies must left you numbed. Very sorry to hear, life is wonderful but also traumatic. Feel for you. Keep doing to walks and allotment, excellent therapy. Out in nature is the best prescription you can have as we both know.

 

[Questions]

I wanna get off my tots on class A drugs at a party as soon as possible.

 

[Uncle Spielberg]

The last year has tested so many to breaking point with covid 19. It does not help when their is so much positive data the press briefings only focus on the negative and doomsday scenario any good news is mitigated with another bloody mutation. Also the covid experience has been so different for so many people, we have all have boats, but some have a luxury yacht and some have a leaking dinghy. My work keeps me going and bringing up my dog that is my drive and purpose but all the things that made life enjoyable have gone for a year now and the lemons are being squeezed. Hardly seen my 86 year old dad and friends for a year now

 

[Chicken Run]

I wanna get off my tots on class A drugs at a party as soon as possible.

That made me chuckle Questions.

 

[Cheshire Cat]

The other issue is those with mental health issues that are incurable.

Mrs Cat developed early onset vascular dementia a few years ago and is getting progressively worse. Lock downs and associated isolation have made it even more difficult.

A social worker came round about a month ago to see her (not heard back since but that is another story) and after listening to my rant / explanation of how Mrs Cat was (not at all well) and how she had descended to where she is, decided that I was "on the edge", although I'm not sure what edge I am on.

I thought I was coping reasonably well under the circumstances, but maybe not.

 

[Brighton Rocker]

Strange that, I retired 2 years ago and it seems like I am finally having a hugely extended gap year. I spend as much time outdoors either walking or cycling and plan everything around the weather.

After 2 years of retirement I think I am finally getting the hang of it. Spend a lot of time cycling which is great for lifting the mood. Have also got involved with NHS mental health trust and a university using my lived experience of mental health to help improve services. I find this gives me purpose.

 

[Beach Hut]

After 2 years of retirement I think I am finally getting the hang of it. Spend a lot of time cycling which is great for lifting the mood. Have also got involved with NHS mental health trust and a university using my lived experience of mental health to help improve services. I find this gives me purpose.

Cycling really does help, when I get out and have the headphones on full blast nothing beats it.

 

[Brighton Rocker]

Talking doesn’t work for many. It’s not a panacea, as much as it’s encouraged. Modern life is to blame. Pre covid we’ve never been wealthier in general but equally never been more miserable. So many people are on anti depressants in the UK that our water services cannot entirely eradicate traces of, so in some respects we’re all on them! My recommendation would be to turn the tech off and get outside....oh, we’re not allowed to!

Agreed talking is not going to help everyone who suffers with their mental health. I have realised what helps me through trial and error. Have had anti depressants and talking therapies but, have found mental health courses where you can learn how to cope by sharing experiences with others to be the most helpful. Getting outside and soaking up some sun is good for the mood and boosts vitamin D levels.
I have found social media challenging and have left many groups as a result. Recent research has shown that responding to posts on social media is better for your mental health than just reading posts.
Social media can be a lifeline for people who are isolated (especially in a pandemic). Before the pandemic, I knew a handful of people in the village where I live but now, via the Facebook mutual support group, I am in contact with far more.

 

[portlock seagull]

Agreed talking is not going to help everyone who suffers with their mental health. I have realised what helps me through trial and error. Have had anti depressants and talking therapies but, have found mental health courses where you can learn how to cope by sharing experiences with others to be the most helpful. Getting outside and soaking up some sun is good for the mood and boosts vitamin D levels.
I have found social media challenging and have left many groups as a result. Recent research has shown that responding to posts on social media is better for your mental health than just reading posts.
Social media can be a lifeline for people who are isolated (especially in a pandemic). Before the pandemic, I knew a handful of people in the village where I live but now, via the Facebook mutual support group, I am in contact with far more.

One of the few good things to come out of the plague is the increased sense of community. I got involved helping vulnerable people in my village and soon found myself coordinating/doing loads of things to support people, and meet lots new lovely people as you did similarly. Many people do genuinely care and some of those I know I’d nominate for an MBE etc. Proper local heroes some of ‘em. Made some good friends coming together in a crisis.

 

[Wardy's twin]

Looking back through my life (I am 64 now) i can see times when things were not right. Self induced pressure over O and A levels and having issues with eating at that time. When I got my first house had signs of ' over checking' things e.g. taps off , electric off etc.

