NSC Grumpy Old Men Thread

[Willow]

Twats that don't dip their headlights.

Playlists on radio that rotate the same old pap every hour.

People who use umbrellas when it's only spitting.

The cult of the celebrity as purported by the red tops - I couldn't give a stuff about any of them.

Contractors who do the same job as you, only not as well, but get paid twice as much.

Microsoft exams that cost £108 quid a go.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Oh don't get me started on Mums and kids in their bloody 4-wheel Tonka Toys. In fact, people who drive 4-wheel drive cars in towns anyway. I mean - WHY?

People who automatically buy a 4-wheel drive because they've moved out from suburbia and need evidence that they are now pukka countryfolk. Such off-road driving they'll do involves close encounters with hedges and because they can't actually drive the fecking thing properly.

I'm not best impressed with they new-fangled "off road" sort of monster sized pushchairs either, mind. Mostly steered by people with the same haphazard approach to steering as the 4 wheel drivers.

 

[Curious Orange]

Having been swimming last night, I can identify a few more gripes.

1) Kids playing in the competition pool when there is a leisure pool next door.
2) People who blatantly can't swim.
3) Morons who think they are doing crawl but are actually just splashing everyone because their stroke is appauling.
4) Women who go in pairs very slowly up and down the middle of the pool chatting and taking up as much space as possible.
5) People who swim straight at you without even trying to avoid you.

 

[dougdeep]

Women who muscle in on an old men thread.

 

[Lord Bracknell]

What Chappers said.

 

[Lady Bracknell]

Women who muscle in on an old men thread.

Grumpy Old Mysognists!

 

[dougdeep]

Grumpy Old Mysognists!

If I new what that meant I'd sue.

 

[Bob!]

people that bounce meaningless Kev the Ape threads

 

[Easy 10]

Those f***ing LAME jokes that come on before Emmerdale where those deaf old TWATS keep mis-hearing each other, kicking off a "hilarious" chain reaction of Chinese Whispers.

Example.

Twat 1 to Twat 2: "Richards been feeling a bit sick"
Twat 2 to Twat 3: "Richards got a massive dick"
Twat 3 to Twat 4: "Richard sucked off the vicar and raped Alans donkey last night"

 

[The Large One]

What Chappers said.

You're the grumpiest of the lot with your moaning about Norman Baker and Lewes District Council and Falmer Parish Council and yah de yah de yah. You even look like a grumpy old git. And as for that roz, well...

 

[On the Left Wing]

Far too much to list .... if you get me started I could even make Victor Meldrew seem tame ...

for starters:

1) all the crap on TV, especially so-called reality TV programmes, soaps and US crud like CSI

2) the Tory party trying to reinvent itself, hoping we have all forgotten 18 years of Thatcherism/Majorism and the crooks: Aitken, Archer, Hamilton and Co

3) Drivers who tailgate (even at 70mph) and then cut you up on the inside


...... that will do for starters

 

[The Large One]

3) Drivers who tailgate (even at 70mph) and then cut you up on the inside

Common occurence in Portugal - it's kind of a way of life.

Anyway...

People - alright, women - who take their kids shopping just to scream at them.

Shoes. The most boring topic of conversation. Shut up about your f***ing shoes.

Taxi drivers - a bloody law unto themselves. And none of them can drive. Or navigate.

Queues at the bank at lunchtime when the tellers have all sodded off.

Milky's bird. Does she exist?

Perseus.

 

[Hannibal smith]

4) Women who go in pairs very slowly up and down the middle of the pool chatting and taking up as much space as possible.

Women should be banned from Swimming pools full stop. One stupid cow down the Gym had a go at me because I made her hair wet. Sake, If you don't want to get wet then get out of the pool. Otherwise button it. As for those that swim and Chat. Cant you keep you big mouth shut for 10 seconds and do some exercise instead of using it as excuse to talk gossip? If they are fit and naked I might give them a special dispensation to use the pool though.

Other things that get my goat.

Colin and Edith : If I hear one of their voices in puts me in a bad mood.

The bloke next to me at work that moans all day about anything. One day I will windmill him.

The M25 on a Friday night and the lack of work that seems to be going on in the Road works. Surely I should see someone working at some point?

Predictive test messaging. WTF?

 

[Dave the OAP]

People who have very LOUD[/SIZE] ring tones on the train when you are trying to sleep

Also, women who go on and on about....... Darren I met last night and was so sweet and i shagged him but he has not called me this morning......ON THE BLOODY MOBILE PHONE WHEN WE ARE ALL TRYING TO SLEEP you stupid noisy chavvy bitch

 

[Everest]

Taxi drivers - a bloody law unto themselves. And none of them can drive. Or navigate.

Fat people

*thinks* f*ck it.

 

[Dave the OAP]

Dont get me started on Taxi drivers that you book them after a flight from Menorca to pick you up from Gatwick and then they dont turn up and when you phone them they telll you no one has written it in the book and go and get a cup of cofee and he will be there as soon as he can

 

[aftershavedave]

women talking in public:

"she said......"
"yeah...and then she said"
"and then he said"
"and she said..."

FFS get your own lives !!!

 

[Deportivo Seagull]

Boy bands, girl bands reality tv.

Poxy ring tones ... they don't sound anything like the real thing.

parents who go to the pub with their young kids and then get pi$$ed


soaps

women who go the gym and then walk on the running machine, at a pace slower than they normally walk.

People who buy a burger and then complain if they can't get a diet coke to go with it .

 

[Everest]

Dont get me started on Taxi drivers that you book them after a flight from Menorca to pick you up from Gatwick and then they dont turn up and when you phone them they telll you no one has written it in the book and go and get a cup of cofee and he will be there as soon as he can

You know who to call next time then Dave. The offer was there.

PS don't tell me. 41?

 

[Curious Orange]

Action Man - he was much better in my day, Eagle Eyes, proper guns and costumes and everything. This modern one is a mockery.