To put this in perspective I managed a full career , dealing with a lot of pressure including callout on computer systems which if down would cost the company many thousands of pounds an hour . I managed various technical teams as well.

In my early 50's things changed , the company became focussed on performance management , not an issue with me I usually had VG markings but now was expected to manage my team in a much more aggressive way. Not sure what was the trigger but i was caught in between my team and senior management. I also made a couple of mistakes as the workload escalated not serious enough to cause issues but enough for me to know I had made them. This triggered lots and lots of 'checking activities' basically I was on the slippery slope towards full blown OCD. Doing the checks (on silly things) and by checks I mean repeating a checking activity and basically counting the repeat on a finger... I would do this 5 times , five fingers out from my fist . then one for luck and another ... Wasting my life spending half an hour on something that should not happen. I just had to do it even though half my mind was telling me this was stupid, the reassurance of the checking putting at bay some of the anxiety which was driving the OCD. Driving became hard, every bike, child on pavement etc became a magnified issue , I would go past a bike then take a left to go round a block to check that i had not hit the bike. Driving home would take 30 mins rather than 10.

My family started to notice things , no one at work did I just kept on turning out the results but putting in more effort. I saw a GP , who was going to give me beta blockers and told me to stop eating chocolate, I decided not to take them. A few months later I saw another GP at same practise and got very lucky as she had experience in the Mental Illness side and put me on citalopram. A mild dose which had some positive benefits. Unfortunately the pressure at work just grew and grew and the citalopram couldn't keep up and POP I just could not deal with it . I saw the GP and she signed me off, I told my boss and he was surprised but fine about it. I ended up on the top level of citalopram and off two months. I could have taken 6 months off at full pay but didn't, i knew that would have meant it had beaten me. My boss was unsure about me coming back, I told him i would do it but I would no longer manage people. I got back to work, focussed on the areas that I knew I was best at and which I had control of and had full responsibility for. Also kept doing my callout.

I worked for another 3 years, excelled in my strong areas and then took early retirement.

I still take citalopram but half the top dose, probably would give it up if I were younger. I am back to mainly normal but have the odd OCD twinge which I deal with.

During my 'illness' I had 3 lots of CBT , did it work? It certainly helped it's main benefit was to not be afraid to talk about my condition. I learnt a lot of how to deal with things to the point where I have helped a couple of other people. Once you have been there the signs in other affected people are obvious.

The two critical things though were the tablets and most of all the coming out and getting signed off work. It became an open subject not hidden and the actual two months off acted as a firebreak to the pressure and then gave me time to repair a bit.

If you have a mental health problem then all I can say is seek help , be open with it , if your friends don't like it then they are not your friend.

Sorry for the grammar - it just poured out.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

 

[Questions]

On the whole I’ve enjoyed the Covid lockdown. Because my wife was so poorly it’s allowed me to look after her and still get money through the self employed business. I’ve also managed to watch more porn than usual but that has disappointed me with some of their plot lines.

 

[AmexRuislip]

Looking back through my life (I am 64 now) i can see times when things were not right. Self induced pressure over O and A levels and having issues with eating at that time. When I got my first house had signs of ' over checking' things e.g. taps off , electric off etc.

To put this in perspective I managed a full career , dealing with a lot of pressure including callout on computer systems which if down would cost the company many thousands of pounds an hour . I managed various technical teams as well.

In my early 50's things changed , the company became focussed on performance management , not an issue with me I usually had VG markings but now was expected to manage my team in a much more aggressive way. Not sure what was the trigger but i was caught in between my team and senior management. I also made a couple of mistakes as the workload escalated not serious enough to cause issues but enough for me to know I had made them. This triggered lots and lots of 'checking activities' basically I was on the slippery slope towards full blown OCD. Doing the checks (on silly things) and by checks I mean repeating a checking activity and basically counting the repeat on a finger... I would do this 5 times , five fingers out from my fist . then one for luck and another ... Wasting my life spending half an hour on something that should not happen. I just had to do it even though half my mind was telling me this was stupid, the reassurance of the checking putting at bay some of the anxiety which was driving the OCD. Driving became hard, every bike, child on pavement etc became a magnified issue , I would go past a bike then take a left to go round a block to check that i had not hit the bike. Driving home would take 30 mins rather than 10.

My family started to notice things , no one at work did I just kept on turning out the results but putting in more effort. I saw a GP , who was going to give me beta blockers and told me to stop eating chocolate, I decided not to take them. A few months later I saw another GP at same practise and got very lucky as she had experience in the Mental Illness side and put me on citalopram. A mild dose which had some positive benefits. Unfortunately the pressure at work just grew and grew and the citalopram couldn't keep up and POP I just could not deal with it . I saw the GP and she signed me off, I told my boss and he was surprised but fine about it. I ended up on the top level of citalopram and off two months. I could have taken 6 months off at full pay but didn't, i knew that would have meant it had beaten me. My boss was unsure about me coming back, I told him i would do it but I would no longer manage people. I got back to work, focussed on the areas that I knew I was best at and which I had control of and had full responsibility for. Also kept doing my callout.

I worked for another 3 years, excelled in my strong areas and then took early retirement.

I still take citalopram but half the top dose, probably would give it up if I were younger. I am back to mainly normal but have the odd OCD twinge which I deal with.

During my 'illness' I had 3 lots of CBT , did it work? It certainly helped it's main benefit was to not be afraid to talk about my condition. I learnt a lot of how to deal with things to the point where I have helped a couple of other people. Once you have been there the signs in other affected people are obvious.

The two critical things though were the tablets and most of all the coming out and getting signed off work. It became an open subject not hidden and the actual two months off acted as a firebreak to the pressure and then gave me time to repair a bit.

If you have a mental health problem then all I can say is seek help , be open with it , if your friends don't like it then they are not your friend.

Sorry for the grammar - it just poured out.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

Thanks for sharing this

 

[Harry Wilson's tackle]

Looking back through my life (I am 64 now) i can see times when things were not right. Self induced pressure over O and A levels and having issues with eating at that time. When I got my first house had signs of ' over checking' things e.g. taps off , electric off etc.

To put this in perspective I managed a full career , dealing with a lot of pressure including callout on computer systems which if down would cost the company many thousands of pounds an hour . I managed various technical teams as well.

In my early 50's things changed , the company became focussed on performance management , not an issue with me I usually had VG markings but now was expected to manage my team in a much more aggressive way. Not sure what was the trigger but i was caught in between my team and senior management. I also made a couple of mistakes as the workload escalated not serious enough to cause issues but enough for me to know I had made them. This triggered lots and lots of 'checking activities' basically I was on the slippery slope towards full blown OCD. Doing the checks (on silly things) and by checks I mean repeating a checking activity and basically counting the repeat on a finger... I would do this 5 times , five fingers out from my fist . then one for luck and another ... Wasting my life spending half an hour on something that should not happen. I just had to do it even though half my mind was telling me this was stupid, the reassurance of the checking putting at bay some of the anxiety which was driving the OCD. Driving became hard, every bike, child on pavement etc became a magnified issue , I would go past a bike then take a left to go round a block to check that i had not hit the bike. Driving home would take 30 mins rather than 10.

My family started to notice things , no one at work did I just kept on turning out the results but putting in more effort. I saw a GP , who was going to give me beta blockers and told me to stop eating chocolate, I decided not to take them. A few months later I saw another GP at same practise and got very lucky as she had experience in the Mental Illness side and put me on citalopram. A mild dose which had some positive benefits. Unfortunately the pressure at work just grew and grew and the citalopram couldn't keep up and POP I just could not deal with it . I saw the GP and she signed me off, I told my boss and he was surprised but fine about it. I ended up on the top level of citalopram and off two months. I could have taken 6 months off at full pay but didn't, i knew that would have meant it had beaten me. My boss was unsure about me coming back, I told him i would do it but I would no longer manage people. I got back to work, focussed on the areas that I knew I was best at and which I had control of and had full responsibility for. Also kept doing my callout.

I worked for another 3 years, excelled in my strong areas and then took early retirement.

I still take citalopram but half the top dose, probably would give it up if I were younger. I am back to mainly normal but have the odd OCD twinge which I deal with.

During my 'illness' I had 3 lots of CBT , did it work? It certainly helped it's main benefit was to not be afraid to talk about my condition. I learnt a lot of how to deal with things to the point where I have helped a couple of other people. Once you have been there the signs in other affected people are obvious.

The two critical things though were the tablets and most of all the coming out and getting signed off work. It became an open subject not hidden and the actual two months off acted as a firebreak to the pressure and then gave me time to repair a bit.

If you have a mental health problem then all I can say is seek help , be open with it , if your friends don't like it then they are not your friend.

Sorry for the grammar - it just poured out.

There is light at the end of the tunnel

Thanks for posting